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How to keep her attention when a friend comes in the bar
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=192488		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  sixlbs [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 7:48 am ]
Post subject:  How to keep her attention when a friend comes in the bar
Seriously, I need help with this. I live in a college/party town and every time I open a set and get some good conversation going I get beat out by random friends walking up and jumping in the middle and taking over. I try to re engage and re position myself in the set but its always to late. How do you get back into the conversation and take control again. Sorry if this a a newbie question, But i appreciate any input.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to keep her attention when a friend comes in the bar
I would suggest one of two things:

1) you may not be engaging enough, funny enough, holding their attention enough to warrant them staying focused on you. Without actually knowing more about how you are in the field it's tough to say. If you feel this may be the case it might be worth having a good look at why... If it's because they aren't attracted to you then there's not a hell of a lot you can do about that besides always trying to look you best and maximizing your odds. Smell good, shower, brush your teeth and be charming.

2) Do you "check out" of the conversations once this happens? Like do you give up? You may want to try engaging the new crowd or new guy and chatting him up from a position of semi-authority. Chat them up like you would any other friend and go with it.

Not sure if either of these suggestions are relevant to you - but again, without seeing how you are socially I don't know that I can do a whole lot better without just simply guessing... You did not provide a whole lot of detail.
Author:  Dragula [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to keep her attention when a friend comes in the bar
This is what happens when you're indirect. Her friends are more interesting to her than that fake fight outside.

If you put some intent in there. They either reject you or engaged by you. It's kinda like keeping several fires a light till you attract her enough so that you can turn her away from her friends and be more one on one.

If you're indirect, then it can be pretty exausting entertaining a group. Not to mention the inefficiencies.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to keep her attention when a friend comes in the bar
Quote:
This is what happens when you're indirect. Her friends are more interesting to her than that fake fight outside.

If you put some intent in there. They either reject you or engaged by you. It's kinda like keeping several fires a light till you attract her enough so that you can turn her away from her friends and be more one on one.

If you're indirect, then it can be pretty exausting entertaining a group. Not to mention the inefficiencies.
Direct Mike would be proud! You're not afraid of the "threat direct represents" after all, Peb ;)
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to keep her attention when a friend comes in the bar
You've gotta take off the horse blinders and be really quick to respond to whats going on around you. That is going to keep happening to you until you decide to stop letting it happen. You need to stop drinking and pay attention. When you see a girl or another guy walking at you and the group you're talking to like you are trying to steal one of their friends (because you are), you need to acknowledge that and take control of the situation BEFORE it actually happens.

Interrupt her. Smile. Maybe tilt your head and point a bit and say "Are these your friends coming in behind you?" and then smile at the friends. They are probably blocking you out because you're just standing there like a creepy weirdo.
Author:  Dragula [ Sun Aug 30, 2015 6:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to keep her attention when a friend comes in the bar
Quote:
Quote:
This is what happens when you're indirect. Her friends are more interesting to her than that fake fight outside.

If you put some intent in there. They either reject you or engaged by you. It's kinda like keeping several fires a light till you attract her enough so that you can turn her away from her friends and be more one on one.

If you're indirect, then it can be pretty exausting entertaining a group. Not to mention the inefficiencies.
Direct Mike would be proud! You're not afraid of the "threat direct represents" after all, Peb ;)

Lol - my whole dispute with Magic mike wasn't about direct being bad or good... It was because he wasn't reading any of the forum's content, spouting the 'you''re all manipulative PUA robots' tangents when this place isn't about that anymore...when in fact clueless noobs are actually advised to be more honest and normal.

In the OP's case. This is his sticking point. I could go go a little advanced about going more for a eye contact to make it warm within groups, which is way better than opening verbally direct or indirect but I don't want to get too complex for the OP since he is new to it all...But here is a little something for him:

When she has told her friends that the cute guy just made eye contact with her. You will be amazed how her friends will disappear and leave to it when you go over and chat her up. Just be respectful and give them a little wave to show that you're normal. Shower them with compliments is usually enough.
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