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The Fear of Action.
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Author:  Pad120 [ Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:43 pm ]
Post subject:  The Fear of Action.
Hey guys,

So I am having a problem, I essentially have a fear of taking action. By a fear of action I mean making a move, saying something and just coming out of my comfort zone in general. I know exactly what I want to say and do but once the opportunity comes I never put the plan into action. In the moment I always seem to convince myself not to, whether it is telling myself "oh that is risky" or "What I am doing now is fine" (it never is).

This causes me to move at a slugs pace which I know is coming off very weak to girls. I want to be bold and do something drastic so I will come off as a very strong person. It has always bothered me, but now there is someone I really want and I feel like I am going to miss the opportunity. I am in so way worried about coming off as cheesy or too forward and I know the rules as to what to not do when going for a kiss etc.

So what I am asking from you guys is any links, information sources, things you do to convince yourself to take action. Anything you guys could offer would be great.

Thanks in advance.

PS. Not sure if this should be in inner game or here sorry.
Author:  didier-oke [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 8:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Fear of Action.
Quote:
This causes me to move at a slugs pace which I know is coming off very weak to girls. I want to be bold and do something drastic so I will come off as a very strong person. It has always bothered me, but now there is someone I really want and I feel like I am going to miss the opportunity. I am in so way worried about coming off as cheesy or too forward and I know the rules as to what to not do when going for a kiss etc.
This may sound harsh but when you are thinking of what to do next with a specific girl you already lost her.
Quote:
So I am having a problem, I essentially have a fear of taking action. By a fear of action I mean making a move, saying something and just coming out of my comfort zone in general. I know exactly what I want to say and do but once the opportunity comes I never put the plan into action. In the moment I always seem to convince myself not to, whether it is telling myself "oh that is risky" or "What I am doing now is fine" (it never is).
What you need to do is make momentum. Talk to women as much as you can so it becomes a habit to take action and comes of natural.
Quote:
So what I am asking from you guys is any links, information sources, things you do to convince yourself to take action. Anything you guys could offer would be great.
This one helps me get out of the house every single time. Put it on your favorites so you see it every time you open your internet browser. http://sidsavara.com/start-pages/motiva ... ersistence
Author:  OG_PlMP [ Sun Sep 15, 2013 10:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Fear of Action.
Kino is the key. I don't have this issue any more but when I first started gaming I used to have the same exact problem. Take it in baby steps. Think of it this way, if she is alone with you on a date, she'll expect you to make a move as that's what guys do when they're on a date with someone. If you aren't on a date (i.e. you just met her), then you have nothing to lose because if she turns you down, you'll never see her again.

The first thing you should do is light arm touches. Do this 3-4 times to set the frame that you're a touchy guy and it is just normal for you. After building some attraction and touching her arm, just grab her hand. This was always the sticking point I had when I was younger. For this, you just have to do it. Not much I can say to help you with this part other than put your arm over hers instead of under, and intertwine fingers when you hold hands.

After she lets you hold her hand, its a piece of cake. Hold her hand for a bit and eventually let go and put your arm around her. This is where I like to start talking much less and when she asks you questions answer them in a very closed-ended way. Once she finally goes quiet I just grab her cheek with my other hand and pull her in for a kiss.

If you're doing this with a girl you just met, isolate her from her friends before holding her hand. If she's with her friends her anti-slut defense will be there and she won't want to do anything that she wouldn't do with some guy whose friendzoned. Plus you don't have to worry about them cockblocking.

If you guys are kissing and start making out a bit be sure to be the one who pulls away first and say to her "lets get outta here" and take her to a secluded location where you can fuck.
Author:  pickupenthusiast [ Mon Sep 16, 2013 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Fear of Action.
I think the problem is that you're too afraid of failing. You need to get rid of this fear otherwise you won't make it. Failing/Losing is very important if you want to improve. Everytime you fail you gain experience in that you realize what to do better next time. That way you steadily improve. It's a very painful process but it's the way you have to go. I personally failed hundreds of times before I finally got better. I've been rejected so many times that I've stopped counting ^^
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