I like it, but not until you are already hooked into the set. It's a little long, and a little unbelievable (Ninja Turtle?)
Other then that, with the right inflections and a bit of dramatic play up I think it could be pretty nice!
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| Really good DHV story https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=17598 |
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| Author: | NickRicca [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Really good DHV story |
Hey whatsup guys... i was surfing around looking for DHV story type of stuff and i found this on some website some where i really liked it but it need some small revisions to make it your own but the basis is good... "Hey, you remind me of my old friend Shelby. Shelby used to throw the best parties... God damn, I miss her parties. She was in a band, so they always had the best live music. And her brother ran promotions for some big liquor distributor, so she always had that top shelf stuff that's not even on the market yet. There was this one time, not this last Halloween, but the Halloween before that. Shelby was having a party, and she's a total wildchild. She's in the bathroom with a bunch of friends doing... whatever. You know how it is, rich party girl always popping pills... Well, I don't know if you know how it is... But you know what I mean. I'm sure you've watched The OC. Anyway, I'm in a backroom down the hall playing a game of poker. And I'm losing my shirt, like literally. I'm getting my ass kicked so I'm stripped down to like my boxer briefs and a left sock. Now I didn't hear anything, but you know how you girls can pick up on high pitch sounds that us guys can't. Yeah, you girls can hear when another girl is screaming. Well all the girls at the poker table jump up yelling, "OMG, someone's screaming fire!" I'm thinking no way. The smoke detectors didn't even go off. But then I remembered they'd all been pulled them from the wall because everyone was smoking in the house. So me and all these other half naked people come running out the back room. The bathroom door flies open, and all these drugged up girls come piling out. Inside the floormat and the shower curtain have all gone up in flames. There's some dude dressed like a Ninja Turtle waiting to use the bathroom, just standing there like a total idiot. I'm like, "Dude, go find a fire extinguisher." I turn back to the fire. Aparently some girl dressed up like Marylin Monroe was trying to light some incense and lit her wig on fire. She threw it on the ground, which lit the floormat on fire, which in turn set the shower curtain to flames. Now the Ninja Turtle who was supposed to find a fire extinguisher hasn't come back yet. The party's still going, the music's still blaring and now the flames have reached the ceiling. Shelby's on the floor crying, begging for someone to do something. So I run in rip the shower curtain from the rail, throw it in the shower, pull the floor mat from the melting linoleum and throw that in too. And just as I'm turning on the water to put the flames out, the dude who was supposed to find the fire extinguisher comes running back in. He says, "I couldn't find the fire extinguisher, but I've got 911 on the phone. Fire department's on the way." Yeah, party didn't last long after the cops and fire engines started pulling up in front the house. That dude will never be invited back to another one of Shelby's parties. Maybe him and Marylin Monroe can hang out next Halloween." What do you guys think? |
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| Author: | Dr^ZigMan [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I like it, but not until you are already hooked into the set. It's a little long, and a little unbelievable (Ninja Turtle?) Other then that, with the right inflections and a bit of dramatic play up I think it could be pretty nice! |
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| Author: | NickRicca [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: I like it, but not until you are already hooked into the set. It's a little long, and a little unbelievable (Ninja Turtle?)
wat do you mean unbelievable... its a halloween party.... lol
Other then that, with the right inflections and a bit of dramatic play up I think it could be pretty nice! |
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| Author: | Dr^ZigMan [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
<smacks forehead> Doh! In that case it just went up an extra notch. Really I can read, sorry about that. |
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| Author: | sL!CK [ Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I like it. There are many ways to transition into it to, whatever a person says you can say, oh yeah, that reminds me of this one time... |
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