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Reversing a basic IOI to your advantage!
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Author:  Diaz [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  Reversing a basic IOI to your advantage!
We all know that when a HB imitates you (like say you lean back, she leans back etc.) its a definate IOI, but have you ever thought why this is?

I really hadn't and I actually intentionally avoided doing things she did (after all that would've been an IOI and I didn't want to tell her I was too interested!)

But now, lets think about it for a moment.. There's a 99% probability she won't consciously read "imitating" her as an IOI.. But Unconsciously, she will!

I did some research on the behavioral mechanisms behind this IOI. Turns out that we humans have sort of a built-in "mechanism" that helps us connect and build rapport with other people by mirroring (imitating) each others! This explains why imitating your moves is an IOI, but also points out that you can build rapport with her by mirroring her aswell! There are numerous studies proving this effect (even small babies like those adults best who play the imitating game with them!)

So atleast I'm going to add a little mirroring (don't over do it!) to my routines!

All feedback and thoughts welcome :)

(If you want to read more about this stuff, grab some reading about mirror-cells)
Author:  Lestat [ Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
No, no no. No, just... just no, okay?

Yes, EVERYONE knows that mirroring is the result of a good rapport - including AFCs. A lot of AFCs intentionally mirror to try to force a rapport, so many girls see mirroring as a DLV and an attempt to trick them into liking you, unless the mirroring occurs at a perfectly natural time, in which case you'll do it anyway without thinking.

Well I guess if you don't over do it and time it well it'll work, but if you just don't think about it it'd probably happen naturally anyway.

Experiment with it a little bit, and if it works let us know and you'll have my full apologies, but I recally reading before about AFC's doing this and it hurting the chances further, though I can't remember where I read it.
Author:  Diaz [ Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Yes, you are right, mirroring has to be very subtle, so that a girl will only notice it unconsciously.
Quote:
so many girls see mirroring as a DLV and an attempt to trick them into liking you,
You sure? I mean that girls know what the mirroring actually means? I actually think that most don't. Ofcourse you'll come off looking like a jackass if you turn the subtle mirroring into obvious imitation.
Quote:
unless the mirroring occurs at a perfectly natural time, in which case you'll do it anyway without thinking.
What I was doing earlier was consciously avoid these natural mirrorings, and that is what I will change in the future, let the natural mirrorings happen and maybe every now and then do it intentionally as well (subtle is keyword here) ;)
Quote:
Experiment with it a little bit, and if it works let us know and you'll have my full apologies,
Sure, will see in the future, though analysing if it really made a difference might be quite tough ;)

But thanks for the input!
Author:  slyder2412 [ Sun Jun 29, 2008 7:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
I had this lingering thought for awhile of "what if they notice what i'm doing?"...it will be seen as manipulative and that's no good. Now a days i believe and am pretty sure that MOST people don't have a fucking clue. I used to also feel very uncomfortable when chilling with friends and i know THEY are aware of mirroring and what not and since i'm become a lot better at reading BL i'd see what they were doing...and they weren't too good so it was very obvious. I used to think "they are trying to bullshit me and artificially manipulate me" but then i thought "well they are just trying to understand me better, that can't be a bad thing".

Now a days i will usually remain in the mirrored position(i'm sure we are both aware of it) but it is no longer as uncomfortable(still is a little). But then again i had a boss that i discussed all this information with...and for some reason there was something off about him so the next time we had one of our "conversations" i continually saw him trying to mirror me in which case i changed my position and he'd follow me.....that wasn't comfortable at all.

Anyway....when you want mirroring to enhance rapport....you can BEGIN the interaction by mirroring THEM, but soon you want them to mirror you(pacing and THEN leading). When you're leading their BL, subconsciously you're the dominant one, and that's DEFINITELY what you want.
Author:  Chill84 [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 2:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Women not only know what mirroring is. They consider consciously mirroring a guy a way of flirting with him.
Author:  Risen [ Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Anyways why did you post this question on this thread wedding-crasher?? But dude, seriously go bone her...right now. I don't care...you obviously shared something that night so you gotta act fast before she leaves and your window of opportunity closes. What do you have to lose?? You said you havent seen her for 2 years and shes going away for a while. Man up and meet up with her again before she leaves and try to f-close her! Make up some excuse like "It was short and sweet seeing you the other night, lets hang out sometime before you leave". You got it dude :P
Author:  wildchild [ Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I remember reading one of those '10 ways you can tell guys secretly like you' articles in a housemates Cosmo or some equally intellectual read, and Mirroring was there. Prominantly.

Its common knowledge, like how in lads mags they all say 'If she plays with her hair your in!!!'
Author:  porktinez [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 6:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Try introducing a little mirroring after you've built attraction and you are trying to build comfort. At this point mirroring looks way more natural and trustworthy. It's just good communication at this point. Do the opposite of mirroring in the beginning. Make her earn your interest
Author:  Sexcellent [ Tue Jul 22, 2008 4:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
i've noticed that when i'm gaming a girl and i remember to talk slow and articulated like mystery, the girls start talking that way to me without realizing it. i definitely think that is an ioi.
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