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| My biggest problem! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=150225 |
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| Author: | Stashh [ Thu Nov 08, 2012 6:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | My biggest problem! |
Hey guys, So I'm new the community but I want to jump right in. I'm what you would call "a serial monogamist" in that most of my life with women has been spent with a handful of girls in LTRs. My most recent relationship was almost two years, before that I was single and dating for about 4 months, and before that I was in an LTR for 8 months and one before that for 5 and a half loooong years. So I'm working now on improving my approach and figuring out more effective openers, but my biggest problem now is in maintaining interest and building attraction. I can open a set, and I can talk whatever bullshit for a minute, but how does one transition from opening the set to eventually isolating a target? Here's how i understand the opening process right now: 1. Open the set. Use a situational or canned opener to break the ice. No "Hi my name is" or similar. 2. Build interest with the group, forsaking the target temporarily. Chat about something relevant or interesting with the group, and add a time constraint "Listen, my friends are expecting me back in a minute, but while I'm here what do you guys think about xyz" And that's where I lose the process. Assuming the top portion so far is correct (please advise if it's not), how does one transition now from opening and establishing social value with the group to negging and hooking the target and then kino, isolation, and closing? Any step-by-step help you guys have would be awesome! |
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| Author: | puaninja [ Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
It's not that cut and dry bro. It's situational. How many are in the set? Where are you at? Would you agree that a 5 set at a bar is much different than a 2 set standing in line at the grocery store? You seem like you got the basic lingo down and probably have a good grasp of the Mystery Method/Style pickup technique, but don't think that you need to follow some rigid set of steps. Pick up is more of a fluid and improvised sort of thing. Once you open them you need to spend some time developing comfort and rapport. This is done with DHV stories, small talk, etc. Then you move into attraction, which is more DHV stuff and kino. The isolation should come naturally. Eventually you'll need to start talking to the target, and once you have engaged her in a conversation, the other people will kind of fade out. If they don't, then that's when you need to pull the girl aside and isolate her. Go dance with her, go to the smoking area, go to the bathroom, ask her to step outside for a moment, etc. I think you are hitting a sticking point because your middle game is weak. Before you even zone in on your target you are running out of shit to say. Try this, forget about your opening and negs. Envision yourself with a girl whom you've already isolated. Now you have to talk to her, pique her attraction to you, then close her. What types of things would you do to accomplish that? |
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| Author: | Stashh [ Thu Nov 08, 2012 8:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
My middle game is weak, you're absolutely right. To answer your question though, if I was already isolated with a girl I would ask her questions like "So are you working, in school?..." and feed off of her answers. To build more familiarity and comfort I would likely try and find some common ground as well, to build and enhance the conversation and make it deeper. In terms of piquing attraction, I would probably (right now) try the cube, or ask her some questions about chaos theory and the butterfly effect, which I've used before. Basically make her think and appeal to her on an intellectual level so that she not only views me as more than just a face in the crowd but also make her question the why and how of how she came to be sitting/standing next to me right now. Idk, it's probably weak but it's my initial response. |
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| Author: | puaninja [ Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Food for thought. Take me for example. My life is not that exciting. But I'm very normal in that respect. If you start talking about my schooling, my job, or my day to day life, I actually feel a little uneasy, because I know it's so boring and uneventful. To me, the story of my life is a DLV. I bet most girls are the same way. They don't have very exciting lives, especially younger ones. So here you are trying to get them to talk about their lives, which might make them a little uncomfortable since nobody wants to DLV themselves. That's why I recommend that you don't talk about education, upbringing, and work with the ladies. Talk about crazy stories or exciting things going on in the world around you. What I like to do is find out what her aspirations are, then build on that. Like maybe she wants to travel the world or something. Then I can say that I do to, and that we should plan a trip out of town together. If we limit the conversation to only the places we've been, then she'll tell me about her lame summer vacation in Canton Ohio, and I'll talk about my trip to Tuscon. Not very intriguing. |
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