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Problem I think only a few have...
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Author:  Slick85 [ Thu Sep 20, 2007 1:39 am ]
Post subject:  Problem I think only a few have...
My problem isnt getting stuck in the friends zone, that rarely happens to me unless the girl isnt that hot and i just want to be her friend... my problem is girls think im too stuck up and cocky, and not genuine enough... i feel like if i dont go CF girls wont think im interesting enough and i will just look boring... the thing is im a good looking guy, know how to dress, and have the body language down cold... in fact one girl i hooked up with said she could tell i was "cool and sexy" just be the way I carried myself and acted in front of other people... she said "you could put those other guys in your body, even the ones that are as good looking as you and they still wouldnt be as attractive".... so im thinking maybe i just need to throw regular conversations and stories in... not ones that are focused on showing DHV? thanks
Author:  BigB [ Thu Sep 20, 2007 3:48 am ]
Post subject: 
i think you can DHV and not be too cocky, there is a fine line, of when you start going over board. Try this, next few times you go out, tone down the cockyness and see how that works. Just field test different things and go from there. Also note that it depeneds on the girls that you meet. each one is going to have a different answer as to why they are into you or not.

B
Author:  Lurid [ Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Definitely don't act cocky, Iv'e tried that once on a woman, it was probably the biggest mistake of my life. Girls know whether you're serious or not, especially when you tell a story if you don't believe the story they don't believe it either. But yeah, you can DHV.


The only thing a girl wants to see is you, just be yourself.
Author:  MrHappy [ Mon Sep 24, 2007 1:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The only thing a girl wants to see is you, just be yourself.
I heard this some where prob some Joseph Matthews aka Thundercat
Don't be yourself, be the best you
(something along those lines)

The lesson is that you can't just be your goofy normal self, you have to set your strengths in the spot light. Make your goofyness the funniest thing in the world. If you are accident prone, give a warning than do a few on purpose, when they happen later you can change that all around and pretend that was on purpose.

In general, show your best side. If you can't hide your worst side, change the frame to make that an asset.
Author:  xfman [ Mon Sep 24, 2007 2:16 am ]
Post subject: 
FAQ post under the Newbie Questions section
Quote:
2. I like my best friend or/and This girls just want to be friends, I'm in the Let's Just Be Friends Zone (LJBF) -> <a href="ljbf-as-a-shit-test-or-turn-around-ljbf ... ">[u]Click Here[/u]</a> or <a href="ljbf-vt1942.html">[u]Here[/u]</a>
This is one of the common questions and problems we have.

Next time please search your question or doubt before posting.

Thanks.

Success, XF
Author:  Slick85 [ Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
FAQ post under the Newbie Questions section
Quote:
2. I like my best friend or/and This girls just want to be friends, I'm in the Let's Just Be Friends Zone (LJBF) -> <a href="ljbf-as-a-shit-test-or-turn-around-ljbf ... ">[u]Click Here[/u]</a> or <a href="ljbf-vt1942.html">[u]Here[/u]</a>
This is one of the common questions and problems we have.

Next time please search your question or doubt before posting.

Thanks.

Success, XF

I dont get stuck in the LJBF zone, i get stuck in the cocky asshole zone... that wasnt my problem which is why i said only a few have it... if your good looking and dress nice how much CF do you need?
Author:  Holden [ Mon Sep 24, 2007 10:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
I disagree that you can't be C&F. I'm a large proponent of C&F because it comes natural to me. However when using C&F there is one key factor: KEEP CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. Monitor the set/target, always gauge how your 'audience' is responding. If your good you'll know when to hold back, validate, NEG, and kino.

I base my style of of David DeAngelo. One of his other products beside Double Your Dating is a video series "On Being A Man". It shows you the characteristics of an Alpha and how to control situations.

An area where a lot of C&F fails is when the rAFC goes from being funny into goofy, then from goofy into being a clown. The last two are not layable material. How ever if you can take yourself seriously while not taking life seriously it creates that Yin-Yang paradox that women respond to emotionally.
Author:  L.A. Tripp [ Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think that's your whole key that you're missing, slick . . . field calibration. You have to be able to sense where EACH girl is, and handle her accordingly. They aren't made with a cookie cutter. You have to pay attention to the body language of each one. The words don't always match with the body language either, but putting the two together will give you a more full idea of where she is really at, and if you have stepped over the line. You CAN go overboard with the stuff.

Calibrate man, calibrate. WATCH her BODY LANGUAGE closely.
Author:  Slick85 [ Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I think that's your whole key that you're missing, slick . . . field calibration. You have to be able to sense where EACH girl is, and handle her accordingly. They aren't made with a cookie cutter. You have to pay attention to the body language of each one. The words don't always match with the body language either, but putting the two together will give you a more full idea of where she is really at, and if you have stepped over the line. You CAN go overboard with the stuff.

Calibrate man, calibrate. WATCH her BODY LANGUAGE closely.
so if she starts giving me closed BL I should start to back off the CF and go for mainly just small talk?
Author:  Holden [ Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Everything with calibrating is situational. It's not just her BL, she could be pretending to get you to back off. The idea is to shock her out of her comfort zone while appearing interesting. You maintain that interest by continuing to be C&F.

So it's not just BL, its her tone, her reactions, her EC, her flipped comments, how interested she's into your stories routines, etc. Being able to gauge is all based on field testing, we can't teach you that.

But I will say that when she's hit that point of being offended, it sets the line of how far you can go. Keep it in mind, but don't cross it, just stay slightly under it. And to bring her interest back your going to have to validate her by expressing interest in her.
Author:  Slick85 [ Wed Sep 26, 2007 2:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Everything with calibrating is situational. It's not just her BL, she could be pretending to get you to back off. The idea is to shock her out of her comfort zone while appearing interesting. You maintain that interest by continuing to be C&F.

So it's not just BL, its her tone, her reactions, her EC, her flipped comments, how interested she's into your stories routines, etc. Being able to gauge is all based on field testing, we can't teach you that.

But I will say that when she's hit that point of being offended, it sets the line of how far you can go. Keep it in mind, but don't cross it, just stay slightly under it. And to bring her interest back your going to have to validate her by expressing interest in her.
thats what I needed bro... cause sometimes I will inevitably cross the line and I need something to bring them back and not just be a cocky asshole
Author:  L.A. Tripp [ Wed Sep 26, 2007 5:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Holden. That's what I was trying to get across, in a rather unsuccesful way, lol.
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