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Successfully talking about Computers and Games - Thoughts?
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Author:  Loreman [ Fri Sep 21, 2007 6:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Successfully talking about Computers and Games - Thoughts?
Ok, so here's my "problem": I'm very passionate about computer and video games, but it's useless to tell women about it because they don't get it.

So, mentioning my greatest passion in life is concidered to be a DLV! How do you think I feel about that? Yeah, it kind of sucks.

When I say I like games, I mostly mean designing them and analyzing them, as an artform and in a virtual-worlds + AI kind of perspective, not sitting on my as playing XBOX all day long.

My greatest dream is to develop my own MMORPG, and I have a ton of other ideas I'd like to do. It's a real hobby of mine, and it's not just some random interest, it's my calling. You know when you ask people what they really want to do in life, and they say "Uh.. don't know really. Haven't figured that out yet.."? Well, this is what I REALLY want to do, more than anything else. I have found my purpouse in life. Get it?

But, start mentioning "Computer" or "Video Game" in front of women, and you see their interest fading like if it's a trigger.

I try to highlight the artistic aspects of it, and talk about it like it's an artform just like writing, drawing, animating and stuff like that, and hope it'll put me in the same category as an artist or a writer, but it never really does. Women, and a lot of other people, still tend to associate games with geeks and nerds, and think it's kind of immature. That really bugs me, because that's just not true any more, and I always feel the need to justify myself whenever women ask about what my interests are, and from a PUA standpoint, that sucks!

Sure, I could just choose not to talk about it, and that's what I usually do, but still, it doesn't seem fair. I suppose I could find some reason in that I'm not actually a proffesional Video Game Designer for real, since it's just my hobby so far. It might have been different if I could present myself as that, but I can't, which obviously makes me look even more like an amateur. That's just not very sexy.

My real title is Webdesigner, which is a bit more generally accepted and official, and women kind of know what that is because they obviously use the internet.

The problem with mentioning that I am a webdesigner though, is that I easily get labeled as "the computer genious" and immediately find myself in the position of being someone who can help with all the weird stuff their computers are up to, like if I'm Mr. Tech-support. Huge Friend Zone danger right there, because it really kills attraction when you're trying to help someone install something over the phone. No one really have the attention span for stuff like that, because it's always tedious, and it always ends up in "well, thanks anyway, but I think this is to difficult for me" and then none of us feels good about it. Yeah, trust me, never ever go there with someone you've just met, it's a disaster.

So, I think I need a better way of saying "Um, no. I won't help you with your computer even if I could, because you'll end up bored and confused half way trough it and I like you too much to ruin what we've got going right now".

And while I doubt I could really make someone interested in my crazy hobby of computer games (until I have something real to show for it of course), I need a better way to present this interest, if I ever should. Now I just say that I do tons of different creative stuff, like writing, painting, different crafts like that, which is also true really, and that works.

Does any of you have these same problems with your interests or jobs? Would be fun to hear some thoughts on this.
Author:  swiftone [ Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
wow you sure do put up Long long posts... anyway if you love what you do just spice things up... for instance... I have a business and I recruit... well instead of saying I recruit people to create leverage for myself... I say I own my own business, I'm a business developer...

you are with video games/computer graphics... I would say I'm a video developer... graphics and video coordinator... graphics director
Author:  Loreman [ Fri Sep 21, 2007 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hehe, yeah, sorry about the length, but as I said, I like writing. ;)

I actually do have my own company as a webdesigner, so that's what I say, and that's always a DHV.

What I need help with though is what to say when women see me as a resourse and think I could help them with their computer problems. On one hand I could do it, and it's good to be useful and have an opportunity to show off, help a damsel in distress, kind of, but on the other hand I don't want to become Mr Tech-support.

The deeper issue here is how to tell someone you're really good at something cool and useful, and then saying no to them when they ask for your help?

If I'm going to help some girl with a computer, I need to have it in front of me and do it myself. Phone does not work. I'm sure there's a way to turn this into a perfectly good reason to have her invite me over, but how do I make her do that without it feeling like I invited myself over?

I've only recently started to think about this problem in terms of a PUA, so I don't have any real answers for myself yet.

Maybe I could ask for something in return? Seems like I definitely should do that, but what exactly? My services should not be taken for granted, that's for sure at least, because then she takes me for granted, and I don't want that.
Author:  MrHappy [ Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Can you help me with a computer problem?
"No I can't I'm busy right now"
no silly, my computer at home.
"Well I can't do that unless I'm in front of the computer."

Then if she wants your help she knows she has to invite you over, and you never asked for anything yet so you are not needy at all
Author:  Loreman [ Sat Sep 22, 2007 12:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Well that was simple, hehe.

I'm a recovering Good Guy, if you know what I mean, so it doesn't yet come naturally to me to just say no. I'm still working on the "she's beautiful, I must please her" AFC issue. I know how to say no, but the right words to use can be tricky. For a PUA, correct rhetorics are essential.

Thanks.
Author:  MrHappy [ Sat Sep 22, 2007 1:13 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm new too, but I have always had a way of telling people no while imposing my conditions. I must be half-natural(egotistical)
Author:  North [ Sat Sep 22, 2007 11:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Like someone said, just play along and make sure that if you are to help her with her computer, you need to take a good look at it.

In the side chance that she might not be running on you ("Can you help me with my computer" is also a pick-up line), you will still have show a genuine polite interest in helping her.
Author:  Xes12 [ Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
why don't you try

My passion is to develop games , I like to make people smile (Mostly anybody can understand this part) when they are enjoying themselves when they have free time, Just the thought of a kid playing a game and telling his friends how cool about it and getting more kids to enjoy themselves makes me feel good , it's like teaching in a nursery school where you see a bunch of kids smiling and playing with each other on a game.

Just elaborate it from a point where everybody can understand you like instead of saying I am a software programmer, you could say I am a computer entrepreneur, I see a opportunity in a place, and I use it to my advantage or elaborate on how successful it feels when you sold the product (much like how a normal person owns a business and sells his product)
Author:  frankh1188 [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 5:02 am ]
Post subject: 
The fact of gaming has a negative connotation when people do not understand it. they automatically link it with nerds, and spending all day in a virtual world.

My advice is, just keep it to yourself.
Author:  Brenoporra [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 6:44 am ]
Post subject: 
the thing is, women have no interest at all IN the machines, programming, codes, game mechanics.... so, talking passionate about it is a no-go... but you shouldnt feel ashamed to tell them what you do, or what you're hoping to be... but remember, we're logical so we can see the art in this things, from our perspective, yes, they're dumb beings(relatively, but none less true!)
so just dont expect them to understand and give a straight awnser/comment

so just neg her when she do the "that is nerd" look, cause this IS pure shallowness
"c'mon, you're thinking Im a nerd now, arent you?" "yeah, girls never disappoint me on their shallowness"






too bad youre not brasilian, we have a slang here thats like "program girl", for prostitute, when the guy pays the hooker he pays a "program"

and Im a future coder, whenever they ask me, I kinda say(in slang) that Im a gigolo... hahah
Author:  navyjugg [ Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:07 am ]
Post subject:  Stay away from computer games
I have loved computers my entire life but there are only a handful of people that know I taught myself various computer languages when I was in Middle school and High school.

The best advice is to skirt that issue and focus on something else. Try not to mention games or anything like that, use broader terms like Web Developer or Software Engineer. Girls that have no knowledge in the area won't ask questions and will assume you are intelligent and that you make good money. If a girl DOES know more about that sort of thing....bingo...she may actually be a cool chick that you can talk about all of that stuff with but you don't want to open with anything too nerdy.
Author:  Paetar [ Sat Sep 20, 2008 11:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
No, no no no no no.

USE your passion. SHOW her your identity. Don't hide it, don't be a pussy. There are a lot of cool programmers out there, and webdesigners too, I'm sure. If not...well you will be the first one.

First of all, about helping her with her computer; Has she deserved it? Do you have a relationship good enough to do it? Your skill is quite valuable, especially in today's world... if she doesn't deserve it, she should pay you for your services.

How to relate it to her; link your profession to her daily life. She probably never wrote a program, or doesn't know what the heck C++ is. So don't talk about what you favorite language is. Instead, if she asks you what do you do (and you're employed in google) say: "Do you know Google? Well I make that work." Xes12 has grasped the idea; it's you, so she'd better like you for who you are.

You mentioned having your own web-designing company; well tell her that! Say sth like "I make web-pages; I love sharing information and giving people space to share some. It gives me freedom, and I love to share it with others." You said that you love MMORPG; so tell her your emotions (the good ones of course), like independence, other life, new chance, exploration, freedom, sense of accomplishment, fun... whatever you come up with.
Then try to relate those feelings to her; "It's like riding a horse, like swimming," dancing, whatever.

Simply said, love it enough, be passionate about it and she'll love you for it.
Author:  jeco [ Sun Oct 05, 2008 11:02 am ]
Post subject: 
I would not say anything about it, i wouldn't even bring it up.

I mean not to be rude, but i skimmed over the post when i read the title. I didn't really care. And girls definetely don't care.

If she asks or you simply must talk about it, talk with metaphors and NEVER go into detail, use passion in your voice but without boring technobable
Author:  Gref [ Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
You can totally make this thing a DHV!

You mentioned something about them asking you to help and that would put you into friends zone?... no
Next time a girl asks you for comptuer help, or well help with anything at all, just look at them and say "what do I get in return?" it always gets a good laugh.
And I think someone already said it but instead of helping them over the phone go to their house.
And I pretty sure that if SHE needs YOUR help computers or not, that puts you in a position of authority, which is very alpha.

I'm a computer geek, though I totally don't come off as one and people, epically ditzy chicks will turn to me for help.
I made up this routine I used to ALWAYS use.
Say something like your going to be the next Bill Gates, and you're gonna have hot ass wife. It gets laughs.
Author:  daggaz [ Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
No, no no no no no.

USE your passion. SHOW her your identity. Don't hide it, don't be a pussy. There are a lot of cool programmers out there, and webdesigners too, I'm sure. If not...well you will be the first one.

First of all, about helping her with her computer; Has she deserved it? Do you have a relationship good enough to do it? Your skill is quite valuable, especially in today's world... if she doesn't deserve it, she should pay you for your services.

How to relate it to her; link your profession to her daily life. She probably never wrote a program, or doesn't know what the heck C++ is. So don't talk about what you favorite language is. Instead, if she asks you what do you do (and you're employed in google) say: "Do you know Google? Well I make that work." Xes12 has grasped the idea; it's you, so she'd better like you for who you are.

You mentioned having your own web-designing company; well tell her that! Say sth like "I make web-pages; I love sharing information and giving people space to share some. It gives me freedom, and I love to share it with others." You said that you love MMORPG; so tell her your emotions (the good ones of course), like independence, other life, new chance, exploration, freedom, sense of accomplishment, fun... whatever you come up with.
Then try to relate those feelings to her; "It's like riding a horse, like swimming," dancing, whatever.

Simply said, love it enough, be passionate about it and she'll love you for it.
I was going to respond to this thread, but now I don't have to. Paetar nailed it, pretty much point for point. Thanks man, way to earn those rep points! 8)
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