I get this all the time and normally i DLV myself
(i know can can be an IOI?)What would be your responses?
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| Response to: "Why don't you have a girlfriend"?? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=38644 |
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| Author: | yadecin [ Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Response to: "Why don't you have a girlfriend"?? |
I get this all the time and normally i DLV myself (i know can can be an IOI?)What would be your responses?
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| Author: | LEPRECHAUN [ Tue Feb 03, 2009 5:49 pm ] |
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"Why don't you have a girlfriend?"... can also be read as: "Do you have a girlfriend?" Which in fact is a IOI. You can always tell them this: "I have had girlfriends, I just haven't meet the right one. You want me to be single anyways, so you can have me, you like me!!! Or this: "I almost had a psychic as a GF but she broke up with me before we met." "I just don't want one." "I'm surprised that you want to date me. What do you have going for you that might make me want to date 'YOU'?" |
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| Author: | ace_of_spades [ Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:16 pm ] |
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I find that prevetion is better than cure. Let's face it: today, pretty much everybody's seeing someone. Mentioning a girlfriend, even if you're not formally dating a girl, is one of the best disqualifiers ever. It makes it a lot less threatening and predatory and hell, if you're cool enough, it's not gonna stop her. The key is to come out with the 'girlfriend' line before she mentions a boyfriend. It's hilarious to see, every single set I run, the first time I mention my girlfriend, the instant response is 'that reminds me of when me and MY BOYFRIEND/THE GUY I'M SEEING did XYZ...' . It's easy to employ what IN10SE calls 'The Satan Frame' afterwards, when something happens (a kiss, a date, a fuck, whatever): 'You are soo bad... I feel unjustly seduced. For some reason I find you very hard to resist... wow, you are soooo evil...'. There again, it may work better with my game - most of my stories and in-set communication revolves around my promiscuity and how much of an asshole I am. Still, it works, and for reasons unexplained, the girls find themselves wanting to 'tame the badboy'... Hmm... I should probably write a more detailed post on this  . Stay tuned.
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| Author: | V1V [ Tue Feb 03, 2009 6:47 pm ] |
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Quote: I find that prevetion is better than cure. Let's face it: today, pretty much everybody's seeing someone.
Nice. Mentioning a girlfriend, even if you're not formally dating a girl, is one of the best disqualifiers ever. It makes it a lot less threatening and predatory and hell, if you're cool enough, it's not gonna stop her. The key is to come out with the 'girlfriend' line before she mentions a boyfriend. It's hilarious to see, every single set I run, the first time I mention my girlfriend, the instant response is 'that reminds me of when me and MY BOYFRIEND/THE GUY I'M SEEING did XYZ...' . It's easy to employ what IN10SE calls 'The Satan Frame' afterwards, when something happens (a kiss, a date, a fuck, whatever): 'You are soo bad... I feel unjustly seduced. For some reason I find you very hard to resist... wow, you are soooo evil...'. There again, it may work better with my game - most of my stories and in-set communication revolves around my promiscuity and how much of an asshole I am. Still, it works, and for reasons unexplained, the girls find themselves wanting to 'tame the badboy'... Hmm... I should probably write a more detailed post on this . Stay tuned.Likely its a shit test. I would definately hoop her on this tbh. hb: Why dont you have a girlfriend? pua: guess Now your testing her. You should be able to calibrate on her response, and get an accurate idea of what she thinks of you. If she says she doesnt know then great. pua: do you really want to know? hb: yes pua: I just got out of a LTR. Im thinking of staying single for a while. |
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| Author: | daggaz [ Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:28 pm ] |
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I often take the "looking for the right girl" but I add an extra step: "I've had tons of girlfriends, but I keep breaking up with them. They are never the right one." Its DHV on multiple points, preselection, Im the one dumping them, and instead of me looking (implies you cant find her, which fixes a negative to you), it is the girlfriends who simply arent good enough for me, which reinforces the second statement. Then you can disqualify yourself immediately with "Shit, I should just try being single for once. I think I will go monk for a while, it must be nice with a bit of peace and quiet." |
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| Author: | AJB4 [ Tue Feb 03, 2009 11:36 pm ] |
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Look at her with a straight face and say "Because I'm gay" Then she will bust out laughin' then just say I haven't found the right one yet |
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| Author: | Solomon II [ Wed Feb 04, 2009 12:10 am ] |
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If you're being honest with a girl about what you want from her in the first place, she won't be asking you this question. Quote: Mentioning a girlfriend, even if you're not formally dating a girl, is one of the best disqualifiers ever. It makes it a lot less threatening and predatory and hell, if you're cool enough, it's not gonna stop her. The key is to come out with the 'girlfriend' line before she mentions a boyfriend.
Telling her you have a GF is the worst way to disqualify yourself. That's just wrong, there are better ways to disqualify yourself if you really feel like you need to do that. I mean come on, straight up lying to her like that? I thought we were better than this. You're lying to her to make yourself look preselected and take down all her defenses when it's completely unnecessary. And what happens later when you get comfy and she says she can't do anything because you have a GF? Are you just gonna tell her more lies about how you and your fictitious GF are going through a rough patch, or are you gonna fold and tell her you only said it so she wouldn't think you were hitting on her? That kind of honesty at this point will get you a seriously bad reaction and you'll fuck it, so your only viable option is to just pile on the lies. Tut tut.Oh yeah, and as for throwing this little gem in before she goes for the BF defense, that's a clear sign that something is up with your inner game. It's like you're expecting to fail and you need to throw in a pre-emptive contingency plan. From my experience I never got BF-carded using indirect approaches so you shouldn't even be thinking about this. It'll only happen if you ass around for too long and she decides she wants to be just friends, and has to let you down gently. This is 100% honest, constructive criticism. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your game as a whole, but these aspects certainly need some consideration. Quote: "I've had tons of girlfriends, but I keep breaking up with them. They are never the right one."
Maaaan no, you're getting completely defensive by saying this kind of stuff. A rich man doesn't have to tell you he's rich; if you blab on about all the girls you've had and how you have to keep breaking up with them she's gonna be thinking "yeah right" or "wow this guy is full of himself". If she's into you and doesn't think that stuff, and her self esteem is even a little bit low, she'll just assume you're gonna break up with her cos she isn't good enough for you. Minus points.Its DHV on multiple points, preselection, Im the one dumping them, and instead of me looking (implies you cant find her, which fixes a negative to you), it is the girlfriends who simply arent good enough for me, which reinforces the second statement. So let's say she's completely normal and healthy, and this happens to get her qualifying, I hope to hell you genuinely want a relationship with her, cos otherwise you're stringing her along and being a lying ass. Minus points again. |
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| Author: | LEPRECHAUN [ Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:21 am ] |
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I have to add this in to give Solomon II his cred... I agree with his entire post. /endcreditgiving |
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| Author: | Maf-PbC [ Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:23 pm ] |
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I usually say something like I havent met anyone descent, cant make something out of nothing you know.(that way it covers up any possible curiosity of why your single and or reason). Clean and to the point. Then Ill usually rebuttle after that with a line calling them out of why they need to know...ex: (while walking away) Now you can check that up in your personal notes "He is single". My idea is not to qualify my answer to them. Alot of dudes will go on giving a 60 second summary of why it didnt work out and they are single. More than likely unless your smart amongst what is said in a answer like that a woman will pick up the BS. Keep it simple, simple question, simple answer! |
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| Author: | Stormy [ Wed Feb 04, 2009 6:50 pm ] |
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"I don't want one. I've never really understood the point of tying myself to one person like that." It subcommunicates sexual abundance (or "preselection," for those of you who prefer that term), which is way, way better than communicating it directly (which smacks of insecurity). Who would say something like this, other than a guy who gets laid a lot, and honestly does not understand the point of a monogamous relationship? A guy who says that doesn't judge people who are in monogamous relationships, but isn't interested in one himself. This guy is also obviously non-judgmental about sex. For him, a relationship is all about emotions and commitment and stuff, and sex is something you do for fun. Sex is no big deal, relationships are. This is NOT the kind of guy who gets himself a girlfriend for steady, guaranteed sex. He's also probably not a cheater. If he were to tell you that he's "waiting for someone special," it would be impossible to take it any other way than very, very seriously. Does this seem like the guy who chases tail? Probably not. He just goes out and has fun, and hooks up with girls as a matter of course. He's probably not even aware that other guys don't get laid as much as he does. It's simply his reality that girls like him. And if he IS feeling randy, he doesn't feel the need to "game girls up." He just goes over and TAKES them. As far as he's concerned, there is no such thing as a girl who isn't attracted to him. There are only girls who haven't met him yet. And while all of this is going on, he's not smug about any of it. None of this makes him "better" than anyone else. This is just his reality. |
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| Author: | The Big Bad Wolf [ Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:30 pm ] |
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Here's one I heard from an interview in David D's series of interviews with Brad P, I think: "No, actually I have 7... and I'm looking for a girlfriend no. 8" to which they will usually go "but I want to be no 1" -"Ok, no 6. then, and that's being really nice." -(Whatever, want to be no. 1) - "Ok, you can be no 3, but that's my final offer, and don't tell the others, because they will get mad jealous." to which they will usually agree. This also allows for re-opening her within a set with "Hey, I don't know if you guys know, but we're boyfriend and girlfriend now, and I'd like to have some alone time with my girlfriend."... 
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| Author: | daggaz [ Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:23 am ] |
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Quote: Quote: "I've had tons of girlfriends, but I keep breaking up with them. They are never the right one."
Maaaan no, you're getting completely defensive by saying this kind of stuff. A rich man doesn't have to tell you he's rich; if you blab on about all the girls you've had and how you have to keep breaking up with them she's gonna be thinking "yeah right" or "wow this guy is full of himself". If she's into you and doesn't think that stuff, and her self esteem is even a little bit low, she'll just assume you're gonna break up with her cos she isn't good enough for you. Minus points.Its DHV on multiple points, preselection, Im the one dumping them, and instead of me looking (implies you cant find her, which fixes a negative to you), it is the girlfriends who simply arent good enough for me, which reinforces the second statement. So let's say she's completely normal and healthy, and this happens to get her qualifying, I hope to hell you genuinely want a relationship with her, cos otherwise you're stringing her along and being a lying ass. Minus points again. You can even take it a step further, and be honest about how really its not about somebody being totally perfect, its more about somebody you really get along with and can accept and love, etc etc... which again is the truth for me, and I hope is the truth for a lot of other people. If her self esteem is "a bit low" Damn, first off Im probably not going to try to score the girl period. Dont know where your values lie, but Im shootin a bit higher there, buddy. If anything, I try to boost her up a bit and be friendly, but Im way past hooking up with sorry girls, so we dont even get that far into situation. As for the second situation... I am always looking for a real and fulfilling relationship. Its far more preferable to gangbanging broken people in clubs. Minus points? Bite my ass for assuming only the worst about me. Not to mention, bite my ass for being the high and mighty, chewing me out for something i am not currently doing, like youve never done it before and like its not how you got to where you are now. Seriously dude, gas out. |
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| Author: | -Achilles [ Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:35 pm ] |
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O-k.. we might wanna stop that particular thread before it even begins.. there are PMs for that stuff right? as for the original subject, I like mixing jokes a bit followed by the straight answer, e.g. "I'm still looking for Mr. Right, haven't found him yet.. naaw I've been dating this girl for a couple of weeks but I'm thinking of stop seeing her, it's just not working" of something like that, I don't get that question that much so I dont have a very good answer yet |
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| Author: | Solomon II [ Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:19 pm ] |
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Quote: So a girl I dont know incredibly well, but I am attracted to, pops me this question. Whats a funny way to answer her truthfully? How about what I just wrote.
The vast majority of the people - and it's a lot of people - I've met in my time have all followed similar patterns when it came to dealing with others. Based on that, I assumed a few things about what you suggested - including the tonality. I can see now that you meant it to come across in a lighthearted and humourous way, and that's fine. I have no issues with that. I just didn't get that impression, either because 99% of the people who do say that kinda stuff don't come across that way, or because I'm an asshole. As for assuming the worst in you, you have to forgve me for that. I've gotten into a habit of doing it cos it turns out I'm somehow actually right most of the time.
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| Author: | Chino Kapone [ Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:37 pm ] |
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Some great answers in here by some talented guys. The times I have gotten this are generally when we have built comfort and are getting to know each other, or we are making out or about to fu... Anyway, I believe my answer is really easy to transition to a k-close. HB: "Why don't you have a GF?" CK: "I am a really selective person, so when I find someone I am into, I go for it....." Bite your lip, look into her eyes... and the tension should be enough to start a hot make out session. CK |
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