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| What are some common causes preventing day 2s? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=65166 |
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| Author: | Dan Cooper [ Sun Apr 04, 2010 4:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | What are some common causes preventing day 2s? |
Getting day 2s to go along with phone numbers is the heaviest issue I currently have with my game. Although my opening and conversation skills are sub par, I still build enough attraction to be offered phone numbers (with or without indirect statements depending on the situation) by some attractive women. However, the girls always seem to flake on me. Some explanations I have come up with are: 1) I attracted the girl without also making her feel safe in my presence 2) I attracted the girl but after I left she convinced herself that I was simply seducing her and didn't really care to get to know her 3) I attracted the girl but offended and/or rubbed her friends the wrong way and they later convinced her that I am not a nice guy and/or not the type of guy she should date And then there's the last possibility... the one I would have much less control over 4) I didn't really attract the girl, and she was simply gaming me to see if I would accept her number and proceed to call her (as an ego boost to herself) Are there any other common explanations for why girls would give you their numbers, but then flake on you when you tried to set up a date or even just a second opportunity to hang out? Also, what are some good methods to overcome these issues and ensure that I am only receiving quality numbers from girls, and that these girls will respond if I'd like to take them out? I'd also like to offer you guys a small "field report" that may help you guys answer my questions and help me out with these issues as they pertain to me. These are the events leading up to and including the most recent time a girl flaked on me. Two Fridays ago, me and two of my really good buddies decided to go out with one of their lab partners and his social circle to a series of parties. First we would gather and play pong at a guy's apartment, then proceed to a dance party to visit some of the other group's female friends, and finally proceed to one guy's girlfriend's house for what was supposedly a huge house party. We went to the beer pong thing (wasn't exactly a tournament... just enough tables such that nobody had to wait that long to get in on a game). There were no girls here, but that was expected. We pregamed by playing a couple games of pong, and then proceeded to the dance party right around the time it was set to start. We arrived at the dance party and I was introduced to the girls who lived in this apartment. There were roughly 8 girls there at the time, the group I came with that was 6 of us deep, and there were 3 other guys there (all of who were congregated against the wall)... no one was dancing So me and my two buddies proceeded to meet all the girls who lived at this place and build a little comfort and attraction. After meeting the girls and joking around with them for about 15 minutes, we did them the favor of getting the dance party started, getting the guys who were just standing against the walls and drinking involved, and then we headed out to the supposedly big party we were going to... without any thoughts we would return to the dance party. Lo and beyold, the giant party wasn't so giant. I'm not really sure if it was ever supposed to be or if my buddies' friend (whose girlfriend lived there) had just misunderstood the occasion. so we stayed for a little while and had some fun, but then me and my two friends decided to go back to the dance party. When we walked back into the dance party, we hailed the main group of girls we had been chatting up earlier. One cute girl who I was talking to started dancing on me a little bit, but I started to back away a bit in a playful manner and kept her talking to me (I'm a terrible dancer and I was really just in the mood to practice my game). Every few seconds I would take another step backwards as we talked, and like clockwork she would follow suite. I had essentially turned this occasion into a game in my head... I wanted to see how far I could make he walk while keeping her interested in conversation. And I did a pretty good job of it. I walked her in a pattern I will try to draw below, but I essentially walked her from one corner of the room diagonally across to the the opposite corner and then along the wall to the adjacent corner and finally to the middle of the room where I stopped and danced with her a little bit. (1) ....\ ......\ ........\.....(4) ..........\./ ........../.\ ......../.....\ ....../.........\ (3)/----------\(2) I moved from 1 to 2 to 3 to 4. There were only a few hitches in the fluid motion at which times she did not directly follow me as I took a step back at which times I confidently pretended to stare at something else in the room and stopped talking. Each time I did this, she touched my chest and/or should and asked me a question to get back my attention, and she proceeded to step even closer to me at these times than what was our normal distance throughout the night. I responded to this by either placing my hand on her should too (if she placed her hand on my shoulder) or playfully pushing her away (if she touched my chest) in a "I like you but not enough to let you touch me" sort of manner (of course without saying that aloud). By the end of this journey, we kissed a little bit and then she proceeds to tell me, "Alright I have a confession to make. I have a boyfriend but I want your phone number so I can call you when we break up." I could tell this was just a line, but its the absolute worst line I have ever heard. So I turned, said "O I see how it is," and walked away. She however grabbed my shoulder, said "no its not like that" (which made about as little sense as my response to her a few seconds earlier), and asked to exchange numbers again. I complied. A few minutes later she said she had to go use the restroom so I bailed with my friends who were getting ready to leave anyways. She texted me a few minutes later bitching me out for leaving (in a teasing manner). I responded by lying that I was going to a club (even though I was really going to chill on my friends couch). She proceeded to shoot me texts until around 2 am (the last one to wish me goodnight), and then when I awoke the next morning I had a friend request on facebook from her at 9am. I have to imagine I was the last thing she thought about before going to bed and the first thought she had when waking up. So I waited a few days, called her up, and invited her and her two cutest friends to come chill with my and my two buddies who I was out with that night. When she answered the phone, her voice cracked in a nervous/excited manner and she seemed really psyched to hang out with me again. Then two hours later I got a text from her stating that she doesn't drink during the school week and can't make it out to our thing. I responded something like, "sticking to your morals is an attractive quality, but they do say all rules are rules of thumb." She responded with some lame excuse of something she had to do later that night anyways so that day wouldn't be good. I left the situation at that without a response to not seem needy. However, its been over a week and I do plan on calling her again (along with a lot of other people) to attend a bar-b-q me and my roommate are hosting soon. We'll see how that goes. If you guys need more stories about girls flaking on me to get inside my head and help me figure out what I am doing wrong, I regrettably have plenty more to offer. However, if you guys have any advice or explanations for me, I'm all ears And thanks for bearing with me throughout this long-ass post |
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| Author: | Conker [ Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
My feeling is you generated a really strong level of attraction, but you didn't start reciprocating her interest soon enough. If you have that much power over a girl, and then play it too cool - she feels like an idiot for being so into you and quickly bails. Then it's hard to not suddenly look like you're back peddling when you try to ask her out again, several times... You can't constantly be afraid of looking too needy. At some point you have to start going "Yeah let's hang out, it'll be awesome" or something. Basically you have to make it look like - yeah you were cool and indifferent, but now you're starting to be convinced that she's actually pretty cool, and so you, as the male, are now deciding to show more interest in her and take her out to some fun things. And THEN if you think you moved forward enough that she seems to feel like she has too much power and back away - then you back away a bit and she thinks she's losing you and comes back. Because unfortunately, if you play it too cool, you become a "player" in their eyes. Don't forget what you're trying to do here - create a fun relationship. You can't stay forever in the "I'm too cool for you" stage. |
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| Author: | Dan Cooper [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 6:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah, I've been considering that as a possible problem, especially in this case. I just really need to find that grey area (which should come with experience) as I have also been burned by several girls for coming off as needy. I feel like my relationships seem to go real well when I am allowing the girl to chase me, and then they head south when I turn around and start chasing the girl. I guess I should tone down the "too cool for school" attitude a bit when I'm meeting a girl, but I also need to keep it in the back of my mind to never settle with a girl and allow her to start making me chase her |
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| Author: | Conker [ Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Then it sounds like you have to work on the way you show interest, as to be dominant and that you are in control of it. |
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