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| Best way to make this girl a friends with benefits? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=67272 |
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| Author: | black duck [ Wed May 12, 2010 4:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Best way to make this girl a friends with benefits? |
Last weekend I had sex with a girl that's been friendly acquaintance of mine for the past 3 years or so. I got multiple tips from a mutual friend that she was super into me, and after hitting up the bars I was able to take her home and have some fun. A few things happened during that night/since that night that lead me to believe I can be FWB with this girl. She told me how she's wanted to hook up with me for awhile, she told me that she'd love to do this sober, she left some clothes at my place (has since retrieved them), she's been texting me semi-frequently, according to her roommate she was on my facebook page for a long time checking me out and comparing herself to my ex (pretty weird, but whatever), finally, I know that this girl gets around and is not interested in having a boyfriend. My plan is to just text her on a random weekday when we're both sober, something like "Hey, we should hang out sometime" and see where it goes from there. How's that sound? Personally I'm struggling with how much I need to convey the fact that I'm looking for sex in my text message. I don't want to come off as being too friendly or being overly aggressive. Thoughts? |
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| Author: | Lips_and_Hips [ Thu May 13, 2010 5:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Be very careful here! Quote: She told me how she's wanted to hook up with me for awhile, she told me that she'd love to do this sober, she left some clothes at my place (has since retrieved them), she's been texting me semi-frequently, according to her roommate she was on my facebook page for a long time checking me out and comparing herself to my ex (pretty weird, but whatever), finally, I know that this girl gets around and is not interested in having a boyfriend.
I iknow you say she is not interested in having a boyfriend, but this is kinda classic signs that a girl DOES want you to be her boyfriend. Why would she be texting so much, stalking you on facebook and comparing herself to your ex (this is the HUGE one!). You think it's weird but it's actually pretty common. A lot of my girlfriends do this - when they meet a guy they really like or start going out with, they totally compare themselves to his ex - it's just a trying to get to know you better thing. Like what type of looks you are into and whether she was prettier than us so therefore in your mind do you think you have traded up or down. Seriously it is not an uncommon thing for girls to do. I mean I could be wrong.... She could just want to be FWB with you.... It probably is a good idea to text her something like what you said just keep it casual and then when tyou meet up, just keep an eye on her body language and how she acts around you. Also let her know that you are not looking for a realtionship or anything - tell her this right from the start so there can be no miscommunications because thats when things get messy. Also be careful with this friends with benefits thing - often it doesnt work and one (usually the female because they find it hard to seperate emotions from physical pleasure) will experience feelings towards the other. If you both start haviung feelings towards each other, thats awesome but if not, its pretty dangerous territory. Anyway hope this helps! |
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| Author: | Conker [ Fri May 14, 2010 3:33 am ] |
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Black duck, if you think she likes things casual then you should do it that way, but you can find out more about that by changing the topics to relationships. One thing I'm working on is asking "Are you a relationship type person?" and seeing how that convo goes. Any conversation that gets her to talk about her exs is good, like how they were too clingy, or how lovely it was in a steady relationship. That way she'll communicate what she wants. Still you have to stand out from the crowd in either case though. Though GirlfriendOfAPUA is right - what you described sounds more like she's actually into you. So I'd say get some conversations going. Try to word them in a way that would keep your position neutral (don't make it sound like you're asking for a relationship, or a FB, see if you can keep it neutral) By the kinds of things she says in her response, she will let you know how she feels at that time. I say "at tha ttime' because, just like GFOAPUA said, feelings end up changing over time in casual relationships - I think most relationships should start of casual anyway, and then get serious. So be ready for this, and start particular conversations when you are unsure how she feels about it, to find out. Do not say "We should hang out sometime." that's my advice - you could onlyi get away with that in real life, if you conveyed a lot of awesomeness thorugh your body language and tone of voice when you said it. Txt and chat is pretty bad IMO, avoid it when you can. Escalating a proposition to a phone call makes it a million times more possible she will say yes, when you opening with a frendly "how you doin" and get her smiling and talking before you even ask anything. Text loses all that, and also you are just saying "hang out" which is an IOI but not much incentative behind it. Call her first, try your best to find an excuse to do something together based on what you both talked about - BUT, if the sexual tension is there, and very strong, and still no excuse to hang out is obvious... then you can just say "Hmm we should hang out sometime" with a huge smile in your voice - basically the frame of mind is that - This girl excites you, but there's no excuse yet, so you're just saying it, instead of finding an excuse. If she really likes you (which she obviously does) she will say "Oh... what did you have in mind?" and that's when you pull out some fun activity you thought of earlier - and make it sound like you just thought of it then. |
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| Author: | Rune [ Fri May 14, 2010 6:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Best way to make this girl a friends with benefits? |
Quote: Last weekend I had sex with a girl that's been friendly acquaintance of mine for the past 3 years or so.
Sweet.Quote: I got multiple tips from a mutual friend that she was super into me, and after hitting up the bars I was able to take her home and have some fun.
As it should be.Quote: A few things happened during that night/since that night that lead me to believe I can be FWB with this girl.
K.Quote: She told me how she's wanted to hook up with me for awhile, she told me that she'd love to do this sober, she left some clothes at my place (has since retrieved them), she's been texting me semi-frequently, according to her roommate she was on my facebook page for a long time checking me out and comparing herself to my ex (pretty weird, but whatever), finally, I know that this girl gets around and is not interested in having a boyfriend.
Niceness.You've found a FWB. Quote: My plan is to just text her on a random weekday when we're both sober, something like "Hey, we should hang out sometime" and see where it goes from there.
You're...PLANNING?!Don't fucking do that. Planning = Thinking, and Thinking = jizzhut.com Just do it. Quote: How's that sound?
Sounds good, as long as you stay in the moment.Quote: Personally I'm struggling with how much I need to convey the fact that I'm looking for sex in my text message. I don't want to come off as being too friendly or being overly aggressive. Thoughts?
Stop thinking.I sound MAJOR repetitive, but stop thinking. It works. She wants to fuck you. What's there to critically assess about? She wants you, you want her; have carnal monkey sex. Go fuck her, then post the results. Don't think. Do. |
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