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I always fail on facing resistance - too easily influenced
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Author:  umbongo [ Sun Aug 24, 2014 12:42 pm ]
Post subject:  I always fail on facing resistance - too easily influenced
Hi all,

The big problem I keep having in my interactions with girls, is that even when things are going really well/progressing nicely, as soon as the girl says something to make a bit of token resistance a sub-conscious switch goes off in my head and before I realise the implications of what I'm doing I find myself automatically accepting what they say at face value and back-off the pursuit.

For example, I was recently on a 2nd date with a girl and we ended up going to a club, where we were french kissing a lot, biting lips, dirty dancing etc., and when the club started getting a bit slow I said we should leave. As we were heading to the subway she said "I'm feeling a bit tired, maybe I should go home" and I logically accepted it and let her. I now appreciate (also from my later interactions with her) that despite what she said she did want to go home with me, and just wanted me to say a bit to encourage her. I had another experience with a girl last night where we were flirting, bumping and grinding for a good while, and I had a raging boner haha, then I led her by the hand outside to "smoke" but when we were just about to kiss she said "wasn't there something you wanted to ask me?", and it snapped me out of the moment and I ended up in a boring, logical conversation with her - one thing led to another and I lost her and later saw her kissing someone else (who I don't think she had been talking to before me).

It is getting really frustrating, particularly because in most aspects of my life I am determined and independent-minded (used to be on a debating team, am a strong soccer player etc.), and I never have any problem disagreeing with girls I am going out with about restaurant choices, politics, or culture etc., but when I should assert myself in sexual situations I am too easy to influence and be thrown off. Please help - can my sub-conscious instincts and years of habit be changed?
Author:  Dragula [ Sun Aug 24, 2014 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I always fail on facing resistance - too easily influenc
At least you realise where you're fucking it up.

So next time, change your plan. Play to win, don't lay to not lose.
Author:  JJoj [ Tue Oct 07, 2014 8:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I always fail on facing resistance - too easily influenc
I've run into that sticking point a few times. Lately, I've been blowing past it without even really thinking.

Just think about what you'd do if you really like the girl. For example, if you go to kiss a girl you really like and she gives you her cheek, you're going to kiss it. If she realizes that you really like her, she will kiss you anyway. If you act like you are God's gift to her and she should be laying you for that simple reason when you face LMR, she's just going to think you're a jerk.
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