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| Please opinionate on my DHV story https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=25547 |
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| Author: | gravesRR7 [ Mon Jul 28, 2008 9:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Please opinionate on my DHV story |
This is my first official attempt at writing a DHV story. Please give me a bit of feedback so that I can improve it, and write others. This is mostly true. It's called the DMB Necklace story. HB: Where did you get that necklace This is actually a really good story. Back in high school, I had this friend, Cate. She was this really beautiful girl who I ran cross country with.. I introduced her and my best friend, and they actually ended up dating for a couple of years. Anyway, they frequently hung out with me and MY girlfriend. We all got to be this great foursome of friends. Cate and I had this tradition of going out every Wednesday, we called it our ‘awesome friend’ date. I love DMB, I’ve always said, I’ll know my wife when I meet her, because she’ll be a DMB fan, and a runner. Well Cate hated DMB. To each their own right? Well when we went out together, I normally drove, and after a while, she heard DMB in my car so much, that she really started to like it. I think we both associated it with all of the good times we had together. Later that summer a bunch of my friends and I were going to Hartford for a two-day DMB concert, and she was coming up on the second night. Well, I had a friend from NY who couldn’t make it, and he gave me his 13th row seat which I shared with Cate, while everyone else was up on the lawn. We had such a great time, just the two of us, and we really bonded that night. After that she really started liking their music. Fast forward a bit: we all went to different colleges. She was an art major, and she came to visit me for my birthday. She made this for me as one of her projects in school. This is the DMB symbol, the firedancer, it’s called the Dancing-8. If you look at it sideways, it’s the symbol for infinity. She told me that it’s for our infinite lasting friendship. DHV Spikes: -Introduced my friend to his girlfriend (leader of men) -I had a girlfriend (preselected) -I drove (Leader) -I have high value friends who give me good concert tickets -I have beautiful women who drive to visit me |
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| Author: | Infamous110 [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 1:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Tooooo long. Imagine a girl approaches you and asks... She will leave before you finished. It was an OPENER. Also, if you can, you want to leave gaps for more questions if anything. "A good friend gave it to me before she moved away for always being there for her. It's great to know you mean a lot to your friends, don't you think?" |
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| Author: | gravesRR7 [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 5:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
good call man. I went out tonight and tried it a few times. It works well, but it is too long. By cutting the fat out of it, and leaving it open ended in places, it gives her a chance to ask the details if she's interested. This is not an opener by the way. It's intended to be used as a routine once already in set |
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| Author: | Lestat [ Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
It's definitely too long for only five spikes. I've written DHV stories that have three or four spikes in just a few sentences. Create a much shorter version of the story which leaves many questions unanswered so they will press for more information - it leaves you looking mysterious and you can have the girl(s) jump through a few hoops in exchange for hearing the rest of the details. |
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| Author: | Max Rockatansky [ Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Please opinionate on my DHV story |
Quote: This is my first official attempt at writing a DHV story. Please give me a bit of feedback so that I can improve it, and write others. This is mostly true. It's called the DMB Necklace story.
Just say:HB: Where did you get that necklace This is actually a really good story. Back in high school, I had this friend, Cate. She was this really beautiful girl who I ran cross country with.. I introduced her and my best friend, and they actually ended up dating for a couple of years. Anyway, they frequently hung out with me and MY girlfriend. We all got to be this great foursome of friends. Cate and I had this tradition of going out every Wednesday, we called it our ‘awesome friend’ date. I love DMB, I’ve always said, I’ll know my wife when I meet her, because she’ll be a DMB fan, and a runner. Well Cate hated DMB. To each their own right? Well when we went out together, I normally drove, and after a while, she heard DMB in my car so much, that she really started to like it. I think we both associated it with all of the good times we had together. Later that summer a bunch of my friends and I were going to Hartford for a two-day DMB concert, and she was coming up on the second night. Well, I had a friend from NY who couldn’t make it, and he gave me his 13th row seat which I shared with Cate, while everyone else was up on the lawn. We had such a great time, just the two of us, and we really bonded that night. After that she really started liking their music. Fast forward a bit: we all went to different colleges. She was an art major, and she came to visit me for my birthday. She made this for me as one of her projects in school. This is the DMB symbol, the firedancer, it’s called the Dancing-8. If you look at it sideways, it’s the symbol for infinity. She told me that it’s for our infinite lasting friendship. DHV Spikes: -Introduced my friend to his girlfriend (leader of men) -I had a girlfriend (preselected) -I drove (Leader) -I have high value friends who give me good concert tickets -I have beautiful women who drive to visit me HB: Where did you get that necklace You: My friend made it for me, she says it's the symbol for everlasting freindship. Says the same thing, and leaves open loops. Max |
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