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No sex, confusing justification
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Author:  matthewstaony [ Sat Feb 14, 2015 11:08 am ]
Post subject:  No sex, confusing justification

Guys I need help with a girl I've been seeing on and off for a couple of months now.

After managing to get her back after she gave me the let's just be friends speech (guess I was too needy/clingy, making her feel like she was losing her freedom), we spent a few nights together over the last couple of weeks, with her growing progressively colder sexually speaking. Last time we saw each other she just wanted to kiss and hug, adamantly refusing any further action and saying she realized her feelings towards me were pure, that she thought I would understand, that I should see that as a good thing and that she was extremely happy when she realized she felt that way towards me, since it's very rare and so on.

Not sure if I overreacted here, but I just told her that we should call it a night and made her understand she should leave, which she did after a while. It's now been 5 days since I last heard from her. What do you think I should do? Reach out to her or just let her go and see what happens? I really like this girl and it's getting harder and harder to stay away from her.

Any advice is much appreciated :|

Author:  WillEdward [ Sun Feb 15, 2015 2:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: No sex, confusing justification

Did you guys already have sex?

Author:  Dr. Spargenator [ Sun Feb 15, 2015 4:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: No sex, confusing justification

its ruined. try ss. that would PROBABLY do the trick. other than that. move on.

Author:  matthewstaony [ Sun Feb 15, 2015 11:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: No sex, confusing justification

Quote:
Did you guys already have sex?
Not since we started seeing each other again. Just oral sex.
Quote:
its ruined. try ss. that would PROBABLY do the trick. other than that. move on.
I'll try. What if she reaches out to me, like she did after she blew me off the first time? Should I try and organize a get together or is it hopeless?

Author:  Dr. Spargenator [ Sun Feb 15, 2015 1:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: No sex, confusing justification

no if she reaches out to u again then ya talk to her. if i was you id let her organize the get together. you need to act like you don't care anymore. she will sense that higher value in the back of her mind and may reach out to u. don't text her unless she texts u. and when she does just act polite, but not as interested. if you can learn how to do ss thats a really good trick. most people have never tried it so they think it doesn't work. but its good, I've used it. btw. welcome to the forum. i hope this is the start of a great journey.

Author:  matthewstaony [ Sun Feb 15, 2015 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: No sex, confusing justification

Thanks!

What's SS exactly? Just googled it up and it stands for speed seduction apparently?

Author:  Dr. Spargenator [ Sun Feb 15, 2015 10:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: No sex, confusing justification

It's hypnosis. Basically you say something to put her in a light trance. And then you go on to vividly describe the emotion you want her to feel. In this case that emotion would be love. You'll need to explain every detail of her mental process to access that state. You need to research this stuff. It should take u about a week to learn if you try hard enough.

Author:  sarabellum [ Sat May 30, 2015 7:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: No sex, confusing justification

Quote:
It's hypnosis. And then you go on to vividly describe the emotion you want her to feel. In this case that emotion would be love. You'll need to explain every detail of her mental process to access that state. You need to research this stuff.
Hypnosis is suggestion. It only works on persons who are easily persuaded. The OP is the best diagnostician of what's going on with this kookie female. She's giving him blowjobs but now acting coldly. The OP feels that he has shown too much AFFECTION and expressed too much of his FEELINGS, i.e. "needy." Suggesting more "love" to her is counter-productive as she is a flake and opportunist- and already senses that she has more power/value than he does. This girl is selfish, using him for free drinks/outings and does not want to completely satisfy him with vaginal sex. Trying to suggest more love will cause her to lose all interest. This is a mania relationship, where the girl is manipulating the OP.

There is no such thing as "needy." All humans have needs. It's the need for sex that is at the base of Maslow's hierarchy, which motivates this forum, sex with women. Behavior Modification may be a better approach for the OP. He has already rewarded her for oral sex, but her behavior is inappropriate- withdrawing from him + keeping him on the string as a backup. Since the girl is too mentally ill to just talk to him openly about her wants, the OP is in the position of having to "manage" her. DHV is behavior modification, because it taps into her narcissistic/opportunistic wants. DHV here would be punishment: to stop seeking her out and withdraw from her. Her hamster, i.e. rationalization, will start to wonder, "where is he? Am I no longer attractive and with a pretty woman? I'm so fat. I don't care...I have Joe, Tony, Rick....I'm so fat. My life is a mess."

Make her pursue you. If she texts you for small talk, answer her text late with fewer words. If she calls, return her call late, keep it short. Make her plan the get together. However, in my experience, girls like this are trying to get a bigger wallet to drain. Dump her.

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