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Went AFC after sex - regaining value?
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Author:  batsy [ Mon Nov 12, 2012 9:17 am ]
Post subject:  Went AFC after sex - regaining value?

Hey,

I've been going out with this HB for 4 months now and she's still a bit less than 2 months officially single. We spend the night at my place or at hers 2-4 times per week depending on the schedules. In the beginning she let me know that she is not looking forward to exclusively date anyone. I was ok with this. Now our dates consist of very couple-like stuff, such as holding hands and kissing in public, going to restaurants, movies or just hanging at home watching tv, talking and having sex. There has also been two occasions when we both were just happy to go to sleep with each other without having sex. We even had a dinner date with two of our friends to set them up. At this point we also booked our first holiday together for a long weekend in a different country which is happening in few weeks. We talk or text daily, often multiple times via some sort of medium.

We do have a lot of common friends and/or coworkers and she's saying that she is not ready to tell them about us yet. My response is that I do not care if someone sees us but I'm not out there to advertise it.

Last night I was at hers spending the night, and since the beginning there was a bit of weird vibe. This was the first time we met after booking the trip. Had very straight forward (and quick) sex and she announced that she is satisfied with it and kinda wants to cuddle. Usually sex lasts multiple times and a lot longer.

Here's where I went AFC, I asked her if everything's ok. I should have just closed my mouth. She shot the typical response "yeah sure, why do you ask" and I responded that she seems a bit off today, especially when she sent me a message day prior that she is going to come many times with me this evening. Then she said "what, like I've been with another man?". I was not thinking this, but she put it out there. Of course I got curious (should have just said why would I care or something like that) and said well, you put it out there. She said that she hasn't been with anyone but if she would have she wouldn't tell me anyway. Responded with another AFC line "I'm not expecting that either". Conversation ended, we fell asleep and she walked me out in the morning.

I got caught really off guard here and think I lost some value by actually expressing interest if she's been with someone else. We're not exclusive but we act like a couple in all ways. Honestly I'm somewhat confused about this.

How do I go here actually restoring my power? I would like steer this towards exclusive relationship but her comments on this don't really give the image that she would be ready for it. I know that my logic is already here incorrect, she should be the one worrying about this. But she doesn't seem to be. Her not-so-close friends who do not know about us have even told her that I make their pants wet and can not stay in the same room with me (I'm working with some of them) and I'm really well liked in her social group out of which only few know that we're dating.

I want to turn this situation around and make her to chase me to be exclusive.

Author:  AFC Stevie J. [ Mon Nov 12, 2012 2:41 pm ]
Post subject: 

It sounds like you could be developing oneitis..the answer is simple..stop acting like a couple, just meet up, fuck, then leave. Thats all she seems to want anyways so dont start getting attached or your only have your feelings hurt later..Good Luck!

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