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| Decision making once living PUA https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=155333 |
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| Author: | harkachu [ Tue Jan 22, 2013 12:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Decision making once living PUA |
How do you decide when to stop living the PUA lifestyle or when to keep it up? First a bit of back story: I got into PUA after breaking up with a long term girlfriend that I had planned to settle down with. It was mainly as a tool to try to prevent oneitis from taking a hold. And for the most part it worked. Initially. In the space of 2 months and completely throwing myself into the lifestyle I had 5 girls on the go. And yeah it was great. I was very active, working out, playing sports, and having sex pretty much whenever I wanted from which ever girl I felt like. It was a massive relief to go from being a bit needy at the end of my relationship to completely embracing the "he who cares least, controls the relationship" philosophy. I had successfully extracated myself from anything to do with my exgf. Unsubscribed from all social media feeds to do with her (can't recommend this enough!), and never saw her. Meanwhile I had been sleeping with a fairly hot swedish chick 7.5, and setting up a hotter girl 8.5-9 I used to work with, for a friends with benefits deal. Awesomely enough she clarified the friends with benefits status with me before I had a chance to eschew her away from any potential relationship pigeon hole, so to speak. All the while, while being my bestest version of myself I had garnered the attentions of the office bombshell 9-9.5, through off the cuff remarks about when I used to horse ride (she's a horsey girl). So to my sticking point. My decision making regarding which girls to keep things going with. I don't know where to go from here. Having gone through all this massive life changing year (which incidentally included getting a fantastic new job with a much higher salary and moving to a more gentrified part of town). I'm now wondering if what I thought was oneitis for my exgf is actually something more. What has brought this on? She has started trying to initiate contact with me again. Quite a few texts over Christmas Eve/Day/Boxing Day and even on New Years Eve at midnight. Followed by a friendly phone call. To put it into context, she had just split up with her rebound bf (from after our relationship). So I initially put this down to her seeking validation, which seemed logical. But then they got back together a couple of weeks later, however her messaging to me continued... Further context to this is that the rebound bf is going travelling for 6 months in March, so once again is this just her preping the way for trying to initiate me into orbiting her for her ego boosting validation? I feel like I have fallen off the oneitis wagon. Which baffles me as I have been doing everything right as far as I can see. I still have the 3 other girls I mentioned that I can pretty much go out with and sleep with whenever I want. A final bit of context; the reason I broke up with my exgf was my inactivity in not sorting my job situation out and her losing attraction. Is her new attraction a result of me turning my life around or a result of her getting rid of/losing rebound guy? I'm now to the point where part of me is wanting to jack it all in and start a fresh having had no girls attentions for a while. I'm focussing on life goals and aims in the meantime, so that I'm constantly busy, but I feel like I will have to make some decisions soon... TL:DR Decision making gone haywire. Broke up with long term gf. Turned life around. Lived PUA for nearly a year with excellent results. Can't decide where to take it. Exgf gets back in contact, not sure of motives. Possible oneitis, or maybe not. |
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| Author: | TheFuckingItalian [ Tue Jan 22, 2013 5:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Decision making once living PUA |
Your story is actually very inspiring, except for the one-itis part of course... Anyway, at the end of the day, in the bottom of your heart, I think you know what you want. And it is not your ex. She is part of a past that, somehow, is going to come back and bite you in the ass. I would say, if you want to fuck your ex, go ahead. I really really doubt you'll fall in oneitis again. Most likey you'll realize your ex is just an other simple girl, with all the common problem and maybe some good quality. And you can do much much better than that! Have fun with your life and block her number/email if you have to! For sure you don't want to be part of the Drama Plot is going to pan out with her new bf situation and stuff! Good luck man |
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| Author: | _Lothario_ [ Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Decision making once living PUA |
If you get back with your ex, you are giving her your power. If she is talking to you while with someone else, of course it is going to tug on you a bit, but looking at it logically you should be able to see that she is disqualifying herself. If you get back with her she is just going to treat you how she is treating him, because she is insecure and obviously needs a relationship all the time. If she could see the big picture, she might realize that those six months could be her time to be alone and work on herself with the security of knowing that someone, however far away, cares about her. (not that i agree with long distance relationships) But seriously, why would you go back to a girl who can't show loyalty to someone else? If she needs to talk to you, she should break up with him first, not depending on your decision to do so. |
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