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| *Nice guy* image conflicting with attraction https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=29955 |
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| Author: | LeonWheels [ Sun Oct 12, 2008 7:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | *Nice guy* image conflicting with attraction |
I'm new to this community and art/science, and have an issue that seems to be recurring. I've always had the look and mannerisms of a "nice guy." As such, I come accross as more interested in friendship, or I get the dreaded "you're like an older brother" line. The trouble is, now that I'm attempting to DHV and neg, etc., I feel like I'm coming across as trying too hard. This has been confirmed by a wing who was out with me recently. To fight my innate persona, I'm overcompensating on neg'ing and perhaps even in my image as a whole. This was quite apparent last night when I went a little overboard neg'ing an HB7 and simply came off as a jerk. Whatever I'm doing wrong, its definitly being broadcast by my body language. How can I maintain the positives of being a nice guy (comfort and trust building) while still appearing to be Alpha and sexually viable? Thanks, LeonW |
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| Author: | daggaz [ Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:04 am ] |
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first off, what were some of the negs you used, specifically? second, a neg should always be said with a humorous attitude. Its a subtle little knock that will take a girl down a notch, but you don't want to bruise her too badly. If you sound too serious, you come off as a jerk (as you well know), so you have to disguise the hit somewhat. One of the best ways (and this is how Mystery originally defines the neg) is to form it as an off-handed compliment, rather than a direct hit. To use the common example, "Ha ha, your nose wiggles when you laugh! That is so cute!" Its not some kind of mean-spirited put down, you are more teasing her a little, but its enough to take a lot of girls down a peg as they do concern themselves so heavily with their appearance. A lot of guys are posting negs on this board, that without a master-level delivery, would come off as just down right fucked up. Even with an oscar winning performance, its going to be tight, and the slightest fuckup is going to generate pure animosity between you two, or even get you slapped in the face. I doubt they've actually been field tested, really I think theres a lot of new folks who don't quite get the concept and we end up with some threads that are just basically a game of "who can find the most smart-assed put-downs" which isnt good game at all. Be careful what you pick up, if it seems just way too mean and doesn't match your own personality, then dont use it. |
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| Author: | don_romantiko [ Sun Oct 12, 2008 5:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: *Nice guy* image conflicting with attraction |
Quote: "you're like an older brother" line.
reply with "aww.. and your like my little sister.. Do you believe in incest?" xD This one I've used a couple of times with success.. Negging has been my problem as well.. Find the suitable 'neg style' that you could use with your personality.. If your a good guy, maybe try and play with the 'mysterious' effect or something.. trial and error dude, find what works for you.. |
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| Author: | LeonWheels [ Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:13 pm ] |
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Quote: first off, what were some of the negs you used, specifically?
Well, that's where I feel like I'm floundering. I'm trying to play C&F and just give her a hard time while being funny. Just can't pull it off just yet I suppose,  . Any good character studies out there to find a balance?Leon |
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