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| How do I keep female friends in general? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=184815 |
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| Author: | nrjose27 [ Mon Oct 20, 2014 7:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | How do I keep female friends in general? |
Lately, I've realized that I don't have a lot of female friends. I say friends because I'm not trying to hit on them. It's nice to have a social circle that consists of HBs, and even they could lead me to doors that are waiting to be opened; but due to exams, midterms, and other things that'll make a college student's head spin, Gaming isn't my top priority at the moment. So my SP is that I don't know how to stay in touch with a female friend after contacting and meeting her. The spark from our experience together seems to glow radiantly at first, but then starts to flicker and die as time passes on. Here's an example of what happened to me concerning making and keeping female friends: Last month, I unexpectedly ran into a childhood friend. It's been slightly over a decade since we've last seen each other, and we just kept talking about what we've been up to, what our majors are, etc. She tells me that she has a boyfriend and all that cool stuff, and I just nod and agree. I tell her that we should meet up some time next week since she's asking A LOT of questions and i have class in a few minutes, and we exchange numbers on cue. Before our meet, I text her little things, like "what's up?", and she'd respond within a few lines of her own. Sometimes, she'd give me 2:1. Things are still going great. On the day of the meet, we go out for babo tea. I pay for our drinks since it was my treat to her, and just like when we first met, we talked about things from out past, like how one of our school teachers from grade school got arrested. Nothing went wrong in our conversation - no awkward silences, forceful laughs, or anything bad. Things just went off perfectly and naturally. Eventually, we had to split ways. She mentions to me how she has an apartment on campus and tells me where it is. She even suggested that I visit some other day, and I said that I'd think about it. TODAY, things weren't the way it used to be. All of a sudden, she doesn't seem so interested anymore. I texted her "what's up?" and it took her a week to answer, which is strange to me. I wasn't hitting on her in any way when we met up for babo tea, but when friends treat me like this, I tend to feel like I was just used as a one-timer. This is just a typical pattern for me now. It varies slightly with different girls and different venues, but the end results are nonetheless the same: I somehow lose in touch with a girl after a magical experience. How can I break from this cycle if I'm only trying to make friends? |
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| Author: | rakeal [ Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How do I keep female friends in general? |
it's normal for girls to do that. Even really good friends. |
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| Author: | Koolor [ Wed Oct 22, 2014 3:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How do I keep female friends in general? |
Quote: it's normal for girls to do that. Even really good friends.
What he said. Btw I noticed this no texting back-itis occurs a lot in my female friends when they have a guy they are seriously interested in. Just keep calm and carry on, even guys do this too. We all met/have that guy friend who completely goes off the grid when he gets a gf. |
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| Author: | nrjose27 [ Thu Oct 23, 2014 2:06 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How do I keep female friends in general? |
You guys are rather taking this lightly Yeah, fine, a girl decides to never text or call me back b/c she has boyfriend priorities... but what about her group of friends? I can understand to a certain extent why a girl would decide to stop making contact with me altogether, but what makes me so different from all her other friends? What do they have that I'm lacking in? There's gotta be something that enables them to still be friends with the girl despite the girl having a boyfriend, or there's gotta be something I'm (not) doing... I've always let these things slide by allowing nature to take its course: make contact, exchange numbers, meet up, split up, forget everything, REPEAT. But one thing I haven't done yet is actually call the girl and confront her about where our relationship stands. Should I call the girl just to clear things up? |
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| Author: | EnsoNytes [ Sun Oct 26, 2014 7:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How do I keep female friends in general? |
If you want female friends that stick, I feel like you have to share an ongoing common interest or bond. I think this is true to friendships of any kind. If you stop and think of all the friends you have ever had, you probably had a unique bond with them due to the nature of how you met. For example, I have my PUA friends, high school friends, coworker friends, etc. If you are trying to reconnect with an old childhood friend, you can't expect the relationship to just pick up where it left off unless you both have a reason for it to. Go out and define the type of friendship you want with different girls. |
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| Author: | nrjose27 [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 3:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How do I keep female friends in general? |
Quote: If you want female friends that stick, I feel like you have to share an ongoing common interest or bond. I think this is true to friendships of any kind. If you stop and think of all the friends you have ever had, you probably had a unique bond with them due to the nature of how you met. If it's one thing that I suck at, it's trying to maintain that ongoing interest or bond. I'd think that after we're done having our time together, the girl would go back to her friends, meet some other dudes, and put our experience in the back of her mind. It's basically a competition to see who can get her attention the most, right? If that's the case, then I'm constantly at a loss. To stick myself out of her mind is to pretty much be alpha, and the journey has never been so rough, albeit rewarding.On a side note, how could I make my friends text me first instead of the other way around? I know this may sound a little selfish, but I feel as if the whole conversation is one-sided if it's just me always making the effort to establish some communication between my peers. Maybe there's something wrong with my text Game? |
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| Author: | GamesSN [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: How do I keep female friends in general? |
It's normal. Hell, it's even normal for guys when you're not looking for sex. Surely there are times you've not messaged your guy friends back for whatever reason. Maybe you were half asleep and forgot, maybe you were busy or maybe you just didn't give a damn to reply. Doesn't mean they're not your friends or you don't enjoy their company just that you weren't available or making yourself available for them. It's different if you're attracted to someone, however. I've got one or two really good female friends and there's nothing sexual going on. Sometimes I would text them and not get a reply and sometimes they would text me and I wouldn't reply for whatever reason. The secret is not to follow any set of rules but to just take it casually. Don't be so insecure as to think that you're no longer friends just because of a text message. If you text a girl you only want to be friends with and she doesn't reply don't eagerly await her reply just do whatever. Message her randomly because you feel like it to see what she's up to or you thought of something funny.. just "whatever" should be your mindset for friends unless it's a pressing matter or you've nothing else to do. Obviously you wouldn't be pestering her 24/7 after just having bumped into one another but still take it casually and don't be bothered by it. If she still talks to you then you've nothing to worry about. |
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