My day 2's suck, so I'm experimenting on as many girls as I can.
Looking for general advice on how you guys build up things during the Day 2 date, as well as specific advice for my situation.
I'm pretty good looking apparently - I'm a model. I'm stating this because I think possibly what happened was that - she knew I was out of her league, but then got confused because it looked like I was trying to attract her? My other theory is that I couldn't get her hot and bothered enough to want to come home - because she hates kissing, so I avoided it. Also probably I didn't do enough to through the issue of us actually having sex into question - I behaved like it was definitly going to happen.
She's a very "not-in-demand" girl and has shown interest in me - no guys chasing her because she's plain faced and very "alternate" interests and behaviour. Really good body though, and ferocious appetite for sex, so she says. So I'm experimenting with her. Surely I can keep her interested.
Basically the deal was, we were talking on FB chat a while back (we met at a party) and she didn't have anyone to have sex with, once her time finally freed up after her uni stuff is completed, so I "offered my services", and she was thrilled. It was a funny conversation, it went very well, and she's been asking to see me since, on and off. We've had chats and phone calls for a while but after she finished uni I was pretty busy.
But I finally hung out with her 2 weeks ago - and it was very entertaining - found a place where hippies gather, which she really loved, I had her sitting on my lap, she was cuddling into me. But at the end of the night, rather than direct me straight to her house, she was intentionally vague, it seems, and got me to drop her off at some random intersection near her house. To me it seemed she was scared that I would know where she lives. There was lots of flirtatious talk though, even had her showing me her breast shape through her top, and the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. But when we said goodbye she seemed too quick, which makes me think I'd lost some attraction at some point.
So when I got back from my interstate trip last week, I didn't contact her - let her contact me first, just to test her level of interest. Sure enough she did, and she sent an SMS "I assume you're back, and alive?" I replied with a funny message, started out "Yes I am very much both of those things..." etc. and we agreed on a date.
She seemed pretty excited to meet. From what I could tell, she was even worrying that she wouldn't be up to my standards - she was looking up things like how to have good sex, and qualifying herself excessively, whenever I asked her questions about what she likes to do in bed.
I think I did fine with the SMS building up to that moment, she texted back messages of anticipation with smiley faces. We had a nice dinner, I made her get up and belly dance with the belly dancer, we had funny conversations, it went pretty well - I kept alluding to sex "Hm that will make things difficult in the bedroom" etc. and she seemed to react alright, seemed pretty amused.
She kept qualifying herself about dancing, once I mentioned that I look for girls who are good at dancing or take some interest, cause it shows they're good with their body. From then on, she took several opportunities to point out that she's not a good dancer, but she really loves it. And then when she got up and did the belly dancing, I could tell she was really trying to get her sexy dance going (and she did pretty well IMO
) So I took this as an IOI.Actually a hard part of this is she is firm that she's not into kissing. Which is fine by me, except that that's how I've usually built things up to sex in the past. There were moments where she's leaning in to me, and I would kiss in that moment, and build the physical tension that way, but ... well she said she hates kissing, and I verify in that moment too "I have to keep reminding myself you hate kissing" one of her replies was "Well you could try it, but I would be like ...meh". Perhaps I should have just given in and done it... anyway, who knows.
One point she asked "So you said you don't like dinner dates because they get boring, what made you do a dinner date this time?" I answered along the lines of "Well, usually the point there is to 'get to know each other', and yeah its a really boring way of getting to know each other - whereas the point here is to get you laid..." and she interjected "This is true." and I continued "...so I'm just doing something extra here, cause I don't want to just jump into bed with someone, I thought it would be nice to warm up, talk a bit, have a nice dinner, go for a nice walk..." and she was like "aww" and leant into me. But then very soon after in the conversation, she brought up that initial Facebook chat about not having anyone to have sex with, and said - "Well I didn't have anyone to have sex with when I said that, but now I do - they're just really hard to travel to now though." I suspect this was some kind of back peddle, and even though I thought setting the frame "this is just about sex" was a good idea, I'm now thinking, maybe not? Not sure...
Anyway I found a bunch of people dancing to salsa music, and I'm an alright partner dancer - I do modern jive, and I got her up and danced with her in front of everyone, spinning her etc, and I made it happy and fun, and even when I mentioned "it's the wrong rythm for the dance style I'm doing." she said "I dont' care I'm having fun anyway!" and she was all happy and glowing when we walked away, so I figured - time to head home...
Now when I think about it, I can tell the vibe wasn't quite yet at the point where she wanted to rip my clothes off... so maybe that was the problem. But not being able to kiss her made it hard for me to get her to that point. Anyway, read on...
We hopped into the car and I said I have DVDs at home - and that's when things seemed to go downhill. She said "What kinds" but there was a distant tone to her voice, I think... well it wasn't excited. I said I'd rather let her choose, cause I have a lot. I went to explain I have several trilogies - star wars, matrix, lord of the rings, etc. and she cut me off and said "You know I'm in xxxx suburb right?" and I said "That's not far from my place, it's fine" and the conversation became about how she was worried about my travel fuel, and me saying it's not a big deal. She backed down but then said she would be fine for one DVD and then she needed to be dropped off back home.
Well I'm not that stupid, I can tell it was obviously some sort of back peddle, so I threw her a line - said I had to get up early in the morning to travel to my sister's place. She took the bait - suddenly she was SOOO concerned that I needed to get to sleep early, because she would feel guilty if I crashed from being tired tomorrow, during the long drive, and asked me to take her home.
She became increasingly nervous!! She said "I'd hate to say 'no' but I think I better go home." I said "Well you're not saying 'no' to anything..." and she cut me off before I could continue, and said "I'm saying no to coming over" and then I continued "...I mean you're not saying no to anything because I never asked you - it's all up to you. Don't feel pressured either way." And then I missed the turn off, and she got even more nervous! She said "Oh we're going to your house now??" I was confused and said she just had to direct me. , I wasn't sure where she lived, she thought I would remember from last time we hung out, but I didn't remember cause I dropped her off at some random corner actually. Then I looped around and drove through the suburbs to get back to the main intersection, and she started to say how she has no idea where she was...
Finally I just called her out on it, I said "You seem really uncomfortable... and paranoid... it's wierd." and then she started giving silly reasons, like, usually she's the one that likes to drive, etc.
I dropped her off and we said a quick goodbye. Told her to enjoy her day tomorrow, and she enthusiastically said she would, and left quickly.
WTF.
So here I am, horny and confused, typing this post. I mean, that was a pretty nice night! I thought. But I do know that I couldn't feel the sexual tension by the time we got into the car, even though I could feel it for brief moments during the night.
My plan is to just not contact her. If she still wants sex, or liked our night out, she will contact me again. I'm not doing a thing. I think if she does contact me, I will ... act busy? So that she really has to try hard to make time to meet me, and has to really want to. And then when we finally do - be more direct? Feel her up more and kiss her to get her physically ready before heading back to mine?
I dressed up a lot too - but I like to. But perhaps the dinner, dancing, dressing up, made her get confused about me trying to "impress her" when previously she was the one worrying about being up to my standards? But I'm pretty sure I didn't BEHAVE in that way. I just behaved like we were definitely going to have sex (mistake in itself?), and otherwise did my own thing about what I think is fun.
You guys are probably thinking "Wierd chick! Forget about her!" but honestly I'm very suspicious it's something I'm doing, or not doing, because this kind of behaviour is, unfortunately, too common. It's hit and miss. I've had times, where girls just want to rip my clothes off and we do it - other times its weird like this.