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How do I get a girl to start chasing me?
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Author:  JohnnyBB [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 8:34 pm ]
Post subject:  How do I get a girl to start chasing me?

I'm not easily paying that much attention to women, I don't use any techniques usually, I guess it just happens naturally, but I didn't think of this one as anything more than a friend, so I didn't really try to display high value and stuff like that..but she's often been messing up, like we would plan to hang out, and then she wouldn't show, and I called her and she said she was at one of her girlfriends' house and couldn't come today..and I didn't make a big thing out of it, I acted like it was cool and all, and I thought I'd seem laid back by doing that, but eventually she thought I'd always be there no matter how she treated me, so she started doing everything like she didn't care at all about what I'd think. Now I decided to act up, since no girl is good enough to have me beg! So, she was doing stuff which gets on my nerves again last time we went out, like 4 days ago, and then when it was time to go home, after she hugged me and all, she told me to go on SPAM. We often just talk on SPAM and stuff..but I decided not to go on SPAM at all with no explanation. So she texted me this: "I don't know for what reason you didn't get on SPAM..but anyway..goodnight." and I replied back "I'll tell you the reason some other time. Goodnight."
The next day I texted her good morning, and she replied back saying good morning. And I asked her how she was, and she said "okay. you?" and I replied "fine." and she said "nice." and I didn't even reply back. Now it's been 3 days and she hasn't contacted me, and I haven't either, because I'm waiting for her to make a move...what should I do now? I suppose you guys could be of help..I mean, you have much more experience than I do..

Author:  Olivier [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well first off you should consider other peoples feelings.
Writing sentence after sentence without an single enter is really an enter is really annoying to read:p

All jokes aside though, I would like to know what your current status is with this girl.
How long have you been together/known each other and have you gotten intimate of some sort?

Just a little more pieces of the puzzle would be appreciated;)

Oh, and welcome to the forum:)

Author:  mpuapua [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 

you have to start flirting with other women if you want her to want to compete for your attention.. dress up in your Sunday best and go smile and say hi how are you? to some women you meet and give them a compliment or too.. this could go a long way.. also don't sit at home wondering about how to win over this one girl, much better to have a whole pack of women chasing you than just one :)

Author:  JohnnyBB [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:31 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Well first off you should consider other peoples feelings.
Writing sentence after sentence without an single enter is really an enter is really annoying to read:p

All jokes aside though, I would like to know what your current status is with this girl.
How long have you been together/known each other and have you gotten intimate of some sort?

Just a little more pieces of the puzzle would be appreciated;)

Oh, and welcome to the forum:)
You're right, I'm sorry, I realized I wrote a huge wall of text after I've written most of it, so I didn't go back and put enters, but I promise I'll do so next time:)

Well, technically, me and this girl are currently just friends, but it's not really just that..it's like, something in between simple friends and friends with benefits..
What I mean is, we haven't had sex or anything like that, but we have kissed a few times..and we generally act a lot like a couple, people often ask us if we're dating..:p

And thanks a lot!:D
Quote:
you have to start flirting with other women if you want her to want to compete for your attention.. dress up in your Sunday best and go smile and say hi how are you? to some women you meet and give them a compliment or too.. this could go a long way.. also don't sit at home wondering about how to win over this one girl, much better to have a whole pack of women chasing you than just one :)
Yes, I'm actually doing that, I've been doing it before I met her one year ago, and I still do it on a daily basis..
But I don't do it intentionally for her to know about it, so there's the possibility that she's under the impression that she's the only girl in my life, and that's why she's acting like that..

Author:  Olivier [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:16 am ]
Post subject: 

I would ask her to spent a day with you. She's already into you with all the kissing that's been going on:D

Go out to the park and have a picknick, feed her and hope that she'll feed you, just have a fun day together and be sure to get your touch on:p
I always wrestle girls to get easy kino, let her to hop on piggyback and run a bit...whatever it doesnt really matter what it is as long as you have the element of touch and play involved.

After spending the day together get her back to your place and you'll probably be able to kiss her again at the very least;)

Just seems to me like you should be spending some more romantic time together if you want this to go anywhere:)

Author:  JohnnyBB [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 5:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I would ask her to spent a day with you. She's already into you with all the kissing that's been going on:D

Go out to the park and have a picknick, feed her and hope that she'll feed you, just have a fun day together and be sure to get your touch on:p
I always wrestle girls to get easy kino, let her to hop on piggyback and run a bit...whatever it doesnt really matter what it is as long as you have the element of touch and play involved.

After spending the day together get her back to your place and you'll probably be able to kiss her again at the very least;)

Just seems to me like you should be spending some more romantic time together if you want this to go anywhere:)
That was my original plan too, but as I was saying, she gets moody for no reason at all, at random times, and she always takes all her problems out on me..
And also, we haven't talked in 5 days now, and I don't want to show low value by being the one to talk first, so I'm waiting until she decides to talk to me..
I don't know what's going on though, this has happened other times and she would always call me 2-3 days after, and would also post sad songs on facebook and stuff on her wall too before, probably to get my attention, and possibly get me to talk to her..
Now it's been 5 days already, but not only she hasn't called, she hasn't even posted no sad songs or statuses on facebook, nothing..:s

Author:  Olivier [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:09 pm ]
Post subject: 

Take action.

The things you wrote display how much you care for this girl. You like her, it's a good thing. Let her know, tell her.

We've pretty much all been down the road of "I'm so not going to give in first." Especially when you have no idea why she is behaving the way she is.
Something is up with her, you like her, you wanna know what's up.

(Men often try to be the big strong man in her life that want to fix her problems, but if she doesn't ask for help, which generally isn't a good idea)

Contact her and ask to talk about the recent events in real life, no msn, SPAM, text, phone whatever....face to face. Then it's her time to make a move and you can stop worrying knowing and doubting whether you did something wrong.

That's what I would do anyways.

Author:  JohnnyBB [ Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:48 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
why do you believe initiating first is low-value?
Quote:
Take action.

The things you wrote display how much you care for this girl. You like her, it's a good thing. Let her know, tell her.

We've pretty much all been down the road of "I'm so not going to give in first." Especially when you have no idea why she is behaving the way she is.
Something is up with her, you like her, you wanna know what's up.

(Men often try to be the big strong man in her life that want to fix her problems, but if she doesn't ask for help, which generally isn't a good idea)

Contact her and ask to talk about the recent events in real life, no msn, SPAM, text, phone whatever....face to face. Then it's her time to make a move and you can stop worrying knowing and doubting whether you did something wrong.

That's what I would do anyways.
Actually..maybe you guys are right now that I think of it..
It's just that, at first it seemed to me like I would show that I care too much if I initiated contact and all that..and we all know the "girls want what they can't have" theory so...

So I should call her tomorrow or something..and say "Hey..how you're doing" etc. and then say "care to meet me sometime today or tomorrow? We need to talk.." or something like that?:s

Author:  Olivier [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

Well I personally picked up English from movies and soaps :p (Not a native speaker)
And on Oprah "We need to talk" Basically means breaking up.

Don't know if that's accurate in real life :P
Other than that go for it, hell if she is as bummed out about the situation she'll be glad you called!

Author:  Gman82 [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:06 pm ]
Post subject: 

Yeah, I agree with the advice here.
Acting strange for no apparrent reason, if she didn't, she wouldn't be a girl.

There is nothing weak about making contact to make an arrangement.
Being put off so easily is a shit-test my friend, and short answers and no contact is failing that test.
I just think you should try and come off unreactive, as if it's no big deal whatever happened.
Don't even mention it.

Give her a buzz, see if she's keen to see you, and take her for something casual so she feels comfortable.
Just have fun with her, and be playful. (I think the piggyback or wrestling idea is great)
Use the excuse to escalate kino, but always pull away first, so that she feels the tension after the takeaway.
Maybe then she'll be chasing you.

Good luck

Author:  JohnnyBB [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Well I personally picked up English from movies and soaps :p (Not a native speaker)
And on Oprah "We need to talk" Basically means breaking up.

Don't know if that's accurate in real life :P
Other than that go for it, hell if she is as bummed out about the situation she'll be glad you called!
Hmm..yeah the "we need to talk" approach may be a little scary:p

I'll wait a few more days, and then I'll call her..
Quote:
Yeah, I agree with the advice here.
Acting strange for no apparrent reason, if she didn't, she wouldn't be a girl.

There is nothing weak about making contact to make an arrangement.
Being put off so easily is a shit-test my friend, and short answers and no contact is failing that test.
I just think you should try and come off unreactive, as if it's no big deal whatever happened.
Don't even mention it.

Give her a buzz, see if she's keen to see you, and take her for something casual so she feels comfortable.
Just have fun with her, and be playful. (I think the piggyback or wrestling idea is great)
Use the excuse to escalate kino, but always pull away first, so that she feels the tension after the takeaway.
Maybe then she'll be chasing you.

Good luck
Alright man, if she doesn't initiate contact in the next 2-3 days, I'll do so..thanks a lot for your advice..I'll tell you how it went:D

Author:  Slip n Slide [ Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:05 pm ]
Post subject: 

Don't bother with conversations. Invite her to hang out with no "need to talk" clause, if she bails then tease the fuck out of her and give her ONE more chance.
Don't let her tell you her problems, tease her when she tries.

The lack of attention you're feeling is intentional, she's doing the same freeze-out you're doing. You can bring it up, she probably wants you to, but do so in a positive way, never blame her for not talking to you. "We haven't been talking recently! Don't disappear, let's hang out!"

Author:  JohnnyBB [ Tue Jul 19, 2011 1:01 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Don't bother with conversations. Invite her to hang out with no "need to talk" clause, if she bails then tease the fuck out of her and give her ONE more chance.
Don't let her tell you her problems, tease her when she tries.

The lack of attention you're feeling is intentional, she's doing the same freeze-out you're doing. You can bring it up, she probably wants you to, but do so in a positive way, never blame her for not talking to you. "We haven't been talking recently! Don't disappear, let's hang out!"
Yes..you are pretty much right now that I think of it.
And judging by her character(and believe me, I know her really well..), she is the kind of girl who would try and ignore a guy and stuff like that..(freeze-out techniques, but she just doesn't know they're called that)..
I mean, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't just say that the attention I'm giving her is enough, even if I dedicated half my day to her..it's just her character.


Now, what happened is, today she texted me..
I was originally planning to text her first if she didn't as you all know, but she did just today.
Her text said: "Remember what happened this day last year?" (She was referring to me getting with a girl last year, I knew her back then, and when I told her about how me and that girl got in a relationship, she acted like she was happy about it, but by her text, she seemed more..jealous.)

So I texted back saying: "Please don't remind about that..:p" (The relationship didn't end good..eventually, I got bored of that girl, and since that girl also was starting to act bitchy, I broke up with her.)

And she replied: "I couldn't leave such an event without a comment.."

So I said, "Remember what day we broke up?:p"

And she replied: "I think it was the 15th of november..I'm not sure"

And I was like: "I bet you won't forget to make a comment on that day either! xD"

And she said: "Was it on that day?"

So I replied: "How would I remember?xd I didn't pay that much attention to remember days and stuff..I mean that's just dumb."

And she was like: "Yeah dumb.."

And I told her: "What you don't believe me?"

And she said: "Oh I do I do"

And then I just said: "Oh..good!xd"

And she didn't reply back until like an hour later, and she asked me a random question, about what a movie we once saw was called..
And I purposely waited 16-17 minutes until I replied back, and I just said: "I'm not sure..I think it was *name of the movie*..why?"

And she didn't even reply back at all..so I'm wondering..was she just trying to get my attention back by randomly texting me, because she was scared that maybe I'm forgetting about her after I completely ignored her for so many days..?

Anyway, you guys tell me your opinion on all this, and what I should do now..and sorry for the long post..:)

Author:  JohnnyBB [ Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:13 pm ]
Post subject: 

Ooh more great news!
It looks to me like my techniques were successful, because I feel like she's just really trying to get my attention right now!:p

So she just texted me again tonight..her message said: "What does rtms stand for?:p"
(as you can imagine, first thing that came to my mind was, why is she asking me that..that looks pretty random..more like a really bad attempt at getting my attention)

And I (purposely) waited 5 minutes until I responded back: "Hmm..I'm not sure..give me the exact sentence and I'll tell you.."

So she responded: "What the f*ck rtms:p"

And I said: "Oh I don't know..ask him."

And she asked me: "What did you think it stands for?"

So I told her: "read the manual stupid xd"

So she answered: "Oh..it obviously wasn't that one..xd"

And I (purposely again) waited a good 12 minutes, before I answered back saying: "Obviously..that's why I said ask them:p"

And she didn't text back after that.
But the point is..she texted me just yesterday, and she couldn't stop herself from texting me again today..

And the good part is, it really seemed like a desperate attempt too, since I'm no abbreviations expert or anything, and she could just have asked someone else, or the person who said it.:p

You guys tell me your opinion on all this..and what should I do now?:)

Author:  Olivier [ Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

You ask her to hang out.
Texting never goes anywhere, it's good for building comfort but other than that you are just wasting money.

I think I've mentioned something about this either in a previous post or on another topic. Face to face talking is always better than any other type of contact through a digital device of some sorts;)

Just ask her to come over and do whatever. Plant a tree, play a game of chess, adopt a child, whatever you feel like at the moment.

She wants to see you, but she's probably too stubborn to admit it;)

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