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| Am I In the Friends Zone?! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=63867 |
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| Author: | nS-AFC [ Sat Mar 13, 2010 8:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | Am I In the Friends Zone?! |
Ok guys, I've known this girl for about 3 months now and we have become very, very close. She's an incredibly intelligent and bubbly girl. I'm doing medicine at university and its very demanding. A relationship at this moment in time would knock me off the rails (i am already incredibly lazy as it is with regards to doing work lol), so for the time being i decided "nope, i'm not going to pursue this". At first, i wasn't looking for anything really. That was then, this is now. In these 3 months I genuinely have developed a physical, intellectual and emotional attraction for her and would like things to get more serious (i feel shes worth it). The problem is, i think i may have actually fallen into the friends zone, but i don't really understand what qualifies as having fallen into the friends zone. (any thoughts?) Despite this, i do feel there is attraction displayed by her for me. She touches, fidgets, maintains great eye contact, and doesn't seem to mind playful fighting (even in public places). Even though we are really good friends I've always tried to avoid: complimenting at all (in these 3 months i've probably only told her that her hair looks nice) and giving her what she wants. On the other hand, she thinks i'm cocky and funny (sometimes i do this well, other times she thinks im about as humble as a pie lol), intelligent and i'm pretty sure she's physically attracted (I'm a nutrition and gym freak, i'm her height maybe a bit taller, but still quite vertically challenged lol). I've DHV (i play semi-professional football, musical talents etc.) and social proof (she knows I see other girls). But i can never seem to avoid flaking her, whether it be her txting me or calling me. She loves talking to me on the phone, and i like talking to her. We often end up talking about things she doesn't even discuss with friends she's known for years or her best and closest friends. Things that are very personal to her. We go to the same university and live very closeby to one another. Therefore, i always end up going home with her, and i can't avoid her presence except on the weekends and even then we'll text and call each other. It's finally got to the point, where i actually think about her even when she's not around and it's pissing me off! I WANT/NEED to tell her I like her or ask her whether she likes me, get it out the way, and examine how she responds. The fact that i genuinely like her now however, makes the prospect of rejection more annoying than it already is, and i'm worried if she says no, or "lets just be friends" it may make our relationship awkward as we will end up seeing each other almost every day without fail for lectures etc. and i'd really like to take things further. That's that. I'd say we're almost like a married couple just without the kino, kissing and sex lol (I feel there was a lot of sexual tension in the beginning, but it recently maybe starting to fizzle out). I'd like to apologise for the length of this post, but felt you guys could genuinely help with your ideas if i gave u the full story. Any comments would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks, A definite AFC lol |
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| Author: | YourFantasy [ Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Damn son... Well I would make sure you in a postion where you can date her first off. I'm quite sure in the "friends zone". Being in this zone means she will not see you in a partner/mate sence of mind. It is like dating one of you guy friends (may be a bad example, but it's all I got SPAM), it just doesn't click in your head. It is HARD and takes on average about six months to get out of. I would keep looking for lots of IOI's and display some your self very subtly. Slowly try and get closer with her and make sure that her thoughts and feeling are the same. Aswell in a PUA stance you would never want to be direct unless the situation begs for it. Doing so can scare her or make things VERY awkward. When you feel or notice she feels the same way you can escalate (slowly) when you feel the timing is proper. Side note: If it does work in your favor I would use the romantic kiss when the time calls. It's a simple Lock eye's look for a little awile lift her chin with your index finger and gently brush underneith her buttum lip with your thumb. Then go in fr the kiss. I think running a little Romance would work well with this situation and the backround of the story. Sorry for bad spelling, grammer etc.. Hope this helps, good luck man. |
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| Author: | nemosaurus [ Sat Mar 20, 2010 5:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Start pumping the kino up a little bit. When you become friends with someone there are invisible barriers that you guys put up subconsciously. Like if you first meet a girl and start the kino before the barriers are up it wont be weird if you put your arm around her or what not. But by just being friends with this girl you've set up barriers and it would be weird for you to put your arm around her or get really close to her. I'd say your best bet is to start pushing through some of these barriers. 2 steps forward and one back. Because these social barriers are up the kino escalation its going to take place over a lot longer period of time then it would with someone you just met. Keep calibrating and see how she starts to react to your touch. You say all your relationship is lacking compared to a romantic relationship is the kissing and bedroom stuff. When she starts to get more comfortable with your touch and you guys start to cuddle up and what not, make sure you have tons of tension built. you have to overpower her emotions before you go for a kiss. The emotional side of her brain will want to be with you but the logical side will stop her because she has you trapped in the friendship box. You will never forge a worthwhile relationship from convincing a girl to be with you. So don't try to talk her into dating you. The only way to really get her and have the relationship you picture in your head is to take control of her emotions. This might not all be 100% accurate but its what I've found in these situations. I hope it helps some. keep us posted on the situation I'm interested to see how it all plays out. Go get her. |
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