| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| No k-close after first date. Am I doomed? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=92027 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Torn Stitch [ Sat May 21, 2011 6:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | No k-close after first date. Am I doomed? |
Ok, been really liking this girl for a few years now throughout college but never really knew her. Finally got her number and started texting her occasionally. Well today we went on our first date, which went really well..except I chickened out on the k-close. It was such a perfect night too that it should have been no problem. We had a lot of kino throughout the date as well. I just gave her a hug and she went in. I know clearly I messed up here and honestly dont know why I didnt go for the kiss besides being intimidated and missing my chance. So my question to you is..how do I recover from this? |
|
| Author: | Chief [ Sat May 21, 2011 10:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Here's your main problem. It's a problem shared by 99% of people first getting into pickup. Some people call it oneitis, and that they should GFTOW. Well, that's sometimes too oversimplified. The real problem here is your attachment to what you perceive to be a bird in the hand, metaphorically speaking of course. Guys like you want to "recover" from what they see as a potential mistake to save what you already have instead of doing it better with the next girl. This mindset comes from a fundamental difference in attitudes related to scarcity and abundance. For whatever fucked up reason, you don't think that meeting a ton of new attractive women is feasible, so you have what we PUAs call a scarcity mentality. Recovery itself isn't a bad idea. In fact, it's usually a good thing. However, the fact that you're so focused on recovery with ONE girl in this very specific SCARCE situation is strong evidence that you have the wrong beliefs and attitudes. You need to prioritize "doing it better next time with the next girl" over recovery if you actually want to get better (become more SKILLFUL) when it comes to your love life. A good fisherman focused on developing his fishing skills instead of trying to catch one very specific fish without prior experience. In short, you have oneitis. Go Fuck Ten Other Women. Also, once you've adopted the mentality of abundance, you'll get more and more experienced with more and more women. This will lead to you becoming more confident (and sexually aggressive) so you won't chicken out like you did with this girl. |
|
| Author: | Torn Stitch [ Sat May 21, 2011 12:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
The main problem is that I know I have oneitis. I have had a crush on this girl for almost three years now and so its hard to get rid of tha feeling, regardless of how many other girls I hit on and close with. I just dont know what to say to this girl to get another opportunity to k-close without her being too put off about last night. I guess you really do only regret the chances you didnt take. So what are some text messages or some advice I could use in order to get a second date or hangout with this girl? |
|
| Author: | Torn Stitch [ Sat May 21, 2011 10:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Update: I texted her today saying "So besides the fact that you didnt kiss me, I had a great time last night! In all honestly though, I dont know why I didnt kiss you. Youre an amazing girl and id really like to see you again." She replied "I had a great time last night! And would love to hang out again. But to be honest, I just got out of a pretty serious relationship a few days ago and really just wanna be able to hang with you without pressure. Would that be alright?" She ended up asking me to go bowling with her soon and we decided we would go out on tuesday night. So I dont really know what to make of this. She clearly wants to see me again but maybe not in a sexual manner? I am still planning on making a move after bowling. What do you guys think? She seemed really comfortable touching me on the last date. I just hope she didnt already friend zone me due to the fact I didnt make a move last night. She also has been listed as single for at least the past 3-4 months on facebook and I saw no sign of any relationship. |
|
| Author: | Chief [ Sun May 22, 2011 5:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: The main problem is that I know I have oneitis. I have had a crush on this girl for almost three years now and so its hard to get rid of tha feeling, regardless of how many other girls I hit on and close with.
"It's hard" isn't an excuse to not do something.[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOBIq0R4iQY[/youtube] Meet more women and work on your Sexual SFT (State, Frame, Tension). chiefs-guide-to-outer-game-vt75887.html At this point, you don't know what you're doing and there's going to be a big mess with this particular girl. Shift your focus on developing your skill rather than getting a certain girl. You can always come back to her later after you've learned, though EXPERIENCE, how ridiculous it is for someone to say something like "I am still planning on making a move after bowling." You're halfway in the friend zone already, by the way. |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|