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Help on sorting date with girl from work - longish story
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Author:  ollyollyolly [ Mon Nov 15, 2010 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Help on sorting date with girl from work - longish story

Hi, need some advice. (im almost 18 just to let you know. Basically I know this girl thinks im good looking as a friend (girl) from school said she was asking her if there were any good looking guys at work and she answered, me. She added me on facebook (after a few shifts) started speaking to me and we talked a couple of times. So yeah. Anyway, sorted out a night when we would both be out with friends and met up at a club(a lot later than planned as was stuck at a friends), she was very drunk and her friends were sort of in the way, I also wasnt up for trying to get with a drunk girl when i was pretty sober. So yeah, all that happened was just a hug when i saw her and said goodbye but (this is gonna sound queer) the goodbye hug especially was like a proper/long hug you would do to someone you care about (and im really not saying she loves me or anything stupid like that im just saying it wasnt sort of feeble and awkward - although her friends were just watching as they were going to get a taxi). Anyway that happened (or nothing happened), spoke to her a couple of times after over several weeks, she went out the other night with friends and wanted me to come but i couldnt. Anyway im sick of trying to sort out these nights when we will both be out, maybe its because its sort of a way of seeing her but not getting rejected by asking.
So i was thinking of just asking this girl to get a coffee so I can actually re build a bit of attraction and not just talk to her on facebook and stuff (and whats the point of that if i never see her). Just wondering if this sounds like a good plan, how to go about it/phrase it, text or facebook?, make it seem casual but not like i just want to be friends (if thats possible).
Thanks for those who have bothered to read this, I know its a lot of writing for something fairly trivial but im new to this. Any answers to my questions, other suggestions or anything you think might help would be great.
Cheers
Olly
and sorry about my bracket fetish haha, just noticed skimming through.

Author:  taylormade [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 8:35 am ]
Post subject: 

IMO, Anything VIA written text shows a lack of confidence. You need to reframe this whole situation and be more direct about your intentions. It sounds as if you may be heading toward friendzone if you don't escalate things to a more sexual nature. I would flirt heavily and without shame during real life interactions. Use lots of kino, grab her hand and tell her she's got to see this real excited like and lead her to something you want to show her. After a couple of these interactions I would ask her to go to some sort of event or something where you will sit next to her. In my experiences things like coffee dates where you sit across a table from someone and have no physical interactions get you into the friend zone, you need some sort of a date that lets you put your arm around her.

Author:  ollyollyolly [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:43 pm ]
Post subject: 

cheers for your reply taylormade. The thing is that there are no situations where I see her because I don't work at the same place anymore. So the only way i can speak to her is by text/facebook. If I could I would definitely ask her in person but I simply have no other way. Also, what would you suggest doing instead? As im only 17 asking a girl out to dinner isnt really the done thing, but equally, asking a girl to the cinema is the sort of thing a 14 year old does. So coffee seemed like a good option. Any ideas? thanks

Author:  2gaz2 [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hey man. Just an idea but maybe you should arrange to do somethin you normally would do with your mates or an event your lookind forward to, and ask her to come along, either text or phone just put it dead casual...bring her into your world 'Im doing X cant wait its goin be a blast you should come with us' . That way you can kino in person etc and also show her that your the man by leading your mates and bring along girl mates too.

Author:  ollyollyolly [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

yeah that definitely sounds like a good plan. the only thing i do with my mates really is go out at night, every weekend. I was thinking of two things, asking if she wants to come to this gig with me as my friends arent in to that kind of music or seeing if she wants to play some tennis (this might be a crap idea - not sure). I play quite a lot and thought it would seem like quite a casual thing.

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