PUA Forum :: Who should pay on dates?

A few weeks ago I met a HB7 in a night club and number closed.
Last week we went to the movies and after the movies went for dinner at a chinese restaurant. I payed on both of them. At the movies I paid because she was running late and the movie had already started so I figured I should have the tickets ready so we didn't miss more of the movie. At the restaurant I paid since I was the one that asked her after the movie to go to a restaurant so we could talk....
At the movies I tried to kino escalate a bit, took her hand, got no feedback so I took it off... she later took my hand back after i had removed mine.
Other than that, nothing happened.....

Last saturday we went to party together and she introduced me to her friends and didn't get the chance to isolate her and try to kino escalate. However, I did use the chance to prove myself as an alpha male and got compliments from all her friends.

So my questions are:

1) When you take a girl out on a day, should you really pay for everything???
She loves theater and mentioned that there is this show she wants to see but it is too expensive... should i just go ahead and buy tickets and ask her out or it would be a bad move to give her EVERYTHING?

If I don't i fear to be not looked as a gentleman?

2) I have already gone out with this girl 3 times and haven't made out (we did make out the first night I met her at the club, but not when going out on dates).
Should I just give up on her, does it mean she is not interested?
I feel like my kino escalations with her have failed.

Thanks in advance for your advice.

she hasnt really done anything for me as a reward so im not really sure how should i proceed... i really like this girl and would love to at least get laid with her.

I've noticed with kino some girls don't seem to respond either positively or negatively. You should assume this is a basically positive response, but proceed carefully, looking for any negative response. Did you try to kiss her?

Quote:

Not really, however when saying good bye I did try to pull a trick on her and all I got was two goodbye kisses on the cheek.
I guess her only IOS so far have been asking me to go out with her out and asking me to take a picture with her. She hasn't really given me more IOS so im starting to think I should give up already. 3 dates and nothing is way too much. I usually end up making out on the first date in the past...

I think it depends... has there been any real flirtatious vibes comin from her? Has there been heavy petting i.e. you kissin her neck and her yours etc? Some girls play hard to get some girls push pull whilst actually moving forward eg date 1 kiss on cheek date 2 kiss on neck etc then date 3 in for the kill...

Im an amateur so dont listen to me but trying to play devils advocate

Author:	nmuntz [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Who should pay on dates?
A few weeks ago I met a HB7 in a night club and number closed. Last week we went to the movies and after the movies went for dinner at a chinese restaurant. I payed on both of them. At the movies I paid because she was running late and the movie had already started so I figured I should have the tickets ready so we didn't miss more of the movie. At the restaurant I paid since I was the one that asked her after the movie to go to a restaurant so we could talk.... At the movies I tried to kino escalate a bit, took her hand, got no feedback so I took it off... she later took my hand back after i had removed mine. Other than that, nothing happened..... Last saturday we went to party together and she introduced me to her friends and didn't get the chance to isolate her and try to kino escalate. However, I did use the chance to prove myself as an alpha male and got compliments from all her friends. So my questions are: 1) When you take a girl out on a day, should you really pay for everything??? She loves theater and mentioned that there is this show she wants to see but it is too expensive... should i just go ahead and buy tickets and ask her out or it would be a bad move to give her EVERYTHING? If I don't i fear to be not looked as a gentleman? 2) I have already gone out with this girl 3 times and haven't made out (we did make out the first night I met her at the club, but not when going out on dates). Should I just give up on her, does it mean she is not interested? I feel like my kino escalations with her have failed. Thanks in advance for your advice.

Author:	JOHNNYBOY29 [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 3:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Who should pay on dates?
Quote: A few weeks ago I met a HB7 in a night club and number closed. Last week we went to the movies and after the movies went for dinner at a chinese restaurant. I payed on both of them. At the movies I paid because she was running late and the movie had already started so I figured I should have the tickets ready so we didn't miss more of the movie. At the restaurant I paid since I was the one that asked her after the movie to go to a restaurant so we could talk.... At the movies I tried to kino escalate a bit, took her hand, got no feedback so I took it off... she later took my hand back after i had removed mine. Other than that, nothing happened..... Last saturday we went to party together and she introduced me to her friends and didn't get the chance to isolate her and try to kino escalate. However, I did use the chance to prove myself as an alpha male and got compliments from all her friends. So my questions are: 1) When you take a girl out on a day, should you really pay for everything??? She loves theater and mentioned that there is this show she wants to see but it is too expensive... should i just go ahead and buy tickets and ask her out or it would be a bad move to give her EVERYTHING? If I don't i fear to be not looked as a gentleman? 2) I have already gone out with this girl 3 times and haven't made out (we did make out the first night I met her at the club, but not when going out on dates). Should I just give up on her, does it mean she is not interested? I feel like my kino escalations with her have failed. Thanks in advance for your advice. Apparently it is ok to pay for her if she has done something in return i.e. payment is like a reward. So if she slept with you, you can take her out to dinner etc. I am a guy who pays for alot of stuff but i have reduced this significantly to only my true friends

Author:	nmuntz [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:30 pm ]
Post subject:
she hasnt really done anything for me as a reward so im not really sure how should i proceed... i really like this girl and would love to at least get laid with her.

Author:	JOHNNYBOY29 [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 5:54 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: she hasnt really done anything for me as a reward so im not really sure how should i proceed... i really like this girl and would love to at least get laid with her. Im in your boat mate. I used to pay for us, e.g. when we go out we go out for drinks. i open a tab I run a 120 quid bill. She always offers but I end up paying (maybe she knows im gonna reject it but still pretends to "try" to pay I dont know). I still havent got anywhere. I suggest you dont pay. Look ultimately it boils down to whether she wants you or not and you not paying shouldnt hinder that. I would suggest buy the first round of drinks for example and then tell her its her round and so on. If its going out to the theatre, I would suggest getting tickets and maybe letting her buy you a drink after or before the night out at the theatre. Its all about giving and taking not just taking.

Author:	dkjscfklsdfhj [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:34 pm ]
Post subject:
A good strategy is to use the line "I'll get this one, you can get the next one." Or like with the movies, you pay for tickets, she pays for popcorn and drinks. That way you don't look like a cheap bastard who's going to split hairs over a couple of dollars, but at the same time you don't look like an AFC who is trying to buy her time, and you're also clearly setting the expectation that you both financially contribute to your mutual activities. I've noticed with kino some girls don't seem to respond either positively or negatively. You should assume this is a basically positive response, but proceed carefully, looking for any negative response. Did you try to kiss her?

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Author:	nmuntz [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:43 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I've noticed with kino some girls don't seem to respond either positively or negatively. You should assume this is a basically positive response, but proceed carefully, looking for any negative response. Did you try to kiss her? Not really, however when saying good bye I did try to pull a trick on her and all I got was two goodbye kisses on the cheek. I guess her only IOS so far have been asking me to go out with her out and asking me to take a picture with her. She hasn't really given me more IOS so im starting to think I should give up already. 3 dates and nothing is way too much. I usually end up making out on the first date in the past...

Author:	dkjscfklsdfhj [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah 3 dates with no kissing is probably pushing you into the friend zone. You could try inviting her over for a movie, and have candle lit and a bottle of white wine.. basically make your sexual/romantic intentions clear by setting up an environment and then at some point making a move. I think you probably should try to push her to either get physical or LJBF you instead of simply assuming she's not interested and giving up. Obviously don't do it in a creepy AFC way. But she might be a bit shy about making out when she's not tipsy in a club so you may just need to be more direct. Edit: come to think of it, if you've been keeping the kino up and she hasn't been rejecting it then you are probably in. You might just need to create a setting where she would feel comfortable making out.

Author:	JOHNNYBOY29 [ Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I've noticed with kino some girls don't seem to respond either positively or negatively. You should assume this is a basically positive response, but proceed carefully, looking for any negative response. Did you try to kiss her? Not really, however when saying good bye I did try to pull a trick on her and all I got was two goodbye kisses on the cheek. I guess her only IOS so far have been asking me to go out with her out and asking me to take a picture with her. She hasn't really given me more IOS so im starting to think I should give up already. 3 dates and nothing is way too much. I usually end up making out on the first date in the past... I think it depends... has there been any real flirtatious vibes comin from her? Has there been heavy petting i.e. you kissin her neck and her yours etc? Some girls play hard to get some girls push pull whilst actually moving forward eg date 1 kiss on cheek date 2 kiss on neck etc then date 3 in for the kill... Im an amateur so dont listen to me but trying to play devils advocate

Author:	KnockoutKid [ Tue Jul 20, 2010 1:23 am ]
Post subject:
If I'm at a restaurant I'll usually pay for the wine, or for desert. At a movie I'll probably get a big popcorn for both of us..etc. It doesn't show you as being desperate but still girls appreciate it.

Author:	nmuntz [ Tue Jul 20, 2010 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I think it depends... has there been any real flirtatious vibes comin from her? Has there been heavy petting i.e. you kissin her neck and her yours etc? Some girls play hard to get some girls push pull whilst actually moving forward eg date 1 kiss on cheek date 2 kiss on neck etc then date 3 in for the kill... Im an amateur so dont listen to me but trying to play devils advocate Unfortunately there has been no flirting from her side... We haven't really had the chance though, on one date we went to the theater, next date to the movies were the only IOI was her grabbing my hand after i let hers go, and the other one was a house party were she was more into introducing me to her friends.

Author:	dkjscfklsdfhj [ Tue Jul 20, 2010 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:
Her reinitiating physical contact is a pretty solid IOI. Also her introducing you to her friends could have been as well, if she has the mindset of "I like this guy and I want to show him off to my friends." Go for it, set up a romantic situation and try to physically escalate. Worst case is you force her to LJBF you, and then you aren't wondering about it anymore.

Author:	foxratpig [ Thu Jul 22, 2010 4:14 am ]
Post subject:
I usually follow this formula: The inviter pays for the invitee, unless the invitee insists on contributing their share (there should be at least a couple of 'refusals' from the inviter to be polite) If the invitee (aka the HB) continues wanting to go to expensive restaurants/shows (say 2-3 times), you know you're being used (unless she's already rich and just assumes everyone can afford these things)

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