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| I always lose the game at the same stage https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=56&t=145406 |
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| Author: | Marvin Nash [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | I always lose the game at the same stage |
Hey there, I just been rejected by this girl a couple of days ago after making out twice. This is the second time this year that I get dumped like this, after making some progress what makes me think that I might be doing something wrong at some point on my game. I seem not to have any problem with the initial part of the game: once I get my objective aimed I go agressievely for it and I suceed, dating the girl and generating some confort. I talk with the girls, I understand them, I play some value routines and finally I end up making out with them. Then, we date or meet again and I get to make out again but then after two or three times I get rejected or dumped. It happened at the begginig of this year with this HB8 I really liked and that I was making serious progress with. After a couple of good nights where we had fun she started fucking some other anon. Just like that, quicklier than me. Then, the same with this girl, we live kinda together and we genereate some comfort, we share good talks and one night at a party we make out. Then, we go out for a walk and we make out again. Next day I go after a kiss and I got rejected. Next weekend, we go out for a walk and when is close to finish I try to kiss her and I get rejected by her making one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life, that give me chills each time I remember. Obviously if two interactions end up in a similar way is that something is wrong with my game. I think and analyze how I play and the only reasonable problem I can spot is that perhaps my agressiveness can be interpreted as need, but I feel that if I dont escalate on the relation I would look desinterested. It also might show that Im after something serious, and the girls might be not tempted by that, but Im not, I just do what I feel and I never talk about relationship or stuff like that. Perhaps, its just coincidence: random girls that get scared by who-knows-what on their heads and reject me just because. But is weird. Is not a problem of shyness, nor a problem of atractiveness: is obvious that if I can make some HB to get interested on me is that I have something going on, but the problem seems to be somewhere between KClose and Sex that I cant figure it out. Thanks in advance for your help! |
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| Author: | Reality Show [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 7:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sounds like you have the whole foundation. But what specifically are your dates like? In other words, what actions are you engaging in? Sounds like you are just talking to them. I go dancing with all my girls. It breaks the physical barrier and they can meet all my people. I do Salsa etc. They feel safe and they enter my world and follow my directions. Do you ever show off to them? Like invite them to watch you play sports? I know it sounds like a lot of work and maybe cheating, but those things work for me. Even if you don't, you could talk about it with them. Just talking and kissing is boring. You need to give them a more complete package or at least the fantasy of it. |
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| Author: | puaninja [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I have a feeling that you get over-eager after you start making out with them, and they feel pressured to put out and thus LMR and ASD manifest themselves. Your not doing enough push pull. Do YOU ever tell them "We shouldnt' be doing this" while you make out? If not, try it. Once you know they are willing to kiss you, move in for the kiss then pull away. Freeze her out. Tell her you're not looking to just hook up with any girl and that you like sex to be romantic because that makes it all the better. You need to look for IOIs and calibrate in order to determine what step to escalate to next. If it's just you pushing hard toward a fuck close the whole time it likely won't end up that way. You can't be obvious about wanting to fuck them, I know it seems counter intuitive since that's obviously what's going on. Remember the cat string theory. As long as you dangle it in front of them they'll stay interested. As soon as you toss them the string they'll just sniff it once and walk away. |
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| Author: | PUA Reality [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Are you giving SOI's to the girls? I have made the mistake of not telling girls I like them and they somehow started vanishing on me. One of my close friends would do the same thing and shoot himself on the foot. The difference is that I learned, he didn't lol. They will be much more hesitant to let you escalate if you haven't given them a clear indication of your affection towards them. Once that's out of the question she will be much more willing to let you physically escalate. |
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| Author: | clearspeak [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 11:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think people made some good points here. First, make sure that you're doing qualifying and she feels she's earning your interest to the point that you really like her. Second, do a little more pushing away at times "We shouldn't be doing this" as was said. Both of these will help change the overall dynamic to more of a balanced one so she may feel more invested and safe. |
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