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advice on getting past overthinking things.
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Author:  Gunfighter28 [ Tue Nov 26, 2013 3:43 am ]
Post subject:  advice on getting past overthinking things.
Hey guys my main, and worst sticking point hands down without a doubt is the fact that I over think everything!
When I meet a girl I like I over analyze every move I make, and usually end up beating myself up for the slightest little mistake a may have made. The thing is I talk to a lot of girls on a regular basis I go out with a lot of different girls. Any advice on how to get past that is appreciated thanks.
Author:  Zephh [ Wed Nov 27, 2013 6:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: advice on getting past overthinking things.
I think most guys are in the same boat as you. All you can do is look at each mistake as an opportunity to learn and become better at your craft. There's no need to dwell on things you can't control.
Author:  Gunfighter28 [ Wed Nov 27, 2013 4:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: advice on getting past overthinking things.
Quote:
I think most guys are in the same boat as you. All you can do is look at each mistake as an opportunity to learn and become better at your craft. There's no need to dwell on things you can't control.
That's true. I think my thing is that since I was a kid my parents expect nothing less than the best from me whether its sports or whatever. Not that that's a bad thing its made me a better person I think, but it makes me aware of every little thing I may have done that could be a potential turnoff. I had a situation like that with the last girl I dated I asked a friend about it she just laughed and said you are far to critical of yourself I wouldn't even have noticed that, but I guess being critical of yourself is how you improve as well. I just need to stop beating myself up over little things that most likely didn't even register with the girl.
Thanks for the advice its appreciated!!
Author:  CharlosCarlies [ Thu Nov 28, 2013 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: advice on getting past overthinking things.
Quote:
I think my thing is that since I was a kid my parents expect nothing less than the best from me whether its sports or whatever. Not that that's a bad thing its made me a better person I think, but it makes me aware of every little thing I may have done that could be a potential turnoff.
My parents were the exact same way. I showed a lot of potential early which maybe set the bar too high and everything I did just didn't quite seem to be enough as I went through high school/college. If I got an A, they'd ask "Why not an A+"? Oh you're making decent money..."Why not more?" I'm in no way blaming them for my issues now because the victim mentality never gets you anywhere, but I wouldn't just assume the "expect nothing less" attitude is always positive without at least some positive reinforcement to reward good behavior.

Have you read "No More Mr. Nice Guy?" If not, I highly suggest it. It's amazing how well it describes my childhood and how I act towards many people as an adult.
Author:  Nu K Konnect [ Sat Nov 30, 2013 2:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: advice on getting past overthinking things.
If you have Hi Functioning Autism/Autism Spectrum Disorder (Aspergers), then there is no way to get over over thinking and overanalyzing everything because your brain has been designed to work exactly how it works.

I'm not sure if you have this a lot, but the fact that you posted specifically about over thinking and overanalyzing and said a few things the way you said them makes me think it's possible.

If you do have it, then I can tell you that other people without any form of autism cannot understand it, regardless of how much they claim to over think and overanalyze things themselves. They just assume that they know how you think / feel, but in reality, there's a BIG difference between the "normals" and the people with ASD.

Since I have ASD, I have the tendency to over think and overanalyze every little situation. Some have even accused me of thinking about thinking because of how deep and analytical my questions and thoughts are towards things that most people would consider "simple."

What sucks is that if you do have ASD, then leaning PUA will be TEN TIMES HARDER (if not more) to understand because of the amount of detail it takes just to get things right in addition to the fact that a lot of PUA goes against logic. But then again, some people would argue that the people on Big Bang Theory were able to get girlfriends so I guess there is someone out there for everyone, even if you have slight autism.

Research Autism Spectrum Disorders and see if the traits fit you.
Good luck.
Author:  Gunfighter28 [ Sun Dec 01, 2013 1:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: advice on getting past overthinking things.
Thanks for the info mate! I do have a mild anxiety disorder, but my problem is mainly when I 1st meet a girl that I like I over analyze every little thing until I get comfortable. Then everything is ok I'm just wanna cut out the overthinking part and get to the calm confident part.
Author:  Adonis_Complex [ Tue Dec 03, 2013 2:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: advice on getting past overthinking things.
In addition to what has already been said, moderate alcohol consumption.
Don't over do the booze because that will be counter productive, a good buzz to loosen up works for me. Additionally make sure the time and place is appropriate.
Author:  thevoice123 [ Thu Dec 05, 2013 3:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: advice on getting past overthinking things.
Dude, totally in the same position as you. What has been helping me is de-valuating the situation, it's only one girl at one time, and there are millions of other opportunities. Part of becoming better at game is testing different methods and tactics to find out what works best for you. If it doesn't work, oh well..onto the next one. Still working on this but anyways, hope that helps.
Author:  mmg [ Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: advice on getting past overthinking things.
If you are over-thinking every detail because you are
trying to improve your game, then you have the
gift of focus which 99% don't have. If you are overthinking
with a negative connotation then it most likely means
you are dealing with a scarcity mindset

(meaning you fear there aren't enough woman
available to you, to the point that it MATTERS
if you make a mistake or not.)

When's the last time you overthought wether
you should have order fries or not? You didn't
because in your mind it's not a big deal.
One of the secret of being successful is to
realize IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL. if you messed up so what?
You're human, it's going to happen to you for the rest of your life.
Realize it isn't a big deal and you're overthinking
will stop or you will appreciate it for what it is...focus.

Hugo Moreno
http://www.thinkandattractwoman.com
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