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# close with coworker, call or text?
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Author:  doktor [ Mon Apr 18, 2011 3:39 am ]
Post subject:  # close with coworker, call or text?
Hey I have been chatting with this HB8 at my work, and I thought I was getting a few IOI's when she was asking about the degree i'm doing. Anyway i nervously asked if she would like to go for drinks sometime, she agreed and put her number in my phone. I was in a bit of shock as to how easy it was ( just came out of a 5 year relationship with only serious gf), and told her i'd give her a call.

I'm pretty sure there is a 3 day no contact period,
so im not sure whether to call or text?
and we are working together on thursday, should i still call her on wednesday(after 3 days)




cheers for any help
Author:  DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Mon Apr 18, 2011 5:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Just FYI, if this were a cold approach, then the 3 day period would only hurt u, but being that it's a warm approach, it's ok to wait 3 days b4 u call. U CAN start texiting right away though. And yes, it's perfectly fine to call on wednesday even if u work together on Thursday. You want to become an outside-of-work person as soon as possible, and txting and calling helps with that. So call her on Wednesday and take her out this weekend. Have fun
Author:  doktor [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 3:31 am ]
Post subject: 
great advice, thanks for the help. Im a bit nervous to go out with her, as i think too much about what im saying to her and forget half the stuff she is talking about , while im trying to come up with something to say.. hopefully the alcohol will help..
Author:  DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Lol yea alcohol is always good. But don't worry about what you're saying to her. She already likes you. You can relax. All you need to worry about is having fun and touching her.
Author:  doktor [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 11:24 am ]
Post subject: 
I dont go out often so I don't know any good places to take her for drinks besides my local club, which is boring as shit. any tips on where i should go? should i ask her to suggest a place, or will that be a bad idea?

also, i think im gonna call her tomorrow afternoon, but have no idea what to talk about, - if i ask her what music and stuff she is into straight away, will this be a turnoff, as coming on too strong?
- i dont know how to run any DHV routines or anything, all i have is boring small talk.lol

thanks heaps for the help, cheers!
Author:  Jabba1 [ Tue Apr 19, 2011 12:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Anything that is interesting to you, is interesting to her. Let that be your state of mind before you call her.


You just have to watch your tonality. For example: "Oh man, you won't believe what happened to me today!", might be more fun to listen to then: "Hey, today I did this X, which was very fun."


What did you talk about with your gf for 5 years? I'm sure you know what women like to talk about.


If you run out of things to say...
I have this one routine, which is actually multiple routines combined I found on internet, I call it the Piercing routine. It contains DHV spikes (Pre-Selection) and flirty stuff to talk about. It's also great for kino escalation.

1. "Hey btw, give me your opinion on something. A friend of me told me I should pierce my ear...she was all like 'yea that would be so sexy on you'. Even though I'm not sure yet if I should take it, which ear should I let get pierced?" (I believe right ear is gay, but doesnt really matter, if she doesnt know u just say its so, and start the discussion on it.) "So if someone, like you for instance, has both ears pierced, does that make them bi?"

2. Tell her about how u dated a girl who was bi for a couple of weeks, and she kissed with another girl on a party once. Ask her if that's cheating. You agree with her, w/e she says. (yea, friends told me it was wrong, but since it wasn't a guy, it was no big deal for me / yea, it kinda upset me as well, so I broke it off).

3. Who cheats more often? if she says guys --> you had some bad experiences with men? And u didnt cheat at all in your life? If she says girls--> oh...so u cheat alot? Accuse her of being a player and only want men for their bodies. "And i figured you for a sweet girl."

4. Who lies more. Often i get girls as answer --> oh, so you are a good liar? I bet u suck at it ;). I have a way to test it.

5. 5 questions game.

Since you are calling her, u can bet her she will fail, and to buy you a drink this friday at 9, at X. Otherwise, you will buy her a cocktail at Y.

I never did the 5 questions game on the phone, but I think it will work just the same.
Author:  DaveUrkel (BlackWhitePU) [ Wed Apr 20, 2011 5:48 am ]
Post subject: 
OK, you don't need to be telling DHV stories to a girl that already likes you. Theres nothing wrong with asking her what music she's into. If I were you I would just start talking about the music that I like and then ask her what she's into.

When I call girls, I like to have one or 2 quick stories of something that happened to me that day or the day before (you can use something that happened last year, it doesnt matter. Just pretend that it happened recently), so I have something to go into right away. These stories don't have to be anything cool, just something that will get a little laugh out of the girl in order to break the ice a little of the first time talking on the phone. Sinn used to tell a story about a girl that farted at the gym. I tell this story about how I hung up on this guy because I thought he was a telemarketer, but he was actually calling me about a job. Ya dig? These aren't dhv stories, just something to start the flow of a conversation.

And small talk is all you need for the most part at this point with this girl!! Well, that and qualifying her (i.e. showing that you like her and like certain things about her).

As far as the date goes, don't worry about "good" places. Just take her to 2-4 venues. That can be 4 bars, or 3 bars and an ice cream shop. It can be the park, then an ice cream shop then a bar or 2. Doesn't matter. She's not gonna be judging you on whether or not the place you take her is cool or not. You just need to focus on having fun with her and then escalating. And don't worry about any crazy escalation tactics, I don't wanna put too much info in your head that will stifle you when you actually get on the date. Just have fun, get a few drinks in the 2 of you and touch her.
Don't ask for her suggestion of a place to go to. That's not really a good idea. Just make sure you go to more than one place. Its more fun that way and it makes you guys feel like you've known each other longer.
Author:  ResolutionLA [ Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your in good hands man, these guys are giving you and me some solid advice.

SteveUrkel what a great point to have a story or two in hand! Jabba, thanks for that list of 5 questions, definitely gonna use some of those asap.
Author:  doktor [ Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
heres my situation,

we started texting cause she didnt answer, she said she was super busy and took like 4 hours to write back, with short uninterested replies. so i took around the same amount of time to reply to back to her.
the next day we worked together but it was really busy for easter so we only had a brief hi and she didnt get to talk so i called her when i finished and she wrote back saying she was watching a movie with friends and wanted to text, so i kept it cool and tried to be negged her a bit cause she was hungover.
she didnt ask any questions back and just seemed to reply with 2 line answers after about an hour and a half.
she said she was goin back home for about a week for the holidays (she lives away for college), so i said i'd call next week.
I texted her tonight(monday), and said "hey girl, hows your weekend been so far, anything happening in Xtown", she wrote back after 4 hours "I'm doing homework its pretty awful.Hows your weekend been"

i wrote back around 11pm "had a crazy couple of days, study as well now though"
and then i just got a really long text back at 5am "omg its almost 5 in the morning.finally getting to bed, not even half way through my assignment though, hope you aren't one of those people that leave everything to the last minute, it will make your life at college hell. if you're working wednesday ill see you then, i wont be hung over"


this all feels like its going to be a LJBF situation.
thanks heaps for the help again guys.
Author:  Jabba1 [ Tue Apr 26, 2011 10:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Jabba, thanks for that list of 5 questions, definitely gonna use some of those asap.
It's not a list as much as a routine hehe. In that order, the subjects aren't coming out of the blue, but they may seem natural coming up in your mind while talking. So you wanna do them in that order rather then randomly ask her about who cheats more or lies more.


Doktor, I would go for a meet up now, or you will be texting too much and end up loosing attraction.

I would send something along the lines of "Hey dork, I can't wednesday, I'll be busy working. Let's meet up for drinks tonight instead. You deserve some fun after all that studying" (Frame 1: she invited you on wednesday, but you are busy. Frame 2: Meeting up for drinks tonight will be fun for her)

If she agrees, be playful and touchy with her tonight ("you know, you look amazing tonight...is the hair real?" Pull it when she says it's real, cause you don't believe it and wanna check it).
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