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First topic, in the dating dire straights. Advice needed.
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Author:  ThaPapa [ Mon May 16, 2011 4:45 am ]
Post subject:  First topic, in the dating dire straights. Advice needed.
So long story short I am in a bit of a dry spell. I moved from TX to MO and its been about 4 months since my last date.

Ive been reading the game and the 30 day challenge.

I met a girl while dancing at a club last thursday, we exchanged numbers at the end of the night and she texted me good night and it was nice meeting me.

I texted her once the next day telling her It was nice meeting her and added a joke. She responded positively. But I left it at that.

Come saturday, I initiate again with text saying what are her plans for the evening, she tells me she has plans at an art event and will let me know when she is done.

Come 12am she texts me the following:

Her : Hey!

Me: Hey! Where you at?

Her: Just left the art show im pretty tired :(. Where are you at?

Me: Im at bar @, come by :).

Her: I dont know where that is lol. Im so tired im going home :( next weekend tho!

Me: That sounds best. Have a good night!

Her: you too be safe.

---------------------

My question is I feel waiting till next weekend would be way to long so im kind of at odds as to what to do next. I usually do not like calling until solid plans to meet up a second time have been made.

My plan of attack was going to open with something funny. Then suggest if shed like to go to an event with me. But I got the idea that she likes a somewhat more aggressive approach which I havnt always been good with.

Any advice???

Thanks!
Author:  jabmaster [ Mon May 16, 2011 5:36 am ]
Post subject: 
You're on the right track... I think I am pretty decent in phone game (which is supposed to be very hard... I don't think so...) so this is what I normally do.

-I call her
-First I make her laugh
-Second I come up with some excessively ridiculous plan that will make her laugh again
-Then I throw a more down to earth invitation
-Then she either accepts or rejects
-I say something cocky and funny
-Then eject


This method is great because it gets her the feeling that you actually called because you wanted to make her laugh which is something she is not used to when dealing with regular mr. AFC.

Also, make sure to express yourself not as if you are inviting her out but as you two pretty much would like to do this together.
Example: "So, when will we rock this town again?" or "You still need to show me X or Y" or "I found the funniest thing we can do together".

Hope it helps.
Author:  ThaPapa [ Tue May 17, 2011 12:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the reply,

im horrible at phone game initially. (I always come off really nervous the first time calling someone no matter who it is especially if I havent seen em in a couple days). Is texting not prudent in this situation? As of today I still havent followed up.
Author:  jabmaster [ Tue May 17, 2011 2:20 am ]
Post subject: 
If you are expecting her to meet with you, calling is always preferred.
One of the reasons why phone game works for me is because I have a naturally sexy voice, if your voice tonality is one of your weaknesses, then you may want to avoid it for now.


Text is good, but I believe it is inferior to phone game. (Mainly for the voice tonality)

Anyway, if you dont feel confident with your phone game, text her following the same set of steps I described before.
Worst case scenario she goes dead air on you before you do the invitation, which is not that bad. You can use the jokes you managed to do in your texts for leveraging yourself later.
Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Tue May 17, 2011 5:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
Remember, you must seduce the woman.

Just because you had a good interaction and got her number, does not mean she will be up for a date. She will generally only want to meet up with you if :

-she trusts you to some degree
-shes attracted/mystified to/by you to some degree and wants to know more

You had both of these on the night you met her. So you need to keep this up until the next time you see her. You accomplish this thru solid text and/or phone game.

Shes not gonna respond positively to "hey when are you free? lets meet up" texts all the time. She may, but it wont be fun or exciting for her.


Your phone game sux, so you must text.

When she texted you on that night, it was a perfect opportunity to demonstrate what you got. I would have made it something like this:

Her : Hey!

Me: Hey! Where you at?

Her: Just left the art show im pretty tired :(. Where are you at?

Me: Im at bar @. I feel like i might get murdered here though.

Her: lol what why?? Im so tired im going home :(

Me: i was only kidding. your silly for believing that. if you were here i wuold make you take 2 shots for being so gullible.

Her: lol blablabl im a silly girl ablablabablabl

basically you dont react to her comment of going home, nor do you even ask her to come out. instead you amuse yourself by making fun of her or busting on her somehow. this sparks attraction and interest, and doesnt classify you as just another guy who wants to meet up with her to (ovbiously) get into her pants.

she will then be thinking " wtf he didnt even ask me to come. there must be other girls there" etc etc . she will be wondering. always keep her wondering. you need to set up this frame before meeting up with her. trust me it will make the meet up 100x easier because by then she will be DYING for you to make a move because shes super attracted
Author:  ThaPapa [ Sat May 21, 2011 6:24 am ]
Post subject: 
So I think I pretty much blew it..

I texted her Wednesday saying

Ouch!

hoping to illicit a response and nothing.


At this point is it pretty much dead?
Author:  jabmaster [ Sat May 21, 2011 6:43 am ]
Post subject: 
I don't think you fucked up.
You played high risk-high reward and this time high risk did not pay.

I don't encourage using that kind of messages with girls you're not sure are into you.

At least you didn't text her something that needed her to answer, soooo... the ball is in your field.

Try something that stimulates her (make her laugh, exciting) next time.
Author:  ThaPapa [ Sat May 21, 2011 8:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
So I texted her again today since I have something that came up...

I put Yo (name), how is my NY Bff. ( she is from ny as am i)

she responded hey buddy! was up. pretty quick

Soo I respond to her that I just left the gym. With the world ending how is she planning to spend the day.

Nothing in return.
Author:  jabmaster [ Sat May 21, 2011 11:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hi Papa, here's the problem:
You are focusing on what you are saying as a tool to get something from her, (ie. get out).
As a result you have sent her an almost AFC text.


Don't do that, instead focus on stimulating her, give her feelings, make her laugh.


I would have texted something like: "today all cool pple are goin to party in heaven, I have 2 go... would u feed my dog while Im gone?"

I would suggest texting her again today after a couple of hours if and only if you can come up with something like that by yourself.
Author:  ThaPapa [ Tue May 24, 2011 5:11 am ]
Post subject: 
I appreciate the advice. I will let this one go. Hopefully next one I can be more stimulating... Any more advice on generic phone/text game?
Author:  jabmaster [ Tue May 24, 2011 3:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't worry pal, we all start with baby steps.


The best advice I can give you is using phone game as regular game, I think the reason why phone game is so hard is because players tend to regress to an AFC state while calling on the phone. (Asking themselves "how do I invite her?", "iS this a good time?")

Don't think phone game is any different, focus on being your same charming and funny self you are off the phone.
Think of an excuse or have a reason to call her and just keep the conversation fun, if she is responding to the chat then invite her if she is not, don't do it. You are not obligated to invite her just because you call her.

Hope it helps man.
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