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She says I only want sex?
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Author:  Gerka [ Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:  She says I only want sex?
Hey guys, quick story need advice or thoughts.

Known this chick for 3 years. We were friends then hooked up a year ago and it went well, only k-closed never f-closed. After 3 or 4 hangouts she started getting distant. I did a freeze out and later found out it was because she had a current bf. Didn't talk for 6 months.

Just recently we've hung out a couple times since she broke up with the other bf and I k-closed both times. I didn't try for anymore even though I was in her bedroom, wanted to play it slow because she said I was trying to move too fast the first time. This was Saturday. We exchanged a few texts the nexts day. On Monday she texted me about some random BS and we talked a little about nonsense when the she surprised me with a text out of nowhere that said I'm not having sex with you and I think that you feel like you deserve it. I was pretty taken aback.

I kept my cool and didn't get angry but just asked her to be honest. Eventually it came down to her saying she thought I was falling in love with her and that she wasn't in love with me. I was pretty shocked, especially since we had made plans to go away next weekend and for me to be her date to a wedding at the end of the month. The kicker is she said we can still go away but no fooling around and maybe we should think about getting separate rooms???

Any ideas on why she went hot to cold (for the second time!) and anything I can do to flip the situation? I was thinking about a freeze out but I really hate that.

Thanks in advance guys.
Author:  Atila [ Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's some heavy stuff. I'd write back "I don't feel like I deserve it, I just felt like you deserved it! but if you don't want to that's no biggie. Do you want to come with me to see DUE DATE next Saturday?"

Because I suspect she wants it but her defense mechanisms are acting up, she might have heard you're a slut (if you are) etc... So this should put her at ease.
Author:  BridgeBurner [ Wed Nov 03, 2010 11:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
agree with the post above..

also take it from serious to not so much asap....but add your subliminals.. like

what Atila said... "whoa whoa.. i thought you felt like it was YOU that deserved it actually...haha.. all i care about is that we always have fun and we are comfortable. from monkey sex to scrabble.. so whatev happens happens.. no biggie k? come on now, you know me... it takes a porche and chocolate ice cream before i fall in love ;) "

that difuses... keeps the idea that sex could happen and she wont HURT you because youre not emotionally invested so she can not feel bad about it and also if she feels like she doesnt want to do it when it comes down to it.. you wont care... so she can just say no... cuz whatever happens happens... one way or another.....next time you pick her up and she gets in ur car.... grab a scrabble game if you have one and set it on her lap and say "you know.. jsut case we dont have sex" ... and smile...
Author:  Ezo [ Thu Nov 04, 2010 12:44 am ]
Post subject: 
I dont think that it was that bad...

Whenever a girl says something like that to me I say something along the lines of:

Yeah, you do whatever you want.

or

Whatever, its your loss.

or

Yeah, whatever, its up to you.

or

Erm, ok, yeah, that was exactly what was going on (ironic).

or

my favorite: Sure, no problems.
Author:  Gerka [ Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the replies guys. Originally I was thinking of going it from the heart and just saying what was really on my mind, but I think that might be too AFC...thoughts?
Author:  Mr_Amazing [ Thu Nov 04, 2010 5:23 am ]
Post subject: 
the whole situation just sounds like you are telegraphing too much interest and she is just letting you know in a not so subtle way. im not sure what the next step is, but i what you shouldnt do is go to that wedding thing with her.
Author:  GoodBetterBest [ Thu Nov 04, 2010 5:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Atila and bridge had the best responses by far :lol: id suggest you saying what they said, or along the lines of that, and i would also encourge going to the wedding as well however, what better chance to meet more people by having someone you know actually introduce you to them 8)
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