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Do you really not pay?
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Author:  happenstance [ Tue Aug 21, 2007 3:00 am ]
Post subject:  Do you really not pay?
On the second day or whatever--when we go out to dinner or whatever, am I really not supposed to pay? I feel weird about that. Can somebody explain the actual procedure/routine/script for doing this?

I've been paying even though the girl usually tries to split it, because otherwise I feel cheap (Of course I am cheap anyway, because I'm so broke from paying for all these damn meals!).
Author:  Mech [ Tue Aug 21, 2007 4:06 am ]
Post subject: 
There's no routine, just don't pay. All you're doing by paying is showing that you have lower value than she does, and that it's such a privelage to spend time with her that you'll pay for her dinner. That's a pretty AFC message to send.
Author:  Methuselah [ Tue Aug 21, 2007 5:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Can this please be the last time this question is asked?
Author:  Mech [ Tue Aug 21, 2007 5:07 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Can this please be the last time this question is asked?
Could you write me a list of openers/negs/routines?
What's the best book for _______ ?
What do you do if a neg backfires?
Mystery's VH1 show/ The Game is ruining the seduction community!
Author:  tdboy [ Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Mech,

I have to disagree with you. The show will not ruin the community. Let's think about it.

Human nature has it that people will tend to forget this stuff. You know another thing, this stuff takes effort. There are few people willing to put that effort in.

Watching this is like watching a movie. The borne ultimatum is cool now. In 10 years it might be cool. There will be other things that exist. I tell chicks about this PUA community all the time. They are skeptical on it. The only thing that can backfire on us is the fact that we use the same opener ever time from everyone.

I really don’t think people will completely buy into the whole deal even if it becomes mainstream.

TDBOY
Author:  North [ Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:36 am ]
Post subject: 
No, do not buy.

I remember last week I chatted up a couple of girls who had been looking at me for a long while, and when we all asked for drinks, I only paid for mine. It actually gave them a good feeling, because I showed them I'm not like every other creep who tries to pay them off.
Author:  fatboy [ Tue Aug 21, 2007 12:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Mech,

I have to disagree with you. The show will not ruin the community. Let's think about it.

Human nature has it that people will tend to forget this stuff. You know another thing, this stuff takes effort. There are few people willing to put that effort in.

Watching this is like watching a movie. The borne ultimatum is cool now. In 10 years it might be cool. There will be other things that exist. I tell chicks about this PUA community all the time. They are skeptical on it. The only thing that can backfire on us is the fact that we use the same opener ever time from everyone.

I really don’t think people will completely buy into the whole deal even if it becomes mainstream.

TDBOY
He was just joking, but that is a good answer anyways :D
Author:  duck [ Tue Aug 21, 2007 6:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'll pay but depends on context. Me and a couple of ladies - bar law dictates that you catch a round every once in a while (that includes your bartender - they can be the greatest wing EVER if you keep a good relationship with them. They all know whats going on).

I don't buy just to buy and I don't buy the first. Say we are about 3 drinks in - I'll pick one up (I usually get charged less or it's actually picked up for me by the bartender - many is a time I had a 20 and get a 10, 5 and 5 ones back - they know the score) Then again - most women can not keep up with my intake so it's natural to be buying drinks at different times.
Author:  happenstance [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I'll pay but depends on context. Me and a couple of ladies - bar law dictates that you catch a round every once in a while (that includes your bartender - they can be the greatest wing EVER if you keep a good relationship with them. They all know whats going on).

I don't buy just to buy and I don't buy the first. Say we are about 3 drinks in - I'll pick one up (I usually get charged less or it's actually picked up for me by the bartender - many is a time I had a 20 and get a 10, 5 and 5 ones back - they know the score) Then again - most women can not keep up with my intake so it's natural to be buying drinks at different times.
Cool. But I thought they advise you not to drink when you go sarging. How does that work?
Author:  happenstance [ Thu Aug 23, 2007 11:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Mech,

I have to disagree with you. The show will not ruin the community. Let's think about it.

Human nature has it that people will tend to forget this stuff. You know another thing, this stuff takes effort. There are few people willing to put that effort in.

Watching this is like watching a movie. The borne ultimatum is cool now. In 10 years it might be cool. There will be other things that exist. I tell chicks about this PUA community all the time. They are skeptical on it. The only thing that can backfire on us is the fact that we use the same opener ever time from everyone.

I really don’t think people will completely buy into the whole deal even if it becomes mainstream.

TDBOY
Yeah, Beat the Dealer came out in 1962. Half a million copies have been sold, but how many MIT Blackjack Teams are there? Not many.
Author:  Lefty Kirkcaldy [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 8:53 am ]
Post subject: 
How about this for a No Pay substitute if your not ready to just not pay on a Day 2 outing.

Don't give any indication that you are going to be paying for anything and then when the time comes, pay for it and just say:

PUA: You can pay me back later...

or something to that effect.
Author:  Red1975 [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
To pay or not to pay....well, as a girl I can tell you that a guy who never pays comes across as mean and tight. Not attractive at all. Not all girls are rich either and can pay for the guys and themselves all the time.
I always go halves when i can, some guys insist on paying and that is kinda sweet, but when it is the first date, it CAN feel like you owe him something. I do quite like it if a guy pays for me though, at times, it can be charming and sexy...man taking charge (in a non threatening way!).

I have to be careful here coz some girls LOVE it when a man pays for everything and will look at you weird or not warm to you if you don't pay for them. However, most intelligent, independent women will be happier if it goes, you pay for the meal, she pays for the drinks...or she buys a round, you buy a round.

I usually alternate with a guy when we go out, take it in turns. They seem to appreciate I am not expecting them to pay for me all night, and sometimes it even makes them want to pay for me more, my willingness to split it. I don't do it as a game plan, I genuinely want to offer to make it fair.
When dating alot, it can be bloody expensive so best to be as fair as possible. Any girls who just goes for a guy just because they flash their cash is not the kind of girl I would be friends with.
Author:  jbs10 [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
I understand the mindset of not paying, but from my experience, if done right, paying is more beneficial.

If you make it out to not be a big deal, as though the money isn't an issue; you end up giving off a vibe of a more financially stable man that can take care of a woman. A man who doesn't pay is often looked down upon by women, I have found. This is the case with more mature, older women at least. Again, from my experience. I've done the whole not paying thing with younger women and that has worked well too. It's all situational really.
Author:  Red1975 [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes...agree.
It is far cooler, sexier and more attractive if a guy can pay without making a big deal of it (like she should be so grateful, if she is nice, she will appreciate it without you making a thing of it). But as you say, it all depends on the situation.

Some girls find it insulting, others find it flattering. My honest truth is that I kind of find it flattering...splitting costs are fine and fair, especially for a first date when you don't know if you'll even see each other again...but second date is nice to be paid for or at least have the offer and then split it, it shows the guy thinks you're worth it.
As I say, it's old fashioned, but can work. I do know girls who hate a guy paying though! lol...I'm not sure a one size fits all rule works for this!
:D
x
Author:  duck [ Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
RE: drinking while sarging.

I drink 2-5 nights a week - it doesn't affect me as I have an excellent tolerance. You learn to recognize the IOI's in your drinking (IOI = indicator of intoxication) and self discipline keeps you in check then.

I don't really sarge either - its all inner game to me with an attitude that is on 100% of the time - no conscious effort to "sarge" because who I am (now) is obviously interesting and my personality is such that it's easy for me to do things I would have never been able to do a few month/years ago.

Thats the goal - make it less of an activity and more of a lifestyle - Planet Hollywood in "The Game".
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