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| Problem Approaching Girls Within My Same Vicinity https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=171426 |
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| Author: | super.sonic [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 5:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Problem Approaching Girls Within My Same Vicinity |
It's been an ongoing problem for a year now since the last girl that I dumped. She was an intern on the office were I trained before. To put it in details would be a long story, So I'm gonna skip it. Let's just say it didn't end well. It was traumatic. Fast forward today... Campus, yes I'm still a student. It seems that I'm afraid to pull the trigger to open girls within the same area that I go. As if I'm afraid of judgement or rejection. It's like I'm protecting my name/ego/identity. I dunno man, but it's bugging me. What pisses me more now, is that a while ago, walking towards the cafeteria, a group of 3 girls and 1 gay was seated and there's this girl on their group showing massive approach invitation and IOIs. I heard her friends and her talking about me, they were like one table from us, so of course I would hear it. She even volunteered to get the spoon and fork because it was beside me, she's eyeing me, she keeps hiding her smile while walking towards me, she cant resist, her friends cheered her quietly but I could still hear them. And... I did not do anything besides giving her a fake smile and an eye contact. When she was seated I caught them peeking at me. When me and my friend was done eating, we got out of the cafeteria, She and her friend stand up too while some of her friends are seated. I heard her say to her friends that are seated that she'll be back. She's trying to force me to open her, and I did not man up to pull the trigger. I ignored her. WTF is wrong with me? fuckin 100% AFC chump mode... damn! It has happened many times now... in campus. I can't pull the trigger to approach them. I dunno but most girls that walks towards me is eyeing me. Some smile, some tries to hide it, not just in campus but in malls, clubs... etc. I could open them If not within campus. But In campus, I always fail to pull the trigger. I wish they're the one doing the open. Easy work. Teach me to man up guys, what's my problem? Curse me, crucify me or whatever you want to do to me. Just man me up. |
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| Author: | StuDuck [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 6:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Problem Approaching Girls Within My Same Vicinity |
You are feeling approach anxiety. This is something that is hard wired into every guy. In caveman times if you approached the wrong girl the leader of your tribe might come and kill you. So your ancestors developed a survival mechanism called approach anxiety which is there to make you stop and think before approaching a girl. Also rejection from one girl usually means rejection from her friends, in caveman times her friends represented the rest of the available women in your tribe, so again aproach anxiety is there to make you stop and really think. This means that this feeling is normal, it alos means it will never go away. You can become more desensitised to it but its always going to be there. So how do you desensitise yourself? First get used to your location, if your going to be hanging out in the camus bars, go there a few times with your buddies just to get used to the location ( strange locations also bring on a survival anxiety ). Next pick a few short openers which are simple non-sexual conversation starters and approach 10 women a day using these openers. Talk for a bit then move on. 2 weeks time thats easily 100 conversation openers under your belt. Approach anxiety should now be as low as it will ever go. It will still be there but it will be reduced. |
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| Author: | HSP [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Problem Approaching Girls Within My Same Vicinity |
I understand that feeling better than you think. Being in an environment where a traumatizing event took place that seems to just slow you down at basically everything you do at the area. I can tell you that there is hope you just need to take this first step, in your case it is this girl or even any other girl you can find. You just need to make a new connection that is awesome enough to cover up your bad one. It really can go away as soon as you move forward. So go out there and get something going for yourself. Isolate this girl and NEG her for always staring at you, find out her name. Walking is a lot easier when you get back up on your feet. |
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| Author: | super.sonic [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Problem Approaching Girls Within My Same Vicinity |
Quote: You are feeling approach anxiety.
Thanks for the advice... the other thing that's bugging me and holding me back is that this campus that I'm talking about has a small community probably 400-600 people. It seems that anyone could know anyone and I think it's all in my head. Social Conditioning, Fear, Anxiety... some stuff, I know the cure was to approach, my mind wants to but my body won't move.
This is something that is hard wired into every guy. In caveman times if you approached the wrong girl the leader of your tribe might come and kill you. So your ancestors developed a survival mechanism called approach anxiety which is there to make you stop and think before approaching a girl. Also rejection from one girl usually means rejection from her friends, in caveman times her friends represented the rest of the available women in your tribe, so again aproach anxiety is there to make you stop and really think. This means that this feeling is normal, it alos means it will never go away. You can become more desensitised to it but its always going to be there. So how do you desensitise yourself? First get used to your location, if your going to be hanging out in the camus bars, go there a few times with your buddies just to get used to the location ( strange locations also bring on a survival anxiety ). Next pick a few short openers which are simple non-sexual conversation starters and approach 10 women a day using these openers. Talk for a bit then move on. 2 weeks time thats easily 100 conversation openers under your belt. Approach anxiety should now be as low as it will ever go. It will still be there but it will be reduced. |
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| Author: | super.sonic [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Problem Approaching Girls Within My Same Vicinity |
Quote: I understand that feeling better than you think. Being in an environment where a traumatizing event took place that seems to just slow you down at basically everything you do at the area. I can tell you that there is hope you just need to take this first step, in your case it is this girl or even any other girl you can find. You just need to make a new connection that is awesome enough to cover up your bad one. It really can go away as soon as you move forward. So go out there and get something going for yourself. Isolate this girl and NEG her for always staring at you, find out her name. Walking is a lot easier when you get back up on your feet.
The girl from before was from a different vicinity/area from this today's girl. It seems that everywhere where I could be known, I'm afraid to approach. It's really disturbing, since when I'm outside I can approach anyone. It's like I'm protecting my image, which all I know is only in my head. Anyway, thanks for your advice... I will do it. |
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