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Next steps after being friend zoned
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Author:  frizzypr [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 10:47 am ]
Post subject:  Next steps after being friend zoned
Hey guys, i'll give you lowdown of what's happened between me and this girl.
- We both get close super quick
- I try to kino with her whenever I can (not so easy because she's quite frigid)
- We've met up quite a few times with groups of people but then we usually end up hanging with just ourselves
- I've built up plenty of comfort and rapport with her

Here's the thing, I'm so sure she's attracted or was attracted… Constant staring in to my eyes, always separating me from my friends, lots of hugging, randomly inviting me round, things like that. But somehow the conversation got brought up that I like her without me saying anything and I said 'yeah I do' and things didn't turn out well after that.

So i've clearly been friend zoned, no doubt about it, what might I have done wrong and what should I do next?
Please be more specific than 'don't be her friend'.

Thanks guys!
Author:  Dragula [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Next steps after being friend zoned
Step 1: Escalate on her, if she doesn't like it then move onto step 2.

Step 2: Find more girls (I have a feeling you will latch onto this one girl though)

Step 3: Have sex with other girls (I have a feeling you will disagree because you don't want to ruin what you have with friend zone girl)

Step 4: Man up
Author:  puaninja [ Fri Oct 10, 2014 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Next steps after being friend zoned
Obviously, you don't ever admit that you like them. You say a neg, something to the effect of "I think she's cool, but she's not gf material" Or "She's cool, but she's not really my type." That way when it gets back to her she'll feel like she's not good enough for you and will seek your validation and chase you.

Make no mistake, the damage has been done. So don't fixate too much on this one. However, you may still attempt damage control. The first thing is to act like nothing happened and be even MORE confident around her. Do the same flirting and roughhousing or whatever, but act like she is one of your buds or something. Don't try to get too sexual with it. Then when she starts having fun with you, tell her that you have to go because you have a date.
Author:  Gunfighter28 [ Mon Oct 27, 2014 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Next steps after being friend zoned
Easy fix to this, but I'm gonna tell you as a man it is not your job to talk about feelings science has proven women are more attracted to men who's feelings are unclear. You showed your feelings it was weak non alpha behavior she friend zoned you so you need to start showing alpha male traits if you wanna have any chance with her. So here is what you do call or text her make definite plans to go out if she says she only wants to be friends say I like you I think you're a cool girl I enjoy spending time with you however I'm only interested in you romantically I'm not interested in friendship, but give me a call if you change your mind. Then walk away wait for her to get back to you in the mean time meet date and sleep with as many new women as possible that will give you your confidence and swagger back. This girl clearly has interest in you and showing the alpha qualities of walking away and not settling for anything less then what you want will cause her interest to skyroacket. You can't just be her friend and hope that if your her friend for long enough that one day she'll automatically love you it doesn't work that way.
Author:  younglady [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Next steps after being friend zoned
Whoa, easy there. The advice you've received from your brothers above is only applicable to your so-called "girlfriends". The day you meet "wife material", you'd better tell her how you feel about her, or you are almost guaranteed to lose her. Just a word of caution. I suggest you venture into womens' websites and see for yourself how many of them (in LTRs) complain that their men haven't confirmed their feelings and they want to leave.

It's obvious the girl probably saw you as a brotherly/friendly figure, so she was uncomfortable when she found out you liked her. Either that, or she doesn't want any serious relationships right now. Yes you can manipulate her into returning to you because she is attached to you, but she will never like you in that way. She just loves your company and may like it enough to become your gf so you'll be nice to her again. That's not a good way to start a relationship though.
Author:  Gunfighter28 [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Next steps after being friend zoned
So you're saying the day he meets a girl he views as wife material he should spill his guts about how he feels about her?
Author:  younglady [ Mon Nov 10, 2014 1:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Next steps after being friend zoned
Quote:
So you're saying the day he meets a girl he views as wife material he should spill his guts about how he feels about her?
He doesn't have to do anything. He can mistreat the girl and lose her if he wants.
Author:  chantos [ Tue Nov 11, 2014 1:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Next steps after being friend zoned
Quote:
Whoa, easy there. The advice you've received from your brothers above is only applicable to your so-called "girlfriends". The day you meet "wife material", you'd better tell her how you feel about her, or you are almost guaranteed to lose her. Just a word of caution. I suggest you venture into womens' websites and see for yourself how many of them (in LTRs) complain that their men haven't confirmed their feelings and they want to leave.

It's obvious the girl probably saw you as a brotherly/friendly figure, so she was uncomfortable when she found out you liked her. Either that, or she doesn't want any serious relationships right now. Yes you can manipulate her into returning to you because she is attached to you, but she will never like you in that way. She just loves your company and may like it enough to become your gf so you'll be nice to her again. That's not a good way to start a relationship though.
do not follow this advice for the love of god. the day you meet "wife material" is the day you treat her just like any other girl unless you want her gone in 60 seconds. there are stages, you see. in the attraction stage (which is by default what you're in the day you meet a girl) you never tell her how you feel until she tells you first. you have to make her chase you and give her just enough attention to keep her from giving up. then eventually she will bring up her desire to form a long term relationship and you can agree and show her affection and whatnot.

for example: OP, this very girl we're talking about could have been wife material, but you were too friendly too early on and you confirmed to her that you liked her. so you got friend-zoned. simply laughing and saying you didn't like her to her face would have upped your value in her eyes and made her much more attracted to you.

so don't listen to younglady here. showing affection is necessary once you are in a LTR, but it's often incredibly harmful before that point.

what you need to do is cut out the friendliness with this girl. say you're not really interested in being pals with her and stop hanging out with her so much. hit on other pretty girls in front of her. talk about how beautiful one of her friends is. hell, flirt with her friends even. you need to raise your value in her eyes and you need to communicate attraction to her rather than friendship. if she doesn't bite, move on and don't make the same mistakes with the next girl.

remember: build attraction first, then friendship and comfort once she is asking you to be in the relationship. that doesn't mean be an asshole, mind you. it just means don't be around all the time.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Nov 11, 2014 1:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Next steps after being friend zoned
On this occasion, younglady is dead wrong.

Never confess your feelings for a girl you've never had sex with.
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