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My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
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Author:  PUA-InTraining [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
My conversion ratio for getting day 2's is appalling... probably like 1-5%. I can meet a girl, k-close her, sometimes f-close her, but striking up a conversation or date with her afterwards results in a fizzle-out 95+% of the time, so I'm definitely doing something wrong.

It's most likely that I'm just doing something stupid, but I have a few questions:

Question 1) How long do you wait between texts?
I've read that you should wait at least 15 minutes between text messages, but does this mean EVERY single text message, or just every conversation thread? So for example, is this correct?:

Me: "OMG You're not going to believe what happened last night!"
Her: "Who's this?"
Me: [+15m]: "PUA-InTraining"
Her: "Ohh hey what's up?"
Me: [+15m]: blah blah blah
Her: "something something"
Me: [+15m]: blah blah blah

Or is it supposed to be:

Me: OPENER
Her: Response
Me: [+15m or hours or whatever... copy her response time]
Her: Reply
Me: reply
Her: Reply
Me: Reply

[new conversation...]
Me: RE-OPENER
Her: Response
Me: [+15m or hours or whatever... copy her response time]
Her: Reply
Me: reply
Her: Reply
Me: Reply


I feel like when I wait at least 15 minutes to respond to every single text message, the conversation just fizzles out. Perhaps I need to say more interesting stuff? This is difficult for me because I have a very dry/sarcastic humor that doesn't transfer well to text messages. Maybe I should just be genuine in text, and keep the humor to in-person?

I also don't really know any good material to say after the opener. Its possible I'm trying to arrange a date with the girl too quickly after opening, probably because I have no idea when she's ready to escalate (I have no body language to read). If I just go ahead and ask her anyways, "I'm going to the bar tomorrow, you should come" I'll get some hemming and hawing or a "Maybe - I'll call you tomorrow" and get no phone call.

Question 2) What is a good response to "who's this?"

I've tried stuff like:
-"Oh sorry wrong [girl's name I'm texting]"
-Ridiculous character. "God. I decided not to end the world today. You can thank me later" - perhaps this just isn't funny.
-"Guess" - it eventually fizzles out, because I don't know how to keep her engaged.


If PUAs could give me some examples of what they send for a first text and ensuing conversation, I think this would be extremely helpful!

Question 3) What do you put in their phone for yourself?
I've been told a good way to get over the "who's this" is to put yourself in their phone. Any suggestions? I used to do this as "Booty call / PUA-InTraining" or something like that, but haven't tried it in years. And how does the process go? I ask her for her number, and then I put it in my phone and send her a text? What should the text say? I just don't know what the correct format for the number close is. Even when she's giving me her number, she doesn't have mine so I'll get the "Who's this?" text after.

If anyone have any successful conversations that have led up to a meet & f-close, it'd be a huge help to see these!

Thank you!
Author:  AmazingArt [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Answer# 1. The reason why waiting till you reply texts is good because it shows your busy. It show's that you don't value girls so much because you can get them anytime you want. At least that's the perception girls have. If however you really do care about this girl and don't think that you can get girls anytime you want you're texts will sub-communicate that. The solution is to go out more and build a life where you do have an abundance of girls. This way you will naturally reply late and not because you want her to think you're cool.

Answer #2. When a girl texts "who's this" the best way to reply is by being playful. I would say something like "it's superman" or some other ridiculous shit.

Answer #3. It really doesn't make a difference. You can put in whatever you find funny. Disregard what the outcome will be. Disregard what the girls reaction will be and just put 100% of your personality on the line.
Author:  PUA-InTraining [ Sat Dec 22, 2012 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Thanks for the tips. This is helpful in understanding why its done.
Author:  PadawanLearner [ Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Quote:
Question 1) How long do you wait between texts?
Spread them throughout the day. Forget about that 15 min rule and send the messages at random intervals if you want to. Stop caring if she answers. But don't get lost in long conversations, the purpose is to set up a meeting fast.
Quote:
Question 2) What is a good response to "who's this?"
If you start the texting anyway, you could start by introducing yourself again. Make sure to mention some element in your interaction that makes her remember the emotional connection from the meeting.
If you feel introducing yourself isn't necessary and she still asks, it's either a dead set or a joke.
Author:  relaxed [ Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Question 1) How long do you wait between texts?
I average about an hour. I'm not a huge texter anyway, I'll read my message than put my phone back in my pocket until I pull it out randomly later and respond. I don't really want to respond to most texts usually because texting is so useless. I feel like everything I could try to do over text I should be doing in person or at least on a phone call/SPAM.

Question 2) What is a good response to "who's this?"
I actually treat this like a normal question and not a shit test, but some guys insist it's a test. I think it's ridiculous to assume that's a test. I actually have a text example in my phone at the moment of a conversation I had with a girl a week ago. We ended up having sex on friday, but I attribute none of that to my text game. I don't even have a text game. Not a huge texter. lol.
4:05pm Me: Yo
4:43pm Her: Whos this
5:32pm Me: david
5:34pm Her: Oh heyy C: Sorry I was at work

Question 3) What do you put in their phone for yourself?
I'm usually saved as whatever they put in for my name, although there have been a few times where I added in a smiley or a heart next to my name in their contacts just for something to do in those moments where you grab their phone and make them beg for it back, or they go to the bathroom and leave their phone and you want to freak them out when they see you on it. Haha.
Author:  lespauldude [ Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
1. Doesn't matter. Just don't text instantly back and don't wait forever to text back.
2. And 3. This usually won't be a big problem if you're memorable enough. However, the right way to give her your number would be to have her give you a missed call or vice versa. Then after leaving text her "hi so and so d on't lose this text bc it is the most important number in the entire world. - your name." this will ensure she remembers you and an expectation of great things to come.
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Fri Dec 28, 2012 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
I'm going to drop some real natural game for you guys here.

Everyone treats gaming women like there's some magical chemistry formula. You follow these exact procedures, say these exact lines, calculate some random exact numbers through the day... Bullshit. Your first question, you ask how long after a text you should respond? The answer: When you can. It will ruin the flow of conversation to create arbitrary breaks at some made up number interval. You mentioned that the conversation seemed to fizzle out, and you're right. That's what's going to happen. Would you do that in-person? Wait thirty seconds after someone says something to you before you respond? That's stupid. On the flip side, most people today drop everything they're doing and start grabbing after that little radioactive box in their pocket the instant it makes fun noises. Just the other day, I was talking with a buddy of mine and my sister and no joke, every five seconds, one of their phones would go off, they would tune out and answer it. They prioritized the text over real life. What should have been a 3 minute conversation turned into an 8 minute ordeal, because I had to keep repeating everything I was saying.

I got a text from a girl two minutes in (or whatever). The way I handled it was that I finished what I was doing (talking to the people in front of me), and then when we were done, and were getting into my car, then I checked and responded to the message. She sent back an instant reply, I replied back instantly, then we started to drive, so whatever texts she sent me had to wait until we arrived at our next destination.

Be interesting. Don't be the dude who just sits at home and has nothing to do but count out time frames for when he should respond to texts. Go do something, anything, and just follow the rule of not changing what you're doing just to respond immediately. But if you can respond, do. Do so As Soon As Possible.

Who's this? Yo mamma. Nah, seriously, anything's fine here. Depends on the girl more than anything.

I've never put myself in a girl's phone...
Author:  Versalis [ Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Basically, you want to stay engaged. Immediately responding is not a problem if you initiated things. If she texted me, I probably wouldn't hit her back immediately. But even two minutes is plenty of time. I mean, what you're trying to do is get her in a quick, fun conversation that lasts a few minutes and then ask her out. That's best done all at once. It takes 3-4 minutes at max and few people are soooo busy that they don't have five minutes in their day. When you play the "not gonna reply" game, it tends to make her think you're either trying to impress her with indifference or that you're inattentive and easily forget her. None of that works in your favor.
Author:  Sticksmith [ Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Quote:
My conversion ratio for getting day 2's is appalling... probably like 1-5%. I can meet a girl, k-close her, sometimes f-close her, but striking up a conversation or date with her afterwards results in a fizzle-out 95+% of the time, so I'm definitely doing something wrong.

It's most likely that I'm just doing something stupid, but I have a few questions:

Question 1) How long do you wait between texts?
I've read that you should wait at least 15 minutes between text messages, but does this mean EVERY single text message, or just every conversation thread? So for example, is this correct?:

Me: "OMG You're not going to believe what happened last night!"
Her: "Who's this?"
Me: [+15m]: "PUA-InTraining"
Her: "Ohh hey what's up?"
Me: [+15m]: blah blah blah
Her: "something something"
Me: [+15m]: blah blah blah

Or is it supposed to be:

Me: OPENER
Her: Response
Me: [+15m or hours or whatever... copy her response time]
Her: Reply
Me: reply
Her: Reply
Me: Reply

[new conversation...]
Me: RE-OPENER
Her: Response
Me: [+15m or hours or whatever... copy her response time]
Her: Reply
Me: reply
Her: Reply
Me: Reply


I feel like when I wait at least 15 minutes to respond to every single text message, the conversation just fizzles out. Perhaps I need to say more interesting stuff? This is difficult for me because I have a very dry/sarcastic humor that doesn't transfer well to text messages. Maybe I should just be genuine in text, and keep the humor to in-person?

I also don't really know any good material to say after the opener. Its possible I'm trying to arrange a date with the girl too quickly after opening, probably because I have no idea when she's ready to escalate (I have no body language to read). If I just go ahead and ask her anyways, "I'm going to the bar tomorrow, you should come" I'll get some hemming and hawing or a "Maybe - I'll call you tomorrow" and get no phone call.

Question 2) What is a good response to "who's this?"

I've tried stuff like:
-"Oh sorry wrong [girl's name I'm texting]"
-Ridiculous character. "God. I decided not to end the world today. You can thank me later" - perhaps this just isn't funny.
-"Guess" - it eventually fizzles out, because I don't know how to keep her engaged.


If PUAs could give me some examples of what they send for a first text and ensuing conversation, I think this would be extremely helpful!

Question 3) What do you put in their phone for yourself?
I've been told a good way to get over the "who's this" is to put yourself in their phone. Any suggestions? I used to do this as "Booty call / PUA-InTraining" or something like that, but haven't tried it in years. And how does the process go? I ask her for her number, and then I put it in my phone and send her a text? What should the text say? I just don't know what the correct format for the number close is. Even when she's giving me her number, she doesn't have mine so I'll get the "Who's this?" text after.

If anyone have any successful conversations that have led up to a meet & f-close, it'd be a huge help to see these!

Thank you!
Question 1: I wait till I'm not busy. If I'm at work, I wait till it's quiet. If I'm walking somewhere, I text when I'm inside. Don't think much of leaving them hangin for a little bit but leaving it 15 minutes every time is a bit gay (no offence). That's stupid girly bullcrap and you shouldn't be doing it. The main point is don't reply within 30 seconds cuz she may think that you're sitting there like a lost puppy waiting for her texts, even if you are :P

Question 2: At this point she's trying to figure out if you're someone she wants to text or not. Hot girls get texts from people they ignore all the time. The objective is don't get ignored. Out of your 3 opening texts, only the third is a good idea. The first is easily ignored, and though the second is pretty funny she may easily ignore that too. If you're asking what I do, I open with 'Guess who!'. If she says she doesn't know, I say 'You may ask me three questions and three questions only.' Boom, engaged. If she gets it right, I say something like 'Damn, you're good' and the conversation goes from there. I flirt and tease her, just like a regular conversation, without being too full on. Think minimalism. Show a little intellect, show a little humour, show a little flirtiness and show a little cockiness but never too much of either. The goal isn't a text saying 'I want you so bad Sticksmith'. The goal is having a bit of fun and eventually meeting up when the time is right. Texting is nothing compared to real life, remember that. Even if you have her eating out of the palm of your hand over the phone, if you can't show the same side of you in real life you aren't gonna get far.

Question 3: I don't normally text straight her straight away cuz it takes the fun out of the guessing game, however you could call her right there and then, and have a silly conversation or something. I tried telling the girl to let it ring to answer phone, and leaving a message however the first and last 5 times I've tried it, she either can't ring her voicemail so it's pointless, doesn't have answer phone enabled so it's pointless, or I couldn't hear the goddamn phone cuz it was too loud. I don't bother any more. I simply look her in the eyes, smile while I say 'I should get back to my friends, I'll see ya later'. Though I'm not saying anything particularly amazing, the way I do it shows I'm relaxed, I'm confident, I'm loyal to my friends, I'm not needy or annoying and I'm not wetting myself cuz I scored a hot chicks number.

As for the real life conversation, examine your behaviour and see if you're turning them off by talking too much, talking about yourself too much, being too cocky, being too offensive, being too open, or being too needy or annoying or blah blah blah cuz any one of those things can put a chick off, depending on her personality, and it's just something you learn through experience.

I know it's a long answer but I hope it helps :)
Author:  PUA-InTraining [ Tue Jan 01, 2013 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Thanks for all of the suggestions! It sounds like there really isn't a universal consensus on what/how to text, but there are some common themes here. I'm going to try several of these methods, vary what I do, and see what works best for me.
Author:  PUA-InTraining [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 5:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Quote:
I'm going on a hunch here but from a few of the examples you offer it seems that you aren't giving these chicks much of a reason to meet up with you for the day 2 . Next time , consider how she could benefit from spending time with you , and how you are going to demonstrate that to her in the time-frame of your interaction(s) . This could possibly mean she digs that you're a funny , cool guy . Perhaps she is a tourist , and you know the city night life like the back of your hand . Or better yet , she likes to play recreational tennis and you are a good player .
Thanks Da, I think you might be spot on here! This is probably what I'm missing!

I just watched two videos I thought were helpful on this subject:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3U2kLPdgCY0 - patterns in texting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KriZHsiiYPg - Making a girl invest in you

I think this info and the feedback posted will really help me out!
Author:  Speeeeeedy [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
You're over-analyzing this.

I agree with everything 'TheFreshPrince' said (fantastic post, man). The only reason you would wait to text her back is because you're worried about her losing interest if you reply right away, because you think that's a DLV... right?

Not necessarily.

There's other ways to keep her interested. There's not really any general formula that works for every single girl (come on now, that wouldn't be any fun, would it?) You need to use your natural game, and this will depend on her personality.

To answer you're questions, I use the concept of 'Maturity Levels' to gauge what type of humour will work with each girl. I saved my name in a one of the girls phone I met over the summer as 'AmazingSexyLoveOfMyLife'. This hit right with her humour, where as other girls may not find that funny at all.

Saving your name in her phone as something like this is an example of NLP. Try out similar ones and see what works best with you, and it also avoids her asking that question *"Who's this?" I believe this worked, she was telling she 'Loved me' in less than a month.

Generally if this is a K-close with the number, I would follow the '3 day rule'. Text her after 3 days (unless she texts you first, in which case, don't be a dick) talk, however I generally wouldn't arrange to meet her until you've talked for a bit, give it a day or two.

So in short, I personally use humour in texting. Not 'toying with her for my own amusement' because that's not fun for her- she needs to be enjoying herself as well. You'll get better at this over time, it's like any skill, it will take practice. Try different things out, and most importantly, don't take anything emotionally. Feel free to email me, I would love to hear how you get on.

Keep in mind the old motto: If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten.

*Fun thing to do:
YOU: "Who's this?"
HER: "[blah blah!]!"
YOU: "I know, I'm just being an ass :')"
Author:  Adapting Love [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 11:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
You want a good advice? That will genuinely help?

You must change the pattern, at all times - especially when she snags along and try to copy your space inbetween.

You: *Opening*
Her: *Reply:
Wait, for instance, three minutes (or 15 minutes, whatever you want)
You: *Reply*

If she then, after your reply, responds quickly (like you just did) you can be busy and build suspense with a 15-20 minutes of waiting. The point is, you always do the opposite of her - and if she does the same thing, change up the pattern either by timeframe or texting (suddenly you meet a friend who is (joking:) "more desperate for your body than she is, so you write that you'll text her back later - but don't. Make her wonder, at all times, what you are doing - especially when you are texting her.

Don't write obvious jealousy-screaming messages, though, like "Haha, suddenly i met three of my best female friends and now i have to go shopping. I will text later".

Why is that obvious? Because you mentioned amount of people/female friends and what role they hade in your life (best female friend). This is not something she either wants or needs to know, and that is obvious to me and you, and her. The only thing that would pass, is that you tell her WHY you won't text her futher without actually saying that - then it will pass as a notification from your part, and the fact that you don't text her back will let her know that you can have plenty of fun without her, and that you had so much fun that you simply forgot to text her back. And that the reason you didn't text her back might be because you and this girl you met might like eachother very well. She will simply wonder: "I wonder if that girl was a good friend or if there could be something more".

How to make it work? Obviously, you must be in a conversation with her before you can use this closing (like at least 2-5 texts back and forth);

"Haha, I just ran into a friend of mine and now it is my duty to keep her at bay as she embarks on this mall - i know you girls; can go mad over a jumper. I'll text you later.

Now you've given her your notification, you indirectly tell her subconcious mind that you are experienced with girls and know them throughout (with the "- i know you girls; can go mad over a jumper") and you tell her you'll text her later. She will now await a message from you, and that will pop into her head several times all day if you've built attraction (and especially rapport as well).

And, as I mentioned up above; "the fact that you don't text her back will let her know that you can have plenty of fun without her, and that you had so much fun that you simply forgot to text her back. She will also think "I wonder if that girl was a good friend or if there could be something more".

Win-win!

This will do you wonders as a closing! ;)
Author:  Speeeeeedy [ Wed Jan 02, 2013 11:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Quote:

And, as I mentioned up above; "the fact that you don't text her back will let her know that you can have plenty of fun without her, and that you had so much fun that you simply forgot to text her back. She will also think "I wonder if that girl was a good friend or if there could be something more".
Read the posts above.

You shouldn't have to wait. This is not something you can fake. Reply to hear unless you actually have a reason not too, or she will sense that you're bullshitting. This is probably the sole and only reason why you perceive your texting game as 'horrible'.
Author:  Zeus101 [ Fri Jan 04, 2013 12:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My texting game is horrible - looking for advice
Question 1)

Personally I wouldn't stick to a constant delay time to reply, I tend to play it on how long the girl takes. You dont want to reply straight away as you dont want to seem too keen and that you have nothing else better to do with your time. On the other hand if she replies quite fast, you dont want to leave it ages each time as this can often fizzle out a convo. Below are scenarios of what i am talking about:

Scenario 1:
Me: opener
(15 min delay) Her: Respone
(10 min delay) Me: Reply
(5/10 min delay) Her: Reply
(5 mins delay) Me: Reply
Then from here on its a few minutes delay between each text. Its hard the play the game over text as obviously humour is harder and you can't kino escalate. So I tend to have general conversations trying to get the comfort stage, making her feel comfortable with me and think that im not a threat (just by talking about family, school, work etc.) and i tend to throw in a few DHV stories in at this point aswell. Then depending how well it goes, either after a few hours texting, or a few days of smaller conversations, arrange a date.

Scenario 2:
Me:opener
(5 min delay) Her: Response
(10 min delay) Me: Reply
(5 min delay) Her: Reply
Then from here ill go down to the same time delay as her (around 5 mins or so). This scenario is a keen girl and fast replier which is great. Shows she is into you so you can go straight into the comfort stage and DHV stories and should be easy to arrange a date. Make it sound friendly and not so serious though e.g grab a coffee, or want to come help me shopping to buy my sister a present etc.

Scenario 3:
Me: opener
(20 min delay) Her: Reseponse
(15 min delay) Me: Reply
(20 min delay) Her: Reply
(15 min delay) Me: Reply
(20 min delay) Her: Reply
This is the worst scenario where she is either actually busy and slow at replying, or just doesnt want to seem keen for whatever reason. In this scenario I try and arrange a date as soon as possible by saying, "Im actually quite busy at the moment and im sure you are too so you want to get a coffee sometime soon?". If she agrees i then wont text until the day of the date.

Question 2)

For this question ill use an example from personal use. I met a girl out not long ago and during our convo she told me she was very fussy about guys so i noted this. She then put her number in my phone as i was leaving later on. The next day i text her with the following:

Me: Here is my number.. Incase you ever want to talk to some guy you cant be fussy about ;) [my name] x
Her: :D Ill bear that in mind haha thanks! how are you? x
Then convo went on for a while then i said ill speak to her soon and said i was going gym.
A day later or so I then text her with the following
Me: Dont be too flattered, im just bored in the long car journey ;) you alright? x
Her: Respect your elders cheeky boy! good thanks you?x (im 19 she is 21)

As you can see I never text a girl i just met with "hey hows it going" or something like that because obviously she is going to ask who it is. Sometimes im a bit cocky and send a text first saying " hey you alright" to which she replies who is this. I then say "the only guy last night that impressed you" or something along those lines to get a laugh.

Question 3

With this i never put my number into her phone. If she asks me i say "you arent that lucky, you put your number into my phone and i may decide to drop you a text sometime" with a cheeky smirk. If she says no then ill act like a i dont care aand start talking to someone else, and 9 times out of 10 she will come running back at some point that night and put her number in. :)
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