Field tested. Not as an opener but as playful negs.
So after the club on saturday night, I wasn't through with "gaming."
Me and my wingman walked into a 24 hour breakfast/lunch/dinner restaurant which had about 4 sets of drunk tipsy/drunk guys and only 1 set had one female in them. Our waitress, a cute 5'8'' short haired blonde (i'd give her about a  , a cross between an elisha cuthbert and gwen stefani, is serving 2 of the 4 tables plus me and my wing. Both her tables she was serving was constantly bombarding her with compliments and small talk (the usual whats you're name, do you have a boyfriend, etc). As she comes up to our table to greet and get drink orders, we have about 10 seconds of no reaction or response, appearing to be too preoccupied with the menu.
Waitress: Hi my name is emilia, can I start you off with an appetizer sampler and some drinks?
(10 second silence)
Wing: I'll have a water
Me: Make that two.
Waitress comes back with water after a minute.
Wing: Are you wearing male pants?
Waitress: No why
Wing: because your zipper is unzipped.
Waitress: *Looks down smiles and looks back up.* Good one!
Me: You are sooo gullible. You haven't been a waitress too long have you?
Waitress: about 6 months.
Me: I knew it. All those guys over there flirt and compliment you because you look good. And I know that you flirt back so that you can milk the tip from them. I used to be a waiter so you really can't lie or pull any tricks on me cuz I used to do the same exact thing.
Waitress: *licks lips*
Me: I'll tell you what. *I pull out 6 dollars*. Here is your potential tip, and if I catch you not smiling, forgetting something, or not keeping our waters at least half way filled; you will lose a dollar every time!
Waitress: *Fat smile and takes our orders*.
The waitress comes to our table twice to fill up our waters before the meal comes. When she does deliver the meals she stays for a bit and make fluff talk small talk. I stack different routines: jokes, DHV, cocky funny etc.) At this point I get at least 5 IOI's and the other tables of arrogant drunk take notice. One of the tables directly asks for her number on the way out and gets rejected.
While we're paying our tab. On the merchant copy receipt I do what I call the hangman number close. (Never field tested before, just thought of at the moment)
Me: Hey!, this is how you know you did at least a decent job on serving our table.
Waitress: Whats this do I have to guess the word?
Me: Pretty much.
Waitress: You are full of guesses. *fails the attempt*
Me: *re-do the hangman but this time I make it more obvious:
(_ _ _) _ _ _ - _ _ _ _
Waitress: You are so cute!! *picks at my dimples) for the 3rd time. and writes down her number*
The waitress earned 4 dollars out of the 6. And we left the diner being stared at by the other tables. =)
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