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| Author: | Nowhere Man [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | recovery |
friday night i kind of botched a close, hb who was into me left with her friend, and I got her # and went home. it wasn't the prettiest exit but not the ugliest either. So then Saturday afternoon I started to tell one of my buddies, whos a natural, my experiences from the previous night. "I said yeah I don't know how I feel about the end of the night, it wasn't the smoothest thing in the world..." He said "no man you're fine just text her right now." He helped me out on what to say and after a few rounds of texting it ended up with me saying "let me know what youre up to tonight" and she quickly responded with "you too!" Great right, i know. But then an hour later I was walking around town with him and he decides its a good idea to call her... i thought leave it alone for now, but then again he helped me get that far, I trust him. So I say fine you do it (the alcohol may have influenced us at this point in time) and he calls and leaves her a voice mail pretending to be me, telling her to let me know what she does tonight.. it honestly was a good voice mail, ballsier than everyone else who just texts nowadays, but we already established everything he said in it so I felt it was kinda weird. No contact w/ her since then, that was saturday evening. its a funny story and my friend still insists that i'll hear from her so maybe i am worried about nothing. but if i did screw up a little, I still think I can recover, I just don't know my next move. possible angles to take - -should i facebook friend her, text her again, or call her again, or wait until i see her again? (that will happen, either through our mutual friend or just around campus.) when that contact is made, however it is made, i can: -pretend phone call never happened -joke about the voice mail, blame it on the alcohol, drinkings totally acceptable around here, hell she was probably drunk when she heard it -tell her phone call wasnt me my bud stole my phone -tell her it was me, risking that she knows it wasnt -be super direct, text/fb/call "i'm doing X at X time do you want to come" OR the opposite -go with a more conversational, flirty approach -wait -any other ideas? I think if I play this right i can easily recover, im just not sure what the best play is. |
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| Author: | Conker [ Mon Aug 31, 2009 4:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
One thing I have learned, is never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever (I can't type ever enough here) let ANYONE tell you "what to do next" and follow the instructions exactly. NEVER. Doesn't matter if they're a best friend, doesn't matter if they're a girl with "inside information" doesn't matter if they're an old experienced PUA, doesn't matter if they're your dad, doesn't matter if they're your ex, etc, etc. What you want are guidelines, general ideas, concepts, and from that, you form your own actions customised to your particular personality and your particular situation, because only you can do that. People can give you "advice" on what to do next, but you shouldn't blindly follow it word for word, it has to be assimulated as more information to help you decide what to do next. And people trying to "help you" are usually way too eager and pushy. If anything, at least you learn by being pushed into it and doing something and seeing how it goes wrong and learning from that, as opposed to doing nothing at all. My suggestions are - tell her that was your friend trying to "help you out" etc. and/or just leave it, and contact her at some later date. No sure thing though. |
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| Author: | Nowhere Man [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I've learned a big lesson in that respect, trust me... although sometimes having a friend to be pushy and force you along can be very valuable. you have to go with your gut. when he was helping me text, my gut told me it was a good move. the phone call, i knew it was the wrong call. i see no reason to give up pursuing this girl, however. if i creeped her out, i might as well find out that i creeped her out. what do i have to lose??? what do you think about me facebooking her, apologizing for not getting back to her, turning the tables? ie "sorry i didn't get back to you saturday, i had a crazy day..." |
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| Author: | dw3llz [ Tue Sep 01, 2009 11:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: "sorry i didn't get back to you saturday, i had a crazy day..."
personally lines like these fail hard when u DID get back to her and she DIDNT get back to you. Just shrug that shit off and try and meet up. If u end up just facebooking or texting her too often ull probably end up in the "some guy" categorya wise man once said "Just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh? he's just some guy I went to some thing with once. " play it right -dw3llz |
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