PUA Forum :: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."

From the tone it sounds like you may be waiting too long to ask them and/or being too nice with them. They want a guy that is confident and knows what he wants. When they reply with "oh that's nice" it's a red flag to me that they like you...but not in that way...which is mainly due to the way you have acted towards them since women are mirrors. If you live near a larger town best bet might be to go there once in a while to sarge girls to get good at it. The local girls will noticed your changed vibe and demeanor, believe me.

The awesome thing is you are in the game swinging the bat, so don't give up. Keep learning from the guys here and keep taking action and you will be where you want to be. The reason I brought up the other cities is that not knowing how small your town is, if you game every girl in town you won't have any left to practice on.

You are asking girls for a date instead of exciting them for the date. You are essentially 'asking' for a girlfriend without offering the fun and happiness that can be had by being your girlfriend. Think about this carefully. offer the benefits and you won't need to ask.

I think I get what your saying but could you elaborate more? What do you say to them if not, hey want to go to the movies?

Quote:

I think I get what your saying but could you elaborate more? What do you say to them if not, hey want to go to the movies?

Have fun and cocky flirting sessions, either trough text or in real life. Start talking about vacations and stuff and what you would do etc, (just an example). Once the comfort is high, be like yeah imma be at that club on saturday, you should come. Then have fun together etc and if all goes well you can say something like lets go to the movies. Not do you want to go? but be a bit assertive IE your going and she doesnt have a choice(only if there is enough comfort between you two).

Quote:

I am not sure where you got ^these ideas...

For one thing, I often do post about 'chatting about vacations' but there is a reason for that. My reasons for bringing up "vacation ideas" is for her to get excited about it. Then ... the idea is to BRIDGE that excitement to a real life date idea that you and the girl can go on right now. For example... there is a resort you went to in Koh Samui. They had a reggae pub where girls danced in cages and they served rum punch. Then you bridge her excitement to here and now There is a club here (your local city) where girls dance in cages and they serve rum punch. This is so easy and so predictable. I mean... girls will give you a high five right there and then ask you, "When are we going?"

What you recommend above is ... well... sucky... So you want to chat to a girl about the weather, some random crap, your car, the highways you took to get to the party, (hope you get reeeeaaaaal comfortable with her!) Then you wish to pounce the same old stupid question, "So you wanna go to the movie??" No... you want to be assertive so you, "You will go to the movie with me!" .... "Durh, hurh, hurh, hrh" - this really sucks man.

I wrote, "So you want to go bowling," on purpose. Well, after this proposition, do you want to go bowling with me or not? Would it have made any difference if I talked to you about the weather, the highways, some tv show, or some stupid holiday/vacation ideas prior to pouncing on the question? Be serious now...

How about if I just told you that the last time I went bowling, the girl's league was in town and a whole bunch of them wanted to smoke weed and suck cock so we brought them back to my place?... But sorry, we already have a team of four for this Friday.... YOU WOULD BE BEGGING my ASS to get on my fucking retarded bowling team. Do you get it? Sell the fucking product! Stop wasting time! Above all, stop begging.

Quote:

Well I agree with you on some points, your advice might be better. I just said how I do it over here in holland, I just talk about random shit till we have chatted abit because here they emphasize alot on knowing someone before dating or whatever. Tought this might be the case, maybe im wrong. Good luck

Author:	sawyer24 [ Fri Nov 15, 2013 8:05 pm ]
Post subject:	"I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
I'm from a small town and this has come up quite a few times. I'll be trying to date a girl, feel like I'm doing an alright job. THen when I actually ask her out I get the, "oh that's nice, but I'm just not looking to date anyone right now. Its not you, blah blah." Is this just a nice way of them rejecting you? Or are they really convinced they don't want to date "right now?" I sort of get confused on what do to or say next. I've thought about asking to just hang out as friends then and go from there but that could just leave me in the dreaded friend zone. Any suggestions? Anyway to break through this? Or did I just screw up from the onset? Thanks, Sawyer

Author:	oceanx [ Fri Nov 15, 2013 10:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
From the tone it sounds like you may be waiting too long to ask them and/or being too nice with them. They want a guy that is confident and knows what he wants. When they reply with "oh that's nice" it's a red flag to me that they like you...but not in that way...which is mainly due to the way you have acted towards them since women are mirrors. If you live near a larger town best bet might be to go there once in a while to sarge girls to get good at it. The local girls will noticed your changed vibe and demeanor, believe me. The awesome thing is you are in the game swinging the bat, so don't give up. Keep learning from the guys here and keep taking action and you will be where you want to be. The reason I brought up the other cities is that not knowing how small your town is, if you game every girl in town you won't have any left to practice on.

Author:	sawyer24 [ Sat Nov 16, 2013 7:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: From the tone it sounds like you may be waiting too long to ask them and/or being too nice with them. They want a guy that is confident and knows what he wants. When they reply with "oh that's nice" it's a red flag to me that they like you...but not in that way...which is mainly due to the way you have acted towards them since women are mirrors. If you live near a larger town best bet might be to go there once in a while to sarge girls to get good at it. The local girls will noticed your changed vibe and demeanor, believe me. The awesome thing is you are in the game swinging the bat, so don't give up. Keep learning from the guys here and keep taking action and you will be where you want to be. The reason I brought up the other cities is that not knowing how small your town is, if you game every girl in town you won't have any left to practice on. That's good advice. I do indeed travel to larger surrounding cities from time to time. I think my next goal is moving out and moving on to a larger city.

Author:	kasabi [ Sun Nov 17, 2013 6:26 am ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
You are asking girls for a date instead of exciting them for the date. You are essentially 'asking' for a girlfriend without offering the fun and happiness that can be had by being your girlfriend. Think about this carefully. offer the benefits and you won't need to ask.

Author:	sawyer24 [ Mon Nov 18, 2013 2:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: You are asking girls for a date instead of exciting them for the date. You are essentially 'asking' for a girlfriend without offering the fun and happiness that can be had by being your girlfriend. Think about this carefully. offer the benefits and you won't need to ask. I think I get what your saying but could you elaborate more? What do you say to them if not, hey want to go to the movies?

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Author:	Dragula [ Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: You are asking girls for a date instead of exciting them for the date. You are essentially 'asking' for a girlfriend without offering the fun and happiness that can be had by being your girlfriend. Think about this carefully. offer the benefits and you won't need to ask. I really like this.

Author:	afcAL [ Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: I think I get what your saying but could you elaborate more? What do you say to them if not, hey want to go to the movies? This is not about delivering a "magic line", but rather creating excitement to the point when she can't get enough of you. Al

Author:	kasabi [ Mon Nov 18, 2013 9:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: Quote: You are asking girls for a date instead of exciting them for the date. You are essentially 'asking' for a girlfriend without offering the fun and happiness that can be had by being your girlfriend. Think about this carefully. offer the benefits and you won't need to ask. I think I get what your saying but could you elaborate more? What do you say to them if not, hey want to go to the movies? Hey, want to go bowling?

Author:	Wizzay [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:20 am ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Have fun and cocky flirting sessions, either trough text or in real life. Start talking about vacations and stuff and what you would do etc, (just an example). Once the comfort is high, be like yeah imma be at that club on saturday, you should come. Then have fun together etc and if all goes well you can say something like lets go to the movies. Not do you want to go? but be a bit assertive IE your going and she doesnt have a choice(only if there is enough comfort between you two).

Author:	kasabi [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 1:38 am ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
@Wizzay, NO.

Author:	Wizzay [ Tue Nov 19, 2013 9:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: @Wizzay, NO. Care to elaborate or give input? Feedback is welcome.

Author:	kasabi [ Wed Nov 20, 2013 2:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: Have fun and cocky flirting sessions, either trough text or in real life. Start talking about vacations and stuff and what you would do etc, (just an example). Once the comfort is high, be like yeah imma be at that club on saturday, you should come. Then have fun together etc and if all goes well you can say something like lets go to the movies. Not do you want to go? but be a bit assertive IE your going and she doesnt have a choice(only if there is enough comfort between you two). I am not sure where you got ^these ideas... For one thing, I often do post about 'chatting about vacations' but there is a reason for that. My reasons for bringing up "vacation ideas" is for her to get excited about it. Then ... the idea is to BRIDGE that excitement to a real life date idea that you and the girl can go on right now. For example... there is a resort you went to in Koh Samui. They had a reggae pub where girls danced in cages and they served rum punch. Then you bridge her excitement to here and now There is a club here (your local city) where girls dance in cages and they serve rum punch. This is so easy and so predictable. I mean... girls will give you a high five right there and then ask you, "When are we going?" What you recommend above is ... well... sucky... So you want to chat to a girl about the weather, some random crap, your car, the highways you took to get to the party, (hope you get reeeeaaaaal comfortable with her!) Then you wish to pounce the same old stupid question, "So you wanna go to the movie??" No... you want to be assertive so you, "You will go to the movie with me!" .... "Durh, hurh, hurh, hrh" - this really sucks man. I wrote, "So you want to go bowling," on purpose. Well, after this proposition, do you want to go bowling with me or not? Would it have made any difference if I talked to you about the weather, the highways, some tv show, or some stupid holiday/vacation ideas prior to pouncing on the question? Be serious now... How about if I just told you that the last time I went bowling, the girl's league was in town and a whole bunch of them wanted to smoke weed and suck cock so we brought them back to my place?... But sorry, we already have a team of four for this Friday.... YOU WOULD BE BEGGING my ASS to get on my fucking retarded bowling team. Do you get it? Sell the fucking product! Stop wasting time! Above all, stop begging.

Author:	Wizzay [ Sat Nov 23, 2013 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: Quote: Have fun and cocky flirting sessions, either trough text or in real life. Start talking about vacations and stuff and what you would do etc, (just an example). Once the comfort is high, be like yeah imma be at that club on saturday, you should come. Then have fun together etc and if all goes well you can say something like lets go to the movies. Not do you want to go? but be a bit assertive IE your going and she doesnt have a choice(only if there is enough comfort between you two). I am not sure where you got ^these ideas... For one thing, I often do post about 'chatting about vacations' but there is a reason for that. My reasons for bringing up "vacation ideas" is for her to get excited about it. Then ... the idea is to BRIDGE that excitement to a real life date idea that you and the girl can go on right now. For example... there is a resort you went to in Koh Samui. They had a reggae pub where girls danced in cages and they served rum punch. Then you bridge her excitement to here and now There is a club here (your local city) where girls dance in cages and they serve rum punch. This is so easy and so predictable. I mean... girls will give you a high five right there and then ask you, "When are we going?" What you recommend above is ... well... sucky... So you want to chat to a girl about the weather, some random crap, your car, the highways you took to get to the party, (hope you get reeeeaaaaal comfortable with her!) Then you wish to pounce the same old stupid question, "So you wanna go to the movie??" No... you want to be assertive so you, "You will go to the movie with me!" .... "Durh, hurh, hurh, hrh" - this really sucks man. I wrote, "So you want to go bowling," on purpose. Well, after this proposition, do you want to go bowling with me or not? Would it have made any difference if I talked to you about the weather, the highways, some tv show, or some stupid holiday/vacation ideas prior to pouncing on the question? Be serious now... How about if I just told you that the last time I went bowling, the girl's league was in town and a whole bunch of them wanted to smoke weed and suck cock so we brought them back to my place?... But sorry, we already have a team of four for this Friday.... YOU WOULD BE BEGGING my ASS to get on my fucking retarded bowling team. Do you get it? Sell the fucking product! Stop wasting time! Above all, stop begging. Well I agree with you on some points, your advice might be better. I just said how I do it over here in holland, I just talk about random shit till we have chatted abit because here they emphasize alot on knowing someone before dating or whatever. Tought this might be the case, maybe im wrong. Good luck

Author:	sawyer24 [ Mon Nov 25, 2013 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: Quote: Have fun and cocky flirting sessions, either trough text or in real life. Start talking about vacations and stuff and what you would do etc, (just an example). Once the comfort is high, be like yeah imma be at that club on saturday, you should come. Then have fun together etc and if all goes well you can say something like lets go to the movies. Not do you want to go? but be a bit assertive IE your going and she doesnt have a choice(only if there is enough comfort between you two). I am not sure where you got ^these ideas... For one thing, I often do post about 'chatting about vacations' but there is a reason for that. My reasons for bringing up "vacation ideas" is for her to get excited about it. Then ... the idea is to BRIDGE that excitement to a real life date idea that you and the girl can go on right now. For example... there is a resort you went to in Koh Samui. They had a reggae pub where girls danced in cages and they served rum punch. Then you bridge her excitement to here and now There is a club here (your local city) where girls dance in cages and they serve rum punch. This is so easy and so predictable. I mean... girls will give you a high five right there and then ask you, "When are we going?" What you recommend above is ... well... sucky... So you want to chat to a girl about the weather, some random crap, your car, the highways you took to get to the party, (hope you get reeeeaaaaal comfortable with her!) Then you wish to pounce the same old stupid question, "So you wanna go to the movie??" No... you want to be assertive so you, "You will go to the movie with me!" .... "Durh, hurh, hurh, hrh" - this really sucks man. I wrote, "So you want to go bowling," on purpose. Well, after this proposition, do you want to go bowling with me or not? Would it have made any difference if I talked to you about the weather, the highways, some tv show, or some stupid holiday/vacation ideas prior to pouncing on the question? Be serious now... How about if I just told you that the last time I went bowling, the girl's league was in town and a whole bunch of them wanted to smoke weed and suck cock so we brought them back to my place?... But sorry, we already have a team of four for this Friday.... YOU WOULD BE BEGGING my ASS to get on my fucking retarded bowling team. Do you get it? Sell the fucking product! Stop wasting time! Above all, stop begging. I could see how the vacation to bar would work. But I'm not sure how to just "be more exciting." sounds easier said than done. I mean how do you sell going out to dinner and the movies, without bragging or coming off coincided?

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Author:	kasabi [ Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:32 am ]
Post subject:	Re: "I'm not looking to date anyone right now."
Quote: Well I agree with you on some points, your advice might be better. I just said how I do it over here in holland, I just talk about random shit till we have chatted abit because here they emphasize alot on knowing someone before dating or whatever. Tought this might be the case, maybe im wrong. Good luck My written language was mean-spirited so I apologize... here's a clarification: In pick up, as is with any endeavor that is goal-oriented, there should be no such thing as "random". Random = nothing. Random = bullshit. Random has no focus. You know your friend's mother really well but it doesn't mean you want to fuck her. "Pick up" = 1. Meet. 2. Create attraction. 3. Capitalize on the attraction. Random chats do not help you with any of the above goals.