PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Your thoughts on This DHV story
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=40977		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  -Achilles [ Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Your thoughts on This DHV story
so I've been working in story telling and DVH stories, I've come up with a few.. for now give me your opinion on this one

(I have several ways to have an excuse to tell the story)

You know Grisu (popular nightclub), the one people say you get lost? well it ain't a myth haha.. First time there I'm talking to some girls and in a moment I leave them to go to the bathroom.. I go and come back.. 'mmm I'm not were I wanted to be...' go up a couple stairs.. 'aha and neither I am now!' I find my friends and one of them goes to get a drink.. byebye man haha an hour later we find him with the girls from earlier who were looking for me.. I was sick of the place so I tell the guys to go all of us to the hotel.. Oh! (at this point I go as if I just remembered the other part of the story and want to share it with them) when we get out I find my best friend having this discussion with a couple of guys.. Things were already kind of bad so I go in trying to calm them both down.. the chump starts fighting me! I mean wtf? I notice he starts comming closer,, I was waiting quietly there for him when a cop showed up and the guys vanished..


so... take your best shot at this story uh? no mercy please, I need this point to improve
Author:  They Call Me Smooth [ Fri Mar 06, 2009 8:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
What part of that story is "Higher Value"? The only thing I got from that was you took girls to a club, got lost and almost got in a fight. I mean it's kind of a funny story but I don't see how it sets you on a higher plain then any other guy.
Author:  Re.Active [ Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:02 am ]
Post subject: 
to tell you the truth i liked reading it
and i smirked at the losing yourself part
but i think that could even be a DLV and thats not what you want is it haha

i see how you tried to promote ..leader of men, and ladies man into the story

so yeh it does have all teh things to it but i just find it a bit odd cos its not in a conversational piece if you get me.. like

after the story if i was the hb id be like ... okay,...soooo?

but hey that just cos i dont know the convo topics before hand
Author:  RAYN [ Sun Mar 08, 2009 4:02 am ]
Post subject: 
honestly, I had a hard time following what you were saying. I could definitely imagine a girl with higher value being bored listening to this.
Author:  -Achilles [ Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well first of all thank you all for your replys

and second of all,,,
Quote:
What part of that story is "Higher Value"? The only thing I got from that was you took girls to a club, got lost and almost got in a fight. I mean it's kind of a funny story but I don't see how it sets you on a higher plain then any other guy.
Here are the spikes I tried to convey in the story: Preselected as after I got lost the girls were looking for me after an hour; Leader as we go out at my request (maybe I should redo that part to convey it harder); Protector as I don't hesitate to stand for my best friend; Calm and controled as I don't lost it as soon as the chump starts attacking me. Also the part were I get lost conveys sense of humor as I quote myself in a humorous way..

If you have some tips for the story I'd appreciate it. It's obvious that if you didn't saw the DHV spikes at first glance, they need to be polished.
Quote:
to tell you the truth i liked reading it
and i smirked at the losing yourself part
but i think that could even be a DLV and thats not what you want is it haha

i see how you tried to promote ..leader of men, and ladies man into the story

so yeh it does have all teh things to it but i just find it a bit odd cos its not in a conversational piece if you get me.. like

after the story if i was the hb id be like ... okay,...soooo?

but hey that just cos i dont know the convo topics before hand
I might see how it would not be the most auspicious of DHVs, but how can it be a DLV?

Obviously I wont use the story for an opener haha or any time after I open.. as it is kind of a long story I will use it later, after the hook point and being all the obstacles befriended..

as for what you were saying.. here (Argentina) practically every senior student goes to Bariloche as a farewell for school.. that's were Grisu is located so when we start that specific thread in a (lets say) 3 set, I can assure you at least one of them will have something to follow that up, be it a commentary or a story for themselves..
Quote:
honestly, I had a hard time following what you were saying. I could definitely imagine a girl with higher value being bored listening to this.
you did? that's funny.. maybe cos the original story is in spanish and I didn't translate it very well..

and to avoid boredom, as TCMS was saying, I should polish the spikes and add some more tension to the story
Author:  miiiiichael [ Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:35 am ]
Post subject: 
definetely has potential. good work
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/