PUA Forum :: Frustrated and Confused

I Need Help!!!!!!!!

I live in London and recently went to a club in the Soho district. This club was the perferc place for picking up Amreican, British, and European girls. There were three dance floors, and lots of good music. The drinks were also pretty cheap.

When i entered the club i was smiling and looked confident (although i did not feel confident). Ibroke the three second rule and actually walked around the club for quite some time before approaching any women.

The first group i approached was a two-set. I walked up to them at the bar and tried to initiate a conversation. i did not want to approach them from behind because they could just turn to the bar and ignore me, so i approached one from her left. I talked to her, but by approaching her in this way, i isolated her. After a few minutes, her friend pulled her away. THis was not the only problem. With the music going so loudly, i could not even be heard (or so she said) and i could barely hear her. In any case i failed.

Author:	Sway [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:47 am ]
Post subject:	Frustrated and Confused
I Need Help!!!!!!!! I live in London and recently went to a club in the Soho district. This club was the perferc place for picking up Amreican, British, and European girls. There were three dance floors, and lots of good music. The drinks were also pretty cheap. When i entered the club i was smiling and looked confident (although i did not feel confident). Ibroke the three second rule and actually walked around the club for quite some time before approaching any women. The first group i approached was a two-set. I walked up to them at the bar and tried to initiate a conversation. i did not want to approach them from behind because they could just turn to the bar and ignore me, so i approached one from her left. I talked to her, but by approaching her in this way, i isolated her. After a few minutes, her friend pulled her away. THis was not the only problem. With the music going so loudly, i could not even be heard (or so she said) and i could barely hear her. In any case i failed. THen after a little while i apporached another two-set. this time they were dancing and i tried to dance next to them and with them. They immediatly turned around and began to ignore me. Then i once more apporached a two set, in a quieter part of teh club. I noticed this two set going everywhere together and w/o any male excorts. The danced alot and that gave me the impression that they wanted someone to dance with. So i tried and failed miserably. I need help in approaching women. Any advice will be very much appreciated. Also, how do you approach in a club setting where you cannot always be heard? Please help... i REALLY need it

Author:	North [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 12:59 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Frustrated and Confused
Quote: I Need Help!!!!!!!! I live in London and recently went to a club in the Soho district. This club was the perferc place for picking up Amreican, British, and European girls. There were three dance floors, and lots of good music. The drinks were also pretty cheap. When i entered the club i was smiling and looked confident (although i did not feel confident). I broke the three second rule ... That's why it went wrong (bold). Looked confident? No way. Stop lying to yourself. Unless you TRULY feel confident, you'll never look confident. Your body does not lie: smiling is not enough. People will instantly see you're not feeling confident a mile away. What you need to learn first is to believe that you are interesting and attractive, and by this I mean don't think you are, KNOW you are. Use the forum search tool: search for "inner game". Work very hard on that. Do some outside research on body language, as this will teach you to recognize how others perceive you and react to you, but don't think of using this knowledge for creating a false image of self-confidence, it will never work. You really need to work on your self-esteem first and foremost. There is no such thing as an easy cure for approach anxiety, sorry.

Author:	Israel [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 1:11 am ]
Post subject:
Hmmmm - I'm gonna say that yes, confidence is very important and you should definitely work your inner game - but that doesn't mean you shouldn't sarge. Fake it till you can make it. Moving sets are amongst the hardest to approach - approaching two dancing girls and starting to dance immediately says "I want to sleep with you" and they will shut you out. As for the first set - you seem to have answered one of your questions yourself. You have to make sure you're positioned well. As for the not speaking loud enough - make sure you aren't leaning in everytime she says that. Stay cool, lean back, and just talk REALLY loud. Usually though, sarging is easier in quieter parts of the club.

Author:	VanHaven [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 1:23 am ]
Post subject:
I tend to agree about your inner game. I believe having confidence in yourself and the ability to converse well is going to get a person much much further than card tricks and canned lines. A mistake a lot of people make I think

Author:	SlickRick [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 1:53 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Frustrated and Confused
Quote: I Need Help!!!!!!!! I live in London and recently went to a club in the Soho district. This club was the perferc place for picking up Amreican, British, and European girls. There were three dance floors, and lots of good music. The drinks were also pretty cheap. When i entered the club i was smiling and looked confident (although i did not feel confident). Ibroke the three second rule and actually walked around the club for quite some time before approaching any women. The first group i approached was a two-set. I walked up to them at the bar and tried to initiate a conversation. i did not want to approach them from behind because they could just turn to the bar and ignore me, so i approached one from her left. I talked to her, but by approaching her in this way, i isolated her. After a few minutes, her friend pulled her away. THis was not the only problem. With the music going so loudly, i could not even be heard (or so she said) and i could barely hear her. In any case i failed. The problem i see here is obviously the friend. You didn't disarm her. You should have instead went in w/ a general opener then charmed the friend a bit while playfully throwing out a neg or two at your target and then isolate the target and the friend will be less likely to tear her away from you since you took the time to amuse her first (A wing would be helpful at this point as well). Usually the less attractive friends will step down to the leader of the pack if they were treated nice initially by the person trying to take their friend. If they feel your not worthy they'll make it known by interupting your work.

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Author:	Havoc [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 3:04 am ]
Post subject:
yeah man just remeber you are the prize not them, and there are five hundred more out there so keep approaching nothing worthhile was ever achieved easily...but as for the first two set remember the best way to a girl is through her friend once she has served her purpose and you are ready to Isolate your target get a wing to pull the friend or try the "I have to show you something routine with a camera" but remember keep the friend in the convo until ur done with her...as for the dancing set it is somewhat predatory to approach grls dancing with out convo so next time when ur moving in on the set act like ur walking by and stop and and either neg their style with" whats with all the (item) like everyone here has that on" remember to stay balanced on ur heel like ur gonna leave any second can probally foolow up with a question opener of some sort jealous girl friend or who lies more....its all about gracefully moving into conversation so say something that u would say naturally to someone u werent picking up

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