PUA Forum :: Help with jokes and banter, talking more

I'm an introvert and I rarely talk. I enjoy listening a lot more than talking. It takes a lot of energy for me to be in a group of friends/acquaintances and continue to actively take part in the conversation. When it's more serious conversations, or a topic that I'm familiar with, I do ok. But when people start joking around, bantering, coming up with funny ridiculous things, my mind goes blank.

Naturally, it's hard for me to build attraction when girls want to have a fun time and I either:
a.) not say anything
b.) turn the conversation into something more serious.

What are some of the things in your life you use for entertainment? For example, what are some shows you watch, movies you've seen lately, activities you normally do, etc. I really enjoy watching comedy movies, South Park, reading funny comics, watching stand-up every now and then... I believe these influences might have made me a more fun and less serious person. I think they've also made me funnier.

Now, I know this may sound unrelated, but I think meditation helps, too. Meditation molds your mind so that it's easier for you to live in the moment. A problem you may be having is that you go inside your own head too much and start thinking too much about things other than the NOW when social situations start to pick up more energy. I recommend just 5 minutes of Zazen meditation per day. Look it up.

YOU MUST BE FUN TO BE AROUND. this means being adventurous and exciting, but you should be doing it for yourself. If you are having fun yourself chances are she is too. It's impossible to be fun to be around all the time that's just how life is, but it has to be frequent enough that she wants to come back for more. She has to enjoy herself more than she is bored out of her mind.

There is no guy on earth that is fun to be around 24/7 so all you have to do is be more fun than 60% of guys out there. Even out of the remaining 40% of guys most of those guys will make massive mistakes and shoot themselves in the foot in terms of chances with this girl and will be trying to impress her. These guys might be able to get a girl interested but the chances of them keeping her decrease over time also.

Author:	ILikeVacuums [ Sun May 13, 2012 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Help with jokes and banter, talking more
For the people in this forum who can talk non-stop and joke around for hours, how do you do it? Odd question, I know, but here's a little background: I'm an introvert and I rarely talk. I enjoy listening a lot more than talking. It takes a lot of energy for me to be in a group of friends/acquaintances and continue to actively take part in the conversation. When it's more serious conversations, or a topic that I'm familiar with, I do ok. But when people start joking around, bantering, coming up with funny ridiculous things, my mind goes blank. Naturally, it's hard for me to build attraction when girls want to have a fun time and I either: a.) not say anything b.) turn the conversation into something more serious. This is not to say that I'm not having a fun time. It's just that its become a sticking point for me that people will come by to sit by me and quickly find that I'm not that engaging and move on. Anyone have any thoughts? Tips?

Author:	detox75 [ Sun May 13, 2012 5:51 pm ]
Post subject:
it sounds like you should put together some canned material, storytelling, scripts, routines, and the like. Then you will always have something to say. Put in some effort an make it attractive and interesting as well.

Author:	Chief [ Mon May 14, 2012 3:50 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Help with jokes and banter, talking more
Quote: I'm an introvert and I rarely talk. I enjoy listening a lot more than talking. It takes a lot of energy for me to be in a group of friends/acquaintances and continue to actively take part in the conversation. When it's more serious conversations, or a topic that I'm familiar with, I do ok. But when people start joking around, bantering, coming up with funny ridiculous things, my mind goes blank. Naturally, it's hard for me to build attraction when girls want to have a fun time and I either: a.) not say anything b.) turn the conversation into something more serious. Not everyone has a really playful personality. You can still play to your strengths. For example, the 60 Years of Challenge method would probably suit you very well since it focuses on listening, building sexual tension rather than being entertaining, etc. However, you're still wise to seek some improvement in the area of bantering and joking around if you feel a weakness there. Turning a conversation into something more serious is a necessary skill, but so is turning something serious into something more jovial. What are some of the things in your life you use for entertainment? For example, what are some shows you watch, movies you've seen lately, activities you normally do, etc. I really enjoy watching comedy movies, South Park, reading funny comics, watching stand-up every now and then... I believe these influences might have made me a more fun and less serious person. I think they've also made me funnier. Now, I know this may sound unrelated, but I think meditation helps, too. Meditation molds your mind so that it's easier for you to live in the moment. A problem you may be having is that you go inside your own head too much and start thinking too much about things other than the NOW when social situations start to pick up more energy. I recommend just 5 minutes of Zazen meditation per day. Look it up.

Author:	Don Juan 89 [ Mon May 14, 2012 7:32 am ]
Post subject:
If you aren't funny why try to be funny? Go with yourself man! Do you think Johnny Depp or the Dos Equis guy make a lot of jokes to get women? Obviously, there are many ways to get with women. You can be funny, be wealthy, be seductive, etc. Don't try to pick one, try to have one just find you. I know as a fact that if you try to be funny and you aren't naturally that way, you will most likely become the clown. It happens all the time to people including myself.

Author:	NikAFC [ Mon May 14, 2012 2:05 pm ]
Post subject:
Sign up for a comedy classes. Being funny is crucial

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Author:	Jambi [ Mon May 14, 2012 4:44 pm ]
Post subject:
I'm not the best at explaining things but bare with me on this and hopefully it will give you some food for thought. Perhaps someone will elaborate on it further. You don't have to be "funny" but you do have to be FUN to be around. Notice the words FUNNY and FUN are two different words and have completely different meanings yet people associate them as the same thing. If you are trying to be funny to make her laugh you are qualifying yourself to her. This means you are trying to impress her which assumes she has all the power. A woman with more power than you is not attractive to her. Women want men to have the power. You become the performing monkey this way. Now think about this. The big boss in work calls a meeting. During that meeting he makes a joke in front of all his employees. This joke wasn't funny at all but not one of those employees will turn around and say "that joke sucks". Instead they all laugh at this joke. Now why are people laughing at something that is not funny? Because the employees are qualifying themselves to the boss. In other words the boss has all the power. Women don't say "I want a man who is funny" they almost always say "I want a man who can make me laugh". In other words they want someone who allows them to be the girl in the relationship. YOU MUST BE FUN TO BE AROUND. this means being adventurous and exciting, but you should be doing it for yourself. If you are having fun yourself chances are she is too. It's impossible to be fun to be around all the time that's just how life is, but it has to be frequent enough that she wants to come back for more. She has to enjoy herself more than she is bored out of her mind. There is no guy on earth that is fun to be around 24/7 so all you have to do is be more fun than 60% of guys out there. Even out of the remaining 40% of guys most of those guys will make massive mistakes and shoot themselves in the foot in terms of chances with this girl and will be trying to impress her. These guys might be able to get a girl interested but the chances of them keeping her decrease over time also.

Author:	ILikeVacuums [ Tue May 15, 2012 12:03 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the reply guys! It's given me a lot to think (or not think) about. Quote: What are some of the things in your life you use for entertainment? For example, what are some shows you watch, movies you've seen lately, activities you normally do, etc. I really enjoy watching comedy movies, South Park, reading funny comics, watching stand-up every now and then... I believe these influences might have made me a more fun and less serious person. I think they've also made me funnier. Now, I know this may sound unrelated, but I think meditation helps, too. Meditation molds your mind so that it's easier for you to live in the moment. A problem you may be having is that you go inside your own head too much and start thinking too much about things other than the NOW when social situations start to pick up more energy. I recommend just 5 minutes of Zazen meditation per day. Look it up. I've been taking improv lessons and it's helped me feel comfortable with making a fool out myself and have the ability laugh it off. I see where you're going. I've stuck with more "serious" hobbies growing up (in an attempt to be a more mature person - agh) and I'm sure it's had an affect on me. I used to spend a lot of time in my head thinking it would help me improve on my weaknesses, but only a couple months ago have I realized it's been holding me back. I'll give meditation a go. Quote: YOU MUST BE FUN TO BE AROUND. this means being adventurous and exciting, but you should be doing it for yourself. If you are having fun yourself chances are she is too. It's impossible to be fun to be around all the time that's just how life is, but it has to be frequent enough that she wants to come back for more. She has to enjoy herself more than she is bored out of her mind. There is no guy on earth that is fun to be around 24/7 so all you have to do is be more fun than 60% of guys out there. Even out of the remaining 40% of guys most of those guys will make massive mistakes and shoot themselves in the foot in terms of chances with this girl and will be trying to impress her. These guys might be able to get a girl interested but the chances of them keeping her decrease over time also. Thanks for the insights Jambi. I grew up thinking that to be fun is to be funny.

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