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Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
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Author:  Justme123 [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
oke,

So i am able to open, i'm able kino, i'm able to numberclose, i'm able to kiss close. In the past 2 yea kir's i collected hundred's of numbers, and made at least as many kiss closes ( makeout). I even managed to pull off a instant kiss close.

But...

This happened a vew times now with different girls.

it's late at night, i'm a bit tipsy, the girl is tipsy, we lay in bed, and this is where i get nervous.. I always freak out at this point, and i don't know why. I start to get nervous as hell, and won't be able to get a erection because of this. I really want this but i some how keep sabotaging myself with this stupid mindtwist i somehow managed too get.

Last time this happened i was in a hotel room with 2 russian girls, one girl was actually saying 'Please ( my real name), Fuck ( insert girls name) " It was possible to get a threesome, this is supposed to be every men's dream, yet i fuck this up ( bad choise of words lol).

Also i'm very nervous about my prestation in bed, as i'm getting older and still have very little experience because of the above situation. I'm 23 years old now, i shouldnt have this problems as i know for a fact that a lot of girls are in to me.

I just can't seem to pull the final trigger..

If anyone knows how i can overcome this the next time, or has some tips or similar experience..

please help me..

Also, if you want any extra information, just ask
Author:  puaninja [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
Are you still a virgin?
Author:  Justme123 [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
yes, cause of the above situation. It happens all the time.. Every girl i end up with in bed, are girls that i really have feelings for, wich puts more pressure on me to preform, cause if i wont i'm afraid they will leave me, thus causing me to fail..

I dont really like the idea of having sex with girls that i have no feelings for at all.
Author:  puaninja [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
Ok, this is more serious than I thought then. You are having first time performance anxiety. And apparently a really bad case of it. This may be beyond my scope of expertise. Let's see what others say...
Author:  Justme123 [ Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
I have searched for this first time performance anxiety, and think this might be a related to my chronic hyperventilation.. If this is true, than i indeed do have a big problem as i´m trying to get rid of this for over 2 years now.
Author:  Justme123 [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
Anyone?
Author:  puaninja [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 12:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
WTH? Nobobdy else was willing to chime in here to help this guy?

Sorry bro. I'm just kind of at a loss here. I mean, what type of fear are you experiencing that you think is causing you to freeze up and become intimidated? Describe what it feels like.
Author:  Justme123 [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 1:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
The fear that i will do everything wrong that could possibly go wrong, get blamed for it, get laughed at, that they will tell girlfriends, story get's round in town etc. I just get completely paranoid, and i can't seem to figure out why..
Author:  puaninja [ Wed Jan 09, 2013 2:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
That's a self-generated, self-limiting belief that you have. Just like that movie "Carrie". Her mom tells her "They're all gonna' laugh at you! They're all gonna' laugh at you!" in order to crush her emotional confidence. But that is an unjustified belief and you are being unrealistic, not to mention too hard on yourself.

I remember when I was still a virgin. I was attracted to girls and was horny, but when it came time to actually penetrate I wasn't confident. I expected it to slide right in, or for them to guide me in, and when it didn't fit perfectly, I kind of abandoned ship. One girl I actually just dry-fucked her pussy without penetrating. I was too nervous to try and jam it in there for the first time. I didn't realize that I need to finger her real good to get her wet before slipping it in, or lubing up my dick with some KY first. That knowledge comes with experience.
Author:  8eighths [ Mon Jan 14, 2013 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
Well I have a somewhat similar experience, hopefully it can help a little.
I was 21 before I ever slept with a woman and I had some of the same feelings, being worried that I wouldn't know what to do or that I wouldn't be good or whatever else. What I did to overcome this was to focus almost entirely on trying to make her feel good and not even think about sex initially. By this I mean when you lying in bed with her maybe start giving her a massage, then transition into foreplay and take your time here! If you warm her up and excite her enough she's going to eventually be begging for you to fuck her. At this point even if you don't last too long or aren't the best lay she's ever had she won't be laughing at you, she will be thanking you and will appreciate that you took the time to make sure she enjoyed herself.
Author:  Justme123 [ Mon Feb 04, 2013 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
It happened again last weekend :(
Now this girl told me that she wanted to talk with me about what happened, i'll be meeting her again in 12 day's.
Should i tell her the above situation or would it ruin everything for me?
I'm doubting as i think it can go 2 way's.. Or she understand's my problem and helps me to get rid of this, or she moves on, and i'm left again.

I tried the extra long foreplay btw, but this resulted me in enjoying it at first, than starting to lose the erection again, making me nervous if i was able to get it up again, wich resulted in me failing again:S

Any advice how to make the best of this convo? things i should or shouldn't say?
Author:  Bacchvs [ Mon Feb 04, 2013 5:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
Okay there are some things you can do:

There is a possibility of a low testosterone in your body, in this case adjust your lifestyle. That means eat foods with zinc, quit smoking, swim and maybe some lifting. This means also to bring wanking down to a minimum (try this and see your urge to fuck rise).

There is also the mental bead down by porn on the internet, that's not reality and try not to compare yourself with them.

There are three things that correlate with sex: body, mind and social. Personally I think your issue is the mind. There is some blockade in your brain which freezes you up. This is fear. I think its also very important to be open with this towards woman. Woman are caring and emotional and they gladly help.

Try also to make an erection journal. When is Johnny at its peak, write down morning/evening erections etc. And rate the erection. This can determine if your testosterone is good.

Also pick up meditation and learn to be in the moment. And when your with a girl try to smell, feel and see her without judging. I'll try to post again since I don't have a lot of time now.

Bacchvs
Author:  Justme123 [ Mon Feb 04, 2013 6:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
I only drink during the weekends on saturday night when going out, I run at least 45 km a week. I only masturbate on sunday. I eat healthy. I have daily morning wood. So i don't think it has anything to do with my testosterone.

I only have this problems when i'm getting close with a woman in bed.
Author:  Bacchvs [ Mon Feb 04, 2013 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
Okay you have something really crucial here: somebody wants to talk about it with you. (I just reread some post reply's of you). Be open to this girl and ask her for help. I am so sure that they would love to help you explore your sexuality, if not this girl isn't even worth. But try to be open man.
Author:  Justme123 [ Tue Feb 05, 2013 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Pulling the trigger ( Please, i really need help here)
I hope you are right... Anything i should avoid during this conversation or should or should not mention?

Thank you in advance
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