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How To Close Girl From Social Circle
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Author:  ilovenyc [ Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:24 am ]
Post subject:  How To Close Girl From Social Circle

So there's this girl who I've known for a few years, always had a little thing for. She went to school w/ my best friend so I see her sometimes at functions involving a birthday or whatever for someone from their school. Anyway, we always had a friendly relationship when we saw each other out but that was somewhat rare and she's kind of the flirty type so couldn't get a great read on situation. When I came home after finishing school this summer I sent her a message on Facebook even though I hadn't seen her at that point in a really long time saying hello and seeing if she wanted to go out for a drink sometime. Never got a response, figured oh well. Hadn't spoken to her since then until I randomly ran into her two weeks ago at a pre-drink at a mutual friend's apartment. I noticed her right away but pretended not to see her; got a few drinks with my friends, was hanging out and having a good time when casually noticed she was right next to me and said hello. Then I went right back to having a few drinks with my friends and we headed out to a club about 15 minutes later. So last night I'm out with a few friends and we stop at a party for some kid from their school when randomly this girl comes up to me and says hello, gives me a hug. I decided to go for the gambit and told her I'm sorry, I know that I know you from somewhere but can't quite place it. She was like oh I'm friends wtih your friends, etc and I said oh yeah I remember now but I can't quite place the name. Anyway the bottle girl brought over some drinks so we were all drinking and dancing; she was dancing on the table with a few of her girl friends right behind me and kept putting her hands on my shoulder and in my hair but not really a great opportunity, especially since my friends and I were leaving soonish and no way was I going to stay behind to hang out with her. At one point I asked her if she wanted to go take a shot (during that horrible song "Shots") but she said "I'd rather dance." Couldn't tell if that was bad or good. Anyway, I said goodbye about 10 minutes later and my friends and I headed out.

So two solid interactions here; short and solid before I left to do other more fun things. My question is how to proceed here in terms of frame and where to make the move considering a) just asking her out for a drink failed miserably last time, b) she's in my social circle so can't do anything too outlandish, and c) unpredictable when I'll see her again; I could always have my friend find out where she is but I've tried to avoid that thus far.

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Author:  ilovenyc [ Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

Any suggestions?

Author:  almoody6872 [ Tue Mar 22, 2011 4:33 pm ]
Post subject: 

You have oneitis my friend. If you don't know what it is look it up. Pick-up is not about getting one specific girl. It's about honing your skills so you can get any girl.

I'm saying focus on understanding and getting women in general rather than understanding and getting one girl. You will much happier in the future!

Author:  ilovenyc [ Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:49 pm ]
Post subject: 

I understand the concern with one-itis, and it's not like I'm not hitting on other girls or concerning myself entirely with one target - on the contrary, I've tried to keep the past couple interactions short and sweet. But just wanted to know if anyone had any suggestions for this particular case given the past result and the fact that she's in my social circle.

Author:  James The Third [ Tue Mar 22, 2011 6:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
You have oneitis my friend. If you don't know what it is look it up. Pick-up is not about getting one specific girl. It's about honing your skills so you can get any girl.

I'm saying focus on understanding and getting women in general rather than understanding and getting one girl. You will much happier in the future!

Stop right there. Fuck oneitis.

Guess what. It's natural to feel strong feelings for one girl, and only emotionally damaged men cannot achieve these feelings.

It's true that you can easily be blinded by one girl for different reasons, could be if you haven't had sex in some time, but you just need to learn how to identify when that's the case.

ilovenyc: If I were you, I would make sure that you're not developing feelings for her just because she represents what you can't have (cause she's your friend).

Author:  ilovenyc [ Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:16 am ]
Post subject: 

Interesting situation - I wouldn't really consider myself "friends" with her; see her usually once a month or so. She's just friends with many of my friends and I just think she's really sexy. So not so much a matter of really dwelling on it so much as wanting to make sure the opportunity is played correctly.

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