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I got attraction, now what do I do with it?
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Author:  NorthBoy [ Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:13 am ]
Post subject:  I got attraction, now what do I do with it?
Hey everyone, let me explain the situation I'm in. This might look like a sticking point but it isn't one. In fact, I am looking for routines to keep the attraction and more.

So there's this coworker that they hired about 1 month ago (maybe less). She is cute and 2 years younger than me. The thing is that I am almost sure that she is attracted to me. I won't go much further into it because she is attracted and I don't really have any doubt about it.

We barely know each other but I still got her number really quickly. I asked her what she was doing on that holiday that we have where I live (just to get some info, I wasn't asking her out or anything. Turns out she wasn't doing anything so I told her to hang out with some friends) She tought it was a good idea and she told me to text her (= She knows I have to ask her number here because I don't have it lol come on girl :P).

So she called me the next day (twice because I was busy the first time lol). By that time I already had realised that she really souldn't come with us because I knew that I would be drunk as f*ck on that special night with all my old friends and I didn't really wanted it to be the first time I see her out of works (I mean not a good first impression). I didn't really tried to convince her to come over the phone because of that even If I was sure she would come (she already texted me that I could pick her up and she would come back from the event in our taxi (= at my house)

I'm not sure I understand push-pull correctly but that's what I tried. First of all, at work, I almost ignored her at first (when she got hired) and then I did the opposite by kinda inviting her somewhere. Second of all, after the phone call, I didn't contact her for two days and then added her on facebook (mistake maybe??) saying "Hey I'm a stalker hahaha! How was your prom? (it's a joke because she is easy to find) to which she replied "Haha it was very nice :) ". I haven't yet answered.

Now I would like to know what routines I should use to keep her interested.

I know some of you will say "if she's into you you shouldn't waste time and ask her out etc." That's what I think too but I would like to be sure that I we have enough comfort, attraction, etc to be able to make something happen during the date and after . I also would like to keep things ok between me and her at work if things don't go my way.....

Thanks everyone!
Author:  FCgame [ Tue Jun 26, 2012 8:18 am ]
Post subject: 
I’d say don’t do it. Like you’ve said what if things don’t work out? There are lots of women out there, don’t make it more difficult for you. Even if things work out spending so much time with her can be a pain in the ass too.
Author:  NorthBoy [ Tue Jun 26, 2012 9:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I’d say don’t do it. Like you’ve said what if things don’t work out? There are lots of women out there, don’t make it more difficult for you. Even if things work out spending so much time with her can be a pain in the ass too.
The place where I work don't allow couples to work together (yes for real) so it's not really a problem.

And honestly, the "what if things don't work out" is not my way of thinking :P. I am more looking for routines that are not too hardcore and that can not make things too akward if she's not so interested after all
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Jun 26, 2012 9:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
I’d say don’t do it. Like you’ve said what if things don’t work out? There are lots of women out there, don’t make it more difficult for you. Even if things work out spending so much time with her can be a pain in the ass too.
The place where I work don't allow couples to work together (yes for real) so it's not really a problem.

And honestly, the "what if things don't work out" is not my way of thinking :P. I am more looking for routines that are not too hardcore and that can not make things too akward if she's not so interested after all
confidence is certainty,

you want routines that make you feel certain because you are feeling uncertain, just trust yourself, you want to ask this girl out, just ask her out, make up your damn mind about what you want

forget lines and gimmicks, think of attraction just as likability, if she enjoys being around you, you have attraction, if she knows who you are and feels like she knows you, you have a connection

don't over complicate it too much, if the attraction is there you don't have to do or say anything to keep it there, simply remain congruent and it will remain consistent

incongruence will kill the attraction, as soon as needy tendencies take over and you start changing up the game plan and acting in a certain way that is not congruent with what attracted her in the first place, this is when girls lose interest

and ironically it is really easy to get attraction and often guys cock block themselves more then anything, girl is already interested, just believe it and go for it, it's only a matter if finding out if she is available to you as well as attracted

if you have compliance for a meetup then you know you have something to work with, before you invite a chick out though you should have at least some rapport and a mutual interest in the activity that you plan to hang out and do

soc-psych-amp-pu-overjustification-amp- ... 21096.html

^ it's interesting that this post was revived today, it is fairly relevant to your post, don't fall into the trap of over gaming a chick and looking for that approval, if you feel you already got the approval, then trust yourself, you already got the approval, just believe in yourself

GOOD LUCK
Author:  NorthBoy [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the replies.

Since I haven't spoke to her for 4 days I was thinking of texting her maybe tomorrow around 7 pm saying something in the lines of : 1st message "hey what are you doing?" and 2nd message "I'm bored do you wanna hang out?".

Good idea or should I wait to speak to her in person?
Author:  FCgame [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 11:52 am ]
Post subject: 
I think texting is "weak" but do whatever you feel comfortable doing, call her instead of texting.
Author:  Loveu18 [ Thu Jul 05, 2012 6:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Use text to build comfort and try to hang out with here than all u really do is comfort/comfort then switch to attraction/suduction(it's the same thing to me) let those things I just told u happen naturally don't get in ur head Trying to control the conversation.
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