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''Getting to know''
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Author:  Zebra95 [ Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:15 pm ]
Post subject:  ''Getting to know''

Hey guys. I've realized that the whole ''getting to know'' thing is a massive sticking point for me in general. Approach anxiety isn't really a problem and I would say I can handle the situation well once I've known the girl for sometime (at least 3 dates).
However the process of ''getting to know'' each other part is horrible.
I always run out of things to say and really struggle trying not to ''interview'' her.
I need some advice cause the awkward silences and boring conversations are tormenting me :D

P.S. I never kino (unless the girl has started it) which sucks, I know.

Author:  RiRi [ Mon Jun 30, 2014 3:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: ''Getting to know''

Quote:
I've realized that the whole ''getting to know'' thing is a massive sticking point for me in general.
I wouldn't even say this is a sticking point. If you get a girl past day 2, its something else that's missing.

Whats probably missing is your personality. You probably banter well and progress things along but you lack a little depth.

What kinds of girls are these? Do they share similar food/music/fun taste? Do you have anything in common? Do you know what shes into?

Another way to combat these issues by going on dates that require you to do something active: Go-karting, rock climbing etc. This puts less emphasis on the "getting to know each other" part because you actually learn a lot about that person when you do stuff like this. You find out if they are athletic or whiny strong or annoying...it sheds light on a lot of info you want.

So maybe the key to this isnt learning HOW to get to know somebody, but more about WHERE to get to know somebody. it doesnt always have to be over dinner and a movie you know.

In fact, use this to your advantage by picking a spot where YOU shine a little bit. In my case, and assuming the girl likes music, I'll take her to a record store (I happen to be a hiphop and R&B DJ in my spare time). Going to a record store is cool because its both full of nostalgia and is kinda hipster. I would talk about certain songs and what they were sampled with etc. and it shows my knowledge, my element.

What is YOUR element?

Author:  Zebra95 [ Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: ''Getting to know''

Quote:

What is YOUR element?
Great reply! Thank you. I have thought about this before but now that you mention it I will actually start taking them to places where we are ''doing'' something rather than just sitting and talking. Due to where I live this activity will most likely be rock climbing or ice skating.

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