PUA Forum :: Hooking up with other women while seeing one.

Conker:

Yeah u right, guess I could've hinted a little more b4 she went away. It's a tricky one ... I was thinking that she wouldn't want to get into a relationship before she went on holiday with her single girlfriends, so thought i'd just chill and let her do the hinting. I also have a mindset that the guy never initiates 'the exclusivity talk'.

But I really like that "Do u like being single?" line, Nice! I can see the response telling a lot. She seems like the more common mindset u are referring to thou. The way she's acting now and her past suggests this also (Only been with 2 guys & hints to me that she prefers sticking to one person+all the messages), which means it could be over skidover if I do anything now according to you.

But how's this for a little debate: Say she finds out I did anything, technically speaking, We haven't spoken about being exclusive to each other so she can't be upset with me as I, have no idea what she's getting up to on holiday. If we were exclusive, I would NEVER cheat. But this is different, for example... If she is hooking up with someone right now, I wouldn't really mind as I would completely understand the situation, holiday fun ...... but the question, would she? (Tricky one!)

Oh and yes, I completely agree that NOW would def not be a good time to direct that sort of convo while away. That sort of talk can only be done in person.

Thanks for the reply

But how's this for a little debate: Say she finds out I did anything, technically speaking, We haven't spoken about being exclusive to each other so she can't be upset with me as I, have no idea what she's getting up to on holiday. If we were exclusive, I would NEVER cheat. But this is different, for example... If she is hooking up with someone right now, I wouldn't really mind as I would completely understand the situation, holiday fun ...... but the question, would she? (Tricky one!)

Glad to help.

Quote:

This is "logic", something we guys are fond of and means nothing in this situation. If it is the way it sounds to me (and you've suggested it probably is), it doesn't matter what "logical reasons" she would have to not be hurt, she WILL be hurt, and will lose attraction for you. No equations are going to prevent that.

Author:	mistrom12 [ Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Hooking up with other women while seeing one.
Hey guys! Intro: Just want to find out your views on this and what you would do here. I've been seeing this HB8 once a week for 2 months now. She's got her head screwed on, very intelligent basically I am interested in something more if she were to ask. The point: She's gone on a 3 week vacation with her girlfriends now which was organised b4 we met and I have now been partying more with the boys! Would it be fine to have a bit of fun with other girls until then?? cause technically we are still just 'seeing' each other and there's been no exclusive talk. I would never even think about this if we were properly 2gether. However, she could be thinking the same thing and having fun on her holiday which I would never know about. There is a chance her friends might find out if I do anything. She texts me every 2-3 days and I still have yet to initiate a text while she's been away. I can tell she wants something more. (Have been introduced to all her friends and so on.....). I know some guys think this could be a bit immoral but an open opinion would be awesome, thanks guys.

Author:	Legit_ [ Mon Dec 06, 2010 8:58 pm ]
Post subject:
If you want to.

Author:	lachose1 [ Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Do whatever you want, it's the key to happiness.

Author:	_Lothario_ [ Mon Dec 06, 2010 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:
It's healthy to see other people casually when you are steadily "just seeing" a person. It is good for you and her both. It can help make sure you are not blinded by your emotions, and stick to what you know. When meeting new people, the idea of themselves that is initially presented is often far different from their reality. Once transfixed by the presentation, it becomes increasingly difficult to associate logical thinking. It is better to have a more friendly/non-emotional relationship before you take that next step. This period helps build trust. I have many girl friends who I would never enter a relationship because of what I learned in this period. I find their desires come before their logic and they are the type of girl that may sleep around more than I would like. It is harder to trust that type of person unless you smother each other so much as to not give time to cheat. Being open about each others dating lives from the beginning will help build trust by means of honesty. Personally, I now date women without hooking up with them, and would only consider letting women out of my friend zone if they do the same. You also may want to initiate some text. You don't have to "game" if you're seeing her. If you are thinking of her, and you want to initiate, it won't be deviating from alpha behavior to let her know how you really feel. Just don't become dependent on your feelings. They will betray you. She may be more hesitant towards hooking up or seeking out other men if she's thinking of you. Even if it isn't against her moral stand-point it may dull her desires.

Author:	mistrom12 [ Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:48 am ]
Post subject:
Sprd Love Ders: Thanks for the great reply! I completely agree that it should be natural to be able to see others as it will help one to step back and make an informed decision on the type of person u decide to And start a relationship with, rather than acting on emotions. I have learned from previous relationships that it is SO important to choose well. Good looks is a pre-requisite of course but character selection that will match your lifestyle is vital. Because once you're emotionally invested 6-12 months down the line, it's not going to be easy to get out it if she's the wrong type of girl. "She may be more hesitant towards hooking up or seeking out other men if she's thinking of you. Even if it isn't against her moral stand-point it may dull her desires." Great point! A lot of my friends try get physical on other guys who sarge on their girls and they eventually end up breaking up. Rather than knowing your point, relaxing and taking it as a compliment Thanks again, I have been wanting to text her but she beats me to it everytime, haha

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Author:	Conker [ Tue Dec 07, 2010 1:18 pm ]
Post subject:
Um, if I were you I would have found some time during those two months, just exactly what she's after. You can subtley direct conversation in a way that will clearly show what she wants out of a relationship right now. A good topic to direct to is, "Do you enjoy being single?" that's worked for me. Now if you knew she was just up for fun, sure, go ahead and play! But you know what - if she's not of the "I just want my fun and my freedom mindset", and she's texting you every day with the more common mindset of a girl - the kind that will be hurt to see you with someone else, then if you do stuff with girls and she finds out, it's over skidover. I'm not certain but my first instinct is NOW is a bad time to direct the conversation that way while she's away, because if she's of the more common mindset, she will immediately assume the worst.

Author:	mistrom12 [ Tue Dec 07, 2010 2:09 pm ]
Post subject:
Conker: Yeah u right, guess I could've hinted a little more b4 she went away. It's a tricky one ... I was thinking that she wouldn't want to get into a relationship before she went on holiday with her single girlfriends, so thought i'd just chill and let her do the hinting. I also have a mindset that the guy never initiates 'the exclusivity talk'. But I really like that "Do u like being single?" line, Nice! I can see the response telling a lot. She seems like the more common mindset u are referring to thou. The way she's acting now and her past suggests this also (Only been with 2 guys & hints to me that she prefers sticking to one person+all the messages), which means it could be over skidover if I do anything now according to you. But how's this for a little debate: Say she finds out I did anything, technically speaking, We haven't spoken about being exclusive to each other so she can't be upset with me as I, have no idea what she's getting up to on holiday. If we were exclusive, I would NEVER cheat. But this is different, for example... If she is hooking up with someone right now, I wouldn't really mind as I would completely understand the situation, holiday fun ...... but the question, would she? (Tricky one!) Oh and yes, I completely agree that NOW would def not be a good time to direct that sort of convo while away. That sort of talk can only be done in person. Thanks for the reply

Author:	AGDubz [ Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:21 am ]
Post subject:
Do it, but don't get caught.

Author:	_Lothario_ [ Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:43 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Conker: Yeah u right, guess I could've hinted a little more b4 she went away. It's a tricky one ... I was thinking that she wouldn't want to get into a relationship before she went on holiday with her single girlfriends, so thought i'd just chill and let her do the hinting. I also have a mindset that the guy never initiates 'the exclusivity talk'. But I really like that "Do u like being single?" line, Nice! I can see the response telling a lot. She seems like the more common mindset u are referring to thou. The way she's acting now and her past suggests this also (Only been with 2 guys & hints to me that she prefers sticking to one person+all the messages), which means it could be over skidover if I do anything now according to you. But how's this for a little debate: Say she finds out I did anything, technically speaking, We haven't spoken about being exclusive to each other so she can't be upset with me as I, have no idea what she's getting up to on holiday. If we were exclusive, I would NEVER cheat. But this is different, for example... If she is hooking up with someone right now, I wouldn't really mind as I would completely understand the situation, holiday fun ...... but the question, would she? (Tricky one!) Oh and yes, I completely agree that NOW would def not be a good time to direct that sort of convo while away. That sort of talk can only be done in person. Thanks for the reply If you want the conversation, take control and initiate it. Waiting for others to move first is a sign of weakness in will. It's like if a girl asked you what movie you wanted to watch and you act indecisive when you really had something in mind. Sometimes you just gotta MAN UP and make the decision. Try your best to make a habit of it without demanding control. Balance it out.

Author:	mistrom12 [ Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:09 am ]
Post subject:
Cool! Thanks for clearing things up guys. I know what I'm going to do now.

Author:	Conker [ Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:38 am ]
Post subject:
Glad to help. Quote: But how's this for a little debate: Say she finds out I did anything, technically speaking, We haven't spoken about being exclusive to each other so she can't be upset with me as I, have no idea what she's getting up to on holiday. If we were exclusive, I would NEVER cheat. But this is different, for example... If she is hooking up with someone right now, I wouldn't really mind as I would completely understand the situation, holiday fun ...... but the question, would she? (Tricky one!) This is "logic", something we guys are fond of and means nothing in this situation. If it is the way it sounds to me (and you've suggested it probably is), it doesn't matter what "logical reasons" she would have to not be hurt, she WILL be hurt, and will lose attraction for you. No equations are going to prevent that.

Author:	Keksman [ Tue Dec 14, 2010 4:37 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Glad to help. Quote: But how's this for a little debate: Say she finds out I did anything, technically speaking, We haven't spoken about being exclusive to each other so she can't be upset with me as I, have no idea what she's getting up to on holiday. If we were exclusive, I would NEVER cheat. But this is different, for example... If she is hooking up with someone right now, I wouldn't really mind as I would completely understand the situation, holiday fun ...... but the question, would she? (Tricky one!) This is "logic", something we guys are fond of and means nothing in this situation. If it is the way it sounds to me (and you've suggested it probably is), it doesn't matter what "logical reasons" she would have to not be hurt, she WILL be hurt, and will lose attraction for you. No equations are going to prevent that. This is true, but you can't let that control you. Unless you've done something to give her the impression that you are being exclusive, it is silly to assume that you would be. Therefore, you should not feel obligated to abstain or think getting around is wrong. At the same time, as Conker says, you do risk her getting upset. My advice, unless you really don't want to risk falling in disfavor with her, go have some fun. And even if you don't, make sure to keep your emotions in check (as suggested above) and realize that acting exclusive right now may cause her to lose interest (could look like AFC behavior to her).

Author:	mistrom12 [ Wed Dec 15, 2010 8:02 pm ]
Post subject:
So, it turns out that: I've been sick in bed for the last week and haven't been able to get out anyway. She gets back in a week now so it would just be verrry cheeky of me to go do anything now. Conker: Haha, Ya I agree, that's one thing I learned playing this game is that by doing everything illogical that the girl becomes consistent! Something that baffled me before I found the PUA way. Keksman: Yeah it is a tricky one, I guess it all depends on the type of girl really. I can tell this one would get upset. BUT if it was girl I was seeing for a while and I wasn't interested in being exclusive, I wouldn't have even written a post about this, haha! But thanks for the tip, Def gonna keep those emo vibes in check. Keep her chasing.

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