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Struggling with timing of kiss close
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Author:  skypirate1965 [ Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Struggling with timing of kiss close
Hi Guys,

I was on a second 'date' a day 3 call it what you want and after a lot of talk, something to eat and drink and a tour of an art exhibition. We walked back to her car and then drove back to a station. We were not in a position to go to her place or mine. In the car I went in for a kiss close at the end of the day, and despite lots of tonguing from her I didn't feel she wanted to kiss. I've text her to meet again but no response so far. She has been prompt up until now. It doesn't look good.

I was being quite touchy and got in bits of kino a lot of the time before that. I was also steering talk to more sexual areas. I was very conscious that if I didn't escalate on this date I'd probably be put in the friends zone. I think I should have gone for the kiss close while we were walking to her car and there was one opportunity to do it. Maybe kissing properly at the end may have freaked her.

I have the feeling that if it is not logistically good to escalate to full sex then the kiss close is doomed. Any good alternatives?
Author:  JSmooth [ Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Struggling with timing of kiss close
Quote:
Hi Guys,

I was on a second 'date' a day 3 call it what you want and after a lot of talk, something to eat and drink and a tour of an art exhibition. We walked back to her car and then drove back to a station. We were not in a position to go to her place or mine. In the car I went in for a kiss close at the end of the day, and despite lots of tonguing from her I didn't feel she wanted to kiss. I've text her to meet again but no response so far. She has been prompt up until now. It doesn't look good.

I was being quite touchy and got in bits of kino a lot of the time before that. I was also steering talk to more sexual areas. I was very conscious that if I didn't escalate on this date I'd probably be put in the friends zone. I think I should have gone for the kiss close while we were walking to her car and there was one opportunity to do it. Maybe kissing properly at the end may have freaked her.

I have the feeling that if it is not logistically good to escalate to full sex then the kiss close is doomed. Any good alternatives?
Timing of the kiss close just comes down with experience. The more you go on dates and meet women the more you will "feel" when the timing is right. I typically go for the kiss mid-way through a date or interaction if I can. The reason for this is most guys put it off til the end of the date and it can be akward at times, not saying yours was.

If the kino is working out and she's even touching you back some then I generally go for it. Again, if I have a feeling that she doesn't want to then I'll keep working on kino and establishing some comfort. Based on what you posted probably going back to the car would have been a good time.

Instead of waiting for obvious places to kiss women like back at the car, or at the end of the date I like to keep girls on their toes. I might hold their hand going down the street. Stop walking then swing her around into my arms, and then pull them in for a quick kiss. Just stuff I personally like to do! I like being different than what the normal guy would do.

I wouldn't go as far as to say if you can't escalate to sex then the kiss close is doomed. I would say that if you are on Day 3 without a kiss then that could be part of it. Try to go for the kiss close the first date each time, and if not be sure to on the second. You want to start kino escalating early in your interactions and doing it often. The kiss then becomes not a big deal to the girl but just the next step based on the kino. :)

Jon
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks J,

looking back on it I missed the best chance while walking back to her car. I also realise now she didnt return any touches. Kissing in a car is not really allowing her a chance to get away or avoid it. Though she gave so much tongue and I wasnt pushed away. I had a feeling she was just responding to the moment. I think I was more concerned with being categorised as a friend then judging if it was the best thing to do. I have a feeling that I may have been better to have done the standard kisses on the cheeks goodbye. Oh well. Next time.
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'll just give an update on this. I emailled the woman and mentioned nothing and just sent links to a movie on Youtube, I mentioned it on our date. Later on I received a text/sms from her which said about meeting again. I've emailled her and suggested meeting again this weekend.This will be a day 4 but she should know where she stands with me I hope she doesn't try to morph this to a LJBF
Author:  Randomly [ Wed Dec 09, 2009 12:33 am ]
Post subject: 
You could try the mystery method kiss close from the book The Game.


You : Do you want to kiss me?

1.
She : Yes. Kiss her but this isnt a common answer

2.
She : I dont know. (or if she hesitates)
You : Well lets find out (kiss her)

3.
She : No
You : I didnt say you could. It just looked like you had something on your mind.


As described in the book this is a fail safe thing :)
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Wed Dec 09, 2009 7:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Yes that's a good option too. I'm more of a direct person so it seems like it's more indirect. I'll have to try it.

When I see this woman again I'll try to escalate a bit more. I think I'll play on her quirky adventurous side. She seems to be a risk taker.
Author:  TheJ [ Wed Dec 09, 2009 3:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey Sky,

To break the ice sort of speek, you could go with the Hershy kiss gambit. Basically have a few hershy kisses on you (make sure it's somewhere they won't melt) and say " Want a kiss? ", after that you can go either way. If you feel like teasing hand her a chocolate, if you don't just kiss her. If you've teased her you can play on it to "What? you seemed surprised. What naughty things did you have in mind?" or any variant you would prefer. If she says no you can go with something like "sure" and then take one out and eat it. Most likely she will laugh or make a comment about it then you can tease her back. Ask her again later, she will most likely say yes at some point and you can go for it.

All in all it's good even though you don't kiss right away with this.
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Thu Dec 10, 2009 9:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks TheJ,

Another idea to try.

I've had another mail from the woman and looks as though she's flaking on meeting again...and justs ent a mail to try and salvage this, but not holding my breath.

Sky
Author:  tweeby [ Thu Dec 10, 2009 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey that's a bitch. Kiss closing is so important on a day 2 really.

I really hope she gives you another chance. Logically, she should, but we all know women DON'T RESPOND to logic. I hope that last email you sent her had nothing logical in it...
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
I negged her a bit on her choice of words "probably" and "might". I said that I thought she was a more decisive and strong character. Other than that I didn't beg or anything. I said I would be in her town on such a day such a time. It's up to her.
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Fri Dec 11, 2009 10:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Update 2.

I got an email back from the woman and she has agreed to meet again tomorrow. The email hints at some past tragedy and I suspect she may back off if I handle it wrong. She's mentioned a few times that she's had a problem with her computer. I've mailled her back said a bit more about myself, confirmed aspects of the meeting and hinted that I should go back to her place to check that computer out.So things could be good.
Author:  Randomly [ Fri Dec 11, 2009 12:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
i dont know if that hint to go fix her computer was smart. but anyway good luck!
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Fri Dec 11, 2009 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Randomly

I think I need to play this very cool. The hint about fixing the computer was done with a joke following it and was not blunt imho. She had mentioned it in her email to me and had mentioned when we met the other time so she maybe hinting. Who knows? I won't push it. My plan is to meet her and keep it light and fun. I'll try my best to steer it so we can go to her place but may have to move slowly. I don't mind slow and progressing as long as it doesn't fall into LJBF. Even if I do get to her place I may even make NO move on her. That should throw her off and cause some confusion! i'll judge it as it happens.
Author:  Rawky [ Fri Dec 11, 2009 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Be careful if you make no move, though. That might quickly push you to the LJBF. Are you still planning on showing romantic interest besides going all the way? At least, another attempt at a kiss, right?
Author:  skypirate1965 [ Sat Dec 12, 2009 12:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Rawky,

I should have clarified that if I get to her place I may just kiss her and not much more, certainly not sex. Hopefully I'll retain control if she starts tonguing.The best I've been given for a long time, so it maybe hard to resist. I should see her later today. I'll keep people posted.
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