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multipull LTRs
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Author:  PlayToWin212 [ Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:41 am ]
Post subject:  multipull LTRs
NEED SOME HELP GUYS

Been seeing one bird for a few weeks while still gaming, haven't specified that I'm gonna continue gaming but haven't said I'm not - Now I'm recently seeing a second girl and they don't know about each other - I haven't and don't intend lying at all about the situation.

However i need advice on whether or not to bring it up and how to handle it.

Many thanks for any helpful reply from someone who has delt with this situation before because I could see this possibly getting messy if i don't handle it properly.
Author:  TheSeagull [ Fri Aug 10, 2012 1:02 am ]
Post subject: 
if you are sleeping with both girls and have not managed expectations properly, you are making a bad mistake, that has the potential to break hearts.
if so, you have three potential ways to handle it:

do nothing: eventually one or both girls will want a commitment. you choose which, if any, you feel ready to commit to. the other one (or both if you choose neither) will be heartbroken
be honest: tell girl A about girl B and girl B about girl A. watch the drama as they decide either to dump you or to fight for you
be partially honest: choose one of the two, and LJBF the other. if done early, especially before sex, it can be the most effective and least hurtful solution

if you are still in the very early stages with both girls, and sex is not on the table yet, you could manage expectations fairly easily and make it clear you are keeping your options open and just exploring. no need to be specific.
Author:  PlayToWin212 [ Fri Aug 10, 2012 8:15 am ]
Post subject: 
sleeping with one and 'messed about' with the other - new girl I've just messed about with is now going on holiday for a week but sex is pretty much happening in a week or so when i see her next.

I think its too early to go telling each girl directly about the other - but i may drop into conversation that I'm seeing other girls as well

for eg 'just so I'm not leading anyone on i wanted to tell you I'm bad boyfriend material, I'm just having fun in my life right now - i hope that cool cause i have a lot of fun with you'
Author:  TheSeagull [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 7:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
sleeping with one and 'messed about' with the other - new girl I've just messed about with is now going on holiday for a week but sex is pretty much happening in a week or so when i see her next.
this looks sooo much like my J/S situation.. be careful how you handle it, or you may end up feeling very very guilty..
Quote:
I think its too early to go telling each girl directly about the other - but i may drop into conversation that I'm seeing other girls as well
you only go direct if you truly want the drama and competition. basically, you let a girl believe some other chick is "stealing" your emotions from her.. ..watch her go to thermonuclear war on the competitor
Quote:
for eg 'just so I'm not leading anyone on i wanted to tell you I'm bad boyfriend material, I'm just having fun in my life right now - i hope that cool cause i have a lot of fun with you'
I would simply drop in a post-sex comment along the lines of "I think right now I am not ready for anything serious. I like to have fun and keep my options open."
do this ASAP with both girls. most probably they will still stick around. just be careful not to treat either of them as GF (unless you intend to LTR one)
Author:  Moguishenti [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 10:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
You should have been honest with the first "bird" from the beginning. Allowing a girl to assume you want to be monogamous with her when you don't is almost as bad as deviously lying about it.

Manage expectations at the beginning of the relationship. Remember: It's only cheating if it's against the rules and you get to decide what the rules are. She should know before getting involved with you that you will continue to see other people/pick up women. If she has a problem with that, that's her problem. You can stop wasting your time and find someone who dosen't.

Tell her that you aren't boyfriend material, that you are just playing around, that you are also chasing other women, and that you don't expect her to only be with you. Don't give her any specific details (this could make her uncomfortable and jealous), name the other girls (if she's crazy and wants to create drama, this will obviously be bad), or tell her how involved you are with any of them. MOST IMPORTANTLY: Do not lie to her about what she should expect from you. Don't tell her you only really want to be with her or that she is your favorite unless it's true. Don't tell her you're monogamous if you're not.

Also, don't be a selfish ass. Don't expect her to only fuck you if you're fucking multiple people. That is unfair, and quite a dick move. Biology makes you want to be jealous, but resist that. If you're just playing around, they should be free to do the same if they so desire.

Another reason not to get jealous: some women may fuck someone else in the hopes it will make you jealous and punish you for wanting to sleep around. If this succeeds in making you angry, you will be pulled into a shitstorm of drama you don't need. If you don't care, you can continue to play with her as before, and see other people as you like. If you filp, you lose control of the situation.
Author:  PlayToWin212 [ Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Nice replies. I think i need to manage expectation better, although not on purpose i may have a tendency to treat every girl like a GF as thats the impression they seem to get, thats just me being me though, I'm not an arsehole.

Theres two new girls on the scene now and I want to drop the first, I'm gonna manage expectation much better with these two. However whats the best way to drop a chick? I was planning on being natural and just texting back less and then meeting up less. Always found direct just caused unneeded drama, its not a serious relationship so she will get the hint.

What do you guys think?
Author:  TheSeagull [ Tue Aug 14, 2012 11:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
found direct just caused unneeded drama, its not a serious relationship so she will get the hint.

What do you guys think?
when I had to dump S, I went direct. told her I was seeing another chick as well and wanted to be exclusive with the other girl, so I had to stop seeing her.
did it cause drama? yes. would I do it again this way? yes. people need a closure. by just "disappearing" you are not providing the closure. it will be a much longer and worse pain for her. if she has given signs of attachment, by all means go direct. it will hurt a lot and cause drama, but she will have the chance to recover much quicker if she knows what is going on since Day-0, instead of having to worry for a week or two, and then realizing you threw her away like a used paper towel.
Author:  PlayToWin212 [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
cheers for the reply!

Do you guys find it very time consuming dating multiple girls?
I find its easy to get comfortable and to lean towards seeing girls you already have or just chilling in rather than going out and gaming. Partly because I don't think i have much more time in my life for MORE girls.

Has anyone got any mindsets towards keeping the passion for gaming alive - or techniques to deal with multiple girls.

I know the only reason there aren't as many amazing pus's as there could be is because they just stop. I want some inner game values and beliefs advice from someone who's got girls and still gaming here. I don't want to get comfortable. I want to progress
Author:  Wolfwoodd [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Okay, first, I always used to (mostly) follow these relationship rules: http://puarticles.blogspot.com/2008/01/ ... rules.html

Tips:
- Follow THE RULES as best you can
- Don't lie, it just makes more drama for you in the future
- Learn how to effectively "soft next" a girl when she gets dramatic
- Ignore girls when they want to have "the talk" or when they pressure you into being monogamous
- It's time consuming, but it does wonders for your inner-game so it's worth it.
- Screen for laid back, emotionally mature girls (or learn how to handle freaks and extreme shit tests).

-Wolf
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