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A bit of a conundrum.. or, rather, a fucking pain in the ass
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Author:  NNoeoNN [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:54 am ]
Post subject:  A bit of a conundrum.. or, rather, a fucking pain in the ass
(I do apologize for any and all bad language this post may or may not contain, I use it when I speak, and therefore it's in here as well. If you take offense - don't, it's used to emphasize what i mean.)

TL;DR at the end for lazy muppets.

Right. Now. Fuck me.

Here's the thing; I've been doing this for years. Had a girlfriend for a year of it, but I've been gaming for four years. And it's still there. Haunting me. Kicking me in the balls when I'm least expecting it. I'm talking about that annoying thing called "Friendzone".

No, it's not what you'd expect - I'm not getting the "I just want to be friends", it's more of a "I love you, I really do, but I'm afraid of losing you as a friend." Worst part? They're fucking serious.

So, let's take an example. The girl I'm at right now; A lovely girl, hot as hell, in some ways classified as "out of my league".

Background:
Met her trough another girl I know, and apparently she's been talking quite a lot about me (awesome! :twisted:) Now, you guys need to know this, I run a completely natural game. I 've done stacks. But I digress; What happened was this: We started talking, and naturally I went under her sking withing the first couple of minutes - my talent - which meant that withing 20 minutes we were talking about her childhood, while I'm giving her quite a sensual and sexual massage (while she keeps telling me she hates kino.. not with me, girl. :wink:)

So, I built a mountain of comfort, which i continued to do for the next couple of times we met. Now, since I'm a devote follower of Mr. Lyons, I kept sexually escalating her, while also giving myself value talking about other girls in my life.

Now, I can keep giving you all the info, but that's what I think you need to know about this girl, and it's what usually happens. Here's what almost always happens next -

We get to the point where we start getting into the sexual (yes, I know it's a bit late, and no, it's not sex - just sexual in nature) after about a month, and then it just.. stops. That's usually when I get rejected.
What the actual fuck is my problem? Where's the problem at?

Now, I know I'm not giving all the info, so throw any questions at me and I'll try to elaborate.

TL;DR I meet girl, we grow close, get a bit sexual then get the "you're my best friend and I love you, but I can't risk it".[/b]
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: A bit of a conundrum.. or, rather, a fucking pain in the ass
Quote:
I meet girl, we grow close, get a bit sexual then get the "you're my best friend and I love you, but I can't risk it".[/b]
Missing details not withstanding:

You are not escalating to a closure quickly enough!


Quote:
after about a month, and then it just.. stops. That's usually when I get rejected.
How many times do you normally meet up in this time frame?

A Month is too long.

Kino, K close Day #1 or #2; Make-out/ "F" close; Day #3 or #4

Much after that they don't see you as a potential mate; your giving them attention. they give up nothing!
Author:  Amadieus [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your problem is that you don't lay them fast enough in my opinion.

Have sex with a girl after the second date. Sex is a girls most powerfull weapon. When you had sex, she lost her weapon. You are in controle and most likely have the girl.

So basicly try to have sex much faster and see how that goes.

Goodluck!
Author:  NNoeoNN [ Thu Aug 23, 2012 5:43 am ]
Post subject: 
I had a feeling that was the problem.. Damn.

Then I just have another question for you guys, and some more info, i guess:

(Oh, and during that first month I usually meet the girl quite a lot)
Here's what's happening (been analyzing it a lot); I seem to be creating a such a good report with the girl that the thought of losing me, by entering some kind of relationship, becomes somewhat impossible.

Biggest problem with that? That's what I'm after. It's what I'm working towards - the question then is if there's some way of getting both? Can I create a lasting friendship, with the sex?

Gah, I hate writing, can't seem to get the point across.. What I'm trying to say is this:

How can I create multiple "relationships" with these girls? I'm not after the one night stands, that's not my style. At the same time I shy away from the thought of getting into a monogamous relationship with anyone - the whole thing has never been natural in my mind.

Rambling rambling, hope I'm making some sense and not looking like a complete fool :)


- Alex
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Aug 23, 2012 1:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I had a feeling that was the problem.. Damn.

Then I just have another question for you guys, and some more info, i guess:

(Oh, and during that first month I usually meet the girl quite a lot)
Here's what's happening (been analyzing it a lot); I seem to be creating a such a good report with the girl that the thought of losing me, by entering some kind of relationship, becomes somewhat impossible.
Alright Bro, I'll try to sort this out for you; thinking I understand where this is headed...

.....You are more so looking for (at least potentially) a "Girlfriend"...The female in a male-female romantic relationship. She provides love and emotional support for her boyfriend and is loved the same way in return. The girlfriend is also a friend, and thus is loved and respected on that level of relationship. A mystical creature whose known powers range from clairvoyancy to being able to bleed for a week without dying. a person to have on your side.

Not a "One night stand" When you bang a chick with the intentions of never seeing or talking to her ever again.

Right?....

Here's the problem....

Your just slightly putting your cart before the horse.....

You are developing the "Friendship/relationship" ...before she has the opportunity to qualify you as a potential mate!

This may seem backwards to your upbringing...raised to be a "nice" young man and all!??!

Thing is, We are still primates...animals if you will. Put on this earth to procreate ...

In that sense...SEX IS FIRST....the relationship is second!

Find her...fuck her...THEN see how her personality is with eggs in the morning!
Author:  JamesWatson31 [ Thu Aug 23, 2012 7:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Find her...fuck her...THEN see how her personality is with eggs in the morning!


This is accurate but I always leave 60 minutes maximum after sex and of course I never let them stay over at my place.
Author:  Amadieus [ Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
You want a ''fuckbuddy'' you say?

Our friend with benefits? Wich is the same but just sounds more woman friendly.

If thats the case then just tell her you are not looking for something real and you live happily as a single.
Most girls dont mind. Then have sex after the second date. And there you are!

She might develop feelings for you but aye thats out of your power isnt it?
Author:  NNoeoNN [ Fri Aug 24, 2012 2:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

Alright Bro, I'll try to sort this out for you; thinking I understand where this is headed...

.....You are more so looking for (at least potentially) a "Girlfriend"...The female in a male-female romantic relationship. She provides love and emotional support for her boyfriend and is loved the same way in return. The girlfriend is also a friend, and thus is loved and respected on that level of relationship. A mystical creature whose known powers range from clairvoyancy to being able to bleed for a week without dying. a person to have on your side.

Not a "One night stand" When you bang a chick with the intentions of never seeing or talking to her ever again.

Right?....

Here's the problem....

Your just slightly putting your cart before the horse.....

You are developing the "Friendship/relationship" ...before she has the opportunity to qualify you as a potential mate!

This may seem backwards to your upbringing...raised to be a "nice" young man and all!??!

Thing is, We are still primates...animals if you will. Put on this earth to procreate ...

In that sense...SEX IS FIRST....the relationship is second!

Find her...fuck her...THEN see how her personality is with eggs in the morning!
First off all - I know. I do, in many ways, tend to ignore and forget how important that connection is in the beginning, which does come from the fact that I was brought up to be a gentleman.

There's just a couple of things that doesn't fit in on me:
A. I am looking for some kind of "relationship" (in my own terms - a partnership), but it's not the standard man-woman, more like man-woman-woman-man-alien. I'm looking for something a bit more permanent than the ONS, and at the same time not as constricted as a monogamous one.

B. My sex drive is, according to my experience, lower than average. Therefore the actual part of sex isn't on my mind constantly (especially not since there's a medication involved that take away some of it.). So, while I'm still interested in sex, and god do I love it, I don't have the same urge to push for it in the beginning as most people do.

Now, when it comes to the part about about being a gentleman - it's part of the problem, but also part of what I do love about myself. What I need to do is find a way to work some sexual prowess into it.. I need to create a situation where they invest a lot more in me on that level, which I do believe, and really hope, is possible while still having those core values left.. Been working them into my personality for years!

Oh, and thank you for the insights so far! Have a feeling I'm gonna be hanging quite a lot on this forum :D Just hope I might be able to give back as well ;)

//Alex
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