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Having trouble keeping conversations to build rapport
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Author:  123kill [ Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:15 am ]
Post subject:  Having trouble keeping conversations to build rapport
I know a girl from school, she a to be a rather open and talkative girl, she seems to be interested in me, for she would think up excuses to talk to me, once i forgot to reply her text for just 1 hour and that clearly made her sad, i told my friends about all this and a lot of other signs and they all told me the same thing.
But here's a problem, i can't have a long and decent conversation with her, i can't find anything that we're interested in and i don't want to ask too many questions, sometimes when i approached her it seems like she's not even interested in me cause she won't try to keep the conversation going and she tend to not look me in the eye when i talk to her, and sometimes i would actually do the same when she approached me . And now she barely approach me and i have approach her most of the time, i can't have her interest and bond with her cause we've only had pointless small talks so far and i can't show my sense of humor, I'm not even that sure if she's interested in me or not.
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Having trouble keeping conversations to build rapport
Quote:
I know a girl from school, she a to be a rather open and talkative girl, she seems to be interested in me, for she would think up excuses to talk to me, once i forgot to reply her text for just 1 hour and that clearly made her sad, i told my friends about all this and a lot of other signs and they all told me the same thing.
your new best friend is the following, ''hey hb, can't really text right now but you can come hang out with me today if you have a ride''

repeat this over and over, non chalant invites giving her access to communicating with you, but cutting off contact through phone/social media, make your attention available in person, and create good logistics for yourself

Quote:
But here's a problem, i can't have a long and decent conversation with her, i can't find anything that we're interested in and i don't want to ask too many questions, sometimes when i approached her it seems like she's not even interested in me cause she won't try to keep the conversation going and she tend to not look me in the eye when i talk to her, and sometimes i would actually do the same when she approached me . And now she barely approach me and i have approach her most of the time, i can't have her interest and bond with her cause we've only had pointless small talks so far and i can't show my sense of humor, I'm not even that sure if she's interested in me or not.
what matters is your interest and effort towards her, what qualifies her to you

if you are having trouble with conversations
1) relax
2) get into a good mood

if both of these are accomplished, there are some things you can consider

-the surroundings and the environment, be concious of everything, pay attention to her, what she is wearing, what is she doing with her body language, what is going on around you, what mood she is in, how much energy does she have, there will almost always be something to comment on if you are paying attention

-what are you looking for in your ideal relationship/situation/girl, what are the qualities you are looking for, what sort of interests/passions do you have in your life, how does she fit in with your ideals and lifestyle?, when you find cool things out about her, let her know that she fits and you like her for that, find out what she is like, when you find common ground and she suits that, you will have something to talk about and relate with

for example if you want a girl that is into punk rock, so that you can both have fun going to punk rock shows together, and she likes punk rock, let her know it's cool, ''just be like, wow that's so badassed that you like punk, you are like up 50 hot points in my hotness points book now, what sort of bands you like?''

etc. etc., just keep making conversation

and since you have found this quality about her, taadaa you have opened a new thread of conversation to talk about (punk rock, and punk rock shows)

it goes on and on, qualification is awesome

-stories that relate to a subject, or stories that relate to a thread that you would like to open, this can range from retarded imaginative made up stories and hypothetical situations to get her into a good mood and laughing, or real serious stories that serve a purpose to opening a topic
Author:  puaninja [ Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some times you'll encounter a girl that is so dumb and insipid that she can't provide any conversational value. That's when you need to take over and start telling a story and drawing some conversation out of her with questions and small talk.

If you ramble on and get her laughing and ask her a bunch of probing questions she should start to come around to you. Sometimes girls are so shy though that they'll just give you the bare minimum. In that case you just have to move in for the f-close and start kino escalations. At a certain point talking will only get you so far.
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