PUA Forum :: flaky girl frustration

To demonstrate this you need to build more comfort and rapport with her. You need to go out with her some and not esclate anything and don't let it happen, RESIST. You need to let her really get to know you and build a connection with you. When you balance this out the rest will work out better.

Quote:

Doing this is SOOO HARD!

Are you advising this restraint in situations where you're looking for a girlfriend?? What if you're looking just for a casual friend w/benefits or FB. Do the same principles still apply. I would imagine comfort is important in any type of relationship, even an FB relationship.

It sounds to me this girl has higher interest in other people and that's why she's flaky. That doesn't mean you're not of interest, though you still have positive communication. There's a lot you can do (but do u REALLY care? - there are many women out there who aren't MIA / Missing in Action) You need higher value. A scarce product is in high demand. If this girl can get you anytime she wants it, why would she want it enough to turn down a better deal that comes her way, even if she did have plans with you. Right now you're just a smaller blip on her radar. The best way you're going increase your value is by actually GETTING HIGHER VALUE. Busy up your schedule a bit more and it just may be the difference needed for you to act according. When you finally get her on that date, you can work on increasing attraction (you won't do it by texting all day). Just my opinion.

Quote:

NightFall,

I agree with this and I disagree. I definitely agree that you need to be a higher value and shouldn't be available all the time to talk or message. I also agree that using text won't cut it either.

I'm not sure more attraction is what he needs. Here is why I say that. He got a number and he's communicating with her which is GREAT.

When a girl gets flakey 95% of the time there is not enough comfort established. What goes through the girls head is something along the lines of well he's cute, and attractive! Well she thinks lots of guys are cute and attractive just as we do with women. Just because she gives her # out doesn't mean she's going on a date with you.

When you start asking for a date the girl thinks to herself. Well he's cute but I don't really know anything about him. Then she can envision herself on past awkward dates with little conversation, awkward silences over coffee or dinner. So instead of going on the date she avoids it because she doesn't know much about you or what you two are going to talk about. Hence why a certain amount more of comfort needs to be established.

If she wasn't attracted to him she wouldn't be talking to him. PERIOD.

Jon

Jsmooth. Will a girl go out with you because you are mysterious. So she knows nothing about you but she knows that you are a cool guy with great social value(you have a life and friends) and dont need anything from her. You are C&F . Can mystery(being mysterious), in your experience, make a girl date you.

Author:	crazy1320 [ Mon Jul 06, 2009 9:40 pm ]
Post subject:	flaky girl frustration
okay to start i suppose this is a day 2 sort of thing there is some girl ive known a while ive been to a club with her she danced dirty with me grinding up and such ive made out with her and had naughty kino but she is just generally flaky cancelling at last moments on dates and such but then she texts me, calls me and messages me all the time its just very mixed messages im getting here flaky on dates but ever willing to contact me ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time explain please?

Author:	JSmooth [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 12:15 am ]
Post subject:
There is almost a 3 way balance to a good realtionship. ATTRACTION COMFORT SEDUCTION You definitely have the attraction and went into the seduction phases some by making out with her. You are the seducer in that you forgot about comfort. A girl needs to know that she can genuinely hang out with a guy and him not want to get in her pants all the time. She wants to know you two can enjoy life and just chill. To demonstrate this you need to build more comfort and rapport with her. You need to go out with her some and not esclate anything and don't let it happen, RESIST. You need to let her really get to know you and build a connection with you. When you balance this out the rest will work out better. 3-4 Good dates or roughly 4 - 5 hours spent with her on basic non-dates if you will where there is no escalation but you to hanging out will work. You can continue with some light kino or some statements of interest but you just don't push it to sex or making out. Keep it really LIGHT. Follow this and you will get her, Jon

Author:	AlphaEmo [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:40 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: To demonstrate this you need to build more comfort and rapport with her. You need to go out with her some and not esclate anything and don't let it happen, RESIST. You need to let her really get to know you and build a connection with you. When you balance this out the rest will work out better. Doing this is SOOO HARD! Are you advising this restraint in situations where you're looking for a girlfriend?? What if you're looking just for a casual friend w/benefits or FB. Do the same principles still apply. I would imagine comfort is important in any type of relationship, even an FB relationship.

Author:	Nightfall [ Tue Jul 07, 2009 3:57 pm ]
Post subject:
It sounds to me this girl has higher interest in other people and that's why she's flaky. That doesn't mean you're not of interest, though you still have positive communication. There's a lot you can do (but do u REALLY care? - there are many women out there who aren't MIA / Missing in Action) You need higher value. A scarce product is in high demand. If this girl can get you anytime she wants it, why would she want it enough to turn down a better deal that comes her way, even if she did have plans with you. Right now you're just a smaller blip on her radar. The best way you're going increase your value is by actually GETTING HIGHER VALUE. Busy up your schedule a bit more and it just may be the difference needed for you to act according. When you finally get her on that date, you can work on increasing attraction (you won't do it by texting all day). Just my opinion.

Author:	JSmooth [ Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:15 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: To demonstrate this you need to build more comfort and rapport with her. You need to go out with her some and not esclate anything and don't let it happen, RESIST. You need to let her really get to know you and build a connection with you. When you balance this out the rest will work out better. Doing this is SOOO HARD! Are you advising this restraint in situations where you're looking for a girlfriend?? What if you're looking just for a casual friend w/benefits or FB. Do the same principles still apply. I would imagine comfort is important in any type of relationship, even an FB relationship. YES I would! Look, I can tell you that I have pulled my fair share of Single Night Lays (SNLs) and created Friends w/ Benefits relationships. You need some comfort in all of these. No girl wants to really have sex with someone without knowing something about them. Granted this happens a few times in most girls lives but not that often. Women need to know who they are f-cking, if you'll excuse my crudeness. They want to know something about the guy. There is a certain amount of comfort you need. Captain Jack, one of the best mPUAs in the world and the kind of Single Night Lays once said after you gain attraction, going sexual, you go into comfort building and light kino. After that, "You just hang out until sex happens." Still the element is needed now in some cases you might need more comfort than others. If you want a relationship like traditional bf/gf then need more comfort. If just looking for a One Night Deal then probably just a few hours of comfort. I think that answers your question, Jon

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Author:	JSmooth [ Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:20 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: It sounds to me this girl has higher interest in other people and that's why she's flaky. That doesn't mean you're not of interest, though you still have positive communication. There's a lot you can do (but do u REALLY care? - there are many women out there who aren't MIA / Missing in Action) You need higher value. A scarce product is in high demand. If this girl can get you anytime she wants it, why would she want it enough to turn down a better deal that comes her way, even if she did have plans with you. Right now you're just a smaller blip on her radar. The best way you're going increase your value is by actually GETTING HIGHER VALUE. Busy up your schedule a bit more and it just may be the difference needed for you to act according. When you finally get her on that date, you can work on increasing attraction (you won't do it by texting all day). Just my opinion. NightFall, I agree with this and I disagree. I definitely agree that you need to be a higher value and shouldn't be available all the time to talk or message. I also agree that using text won't cut it either. I'm not sure more attraction is what he needs. Here is why I say that. He got a number and he's communicating with her which is GREAT. When a girl gets flakey 95% of the time there is not enough comfort established. What goes through the girls head is something along the lines of well he's cute, and attractive! Well she thinks lots of guys are cute and attractive just as we do with women. Just because she gives her # out doesn't mean she's going on a date with you. When you start asking for a date the girl thinks to herself. Well he's cute but I don't really know anything about him. Then she can envision herself on past awkward dates with little conversation, awkward silences over coffee or dinner. So instead of going on the date she avoids it because she doesn't know much about you or what you two are going to talk about. Hence why a certain amount more of comfort needs to be established. If she wasn't attracted to him she wouldn't be talking to him. PERIOD. Jon

Author:	Nightfall [ Wed Jul 08, 2009 4:19 pm ]
Post subject:
Valid point, you got me thinking =)

Author:	crazy1320 [ Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:	:)
mr smooth i like the advice i will post the results here in a week or two

Author:	Marc [ Thu Jul 09, 2009 3:28 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: It sounds to me this girl has higher interest in other people and that's why she's flaky. That doesn't mean you're not of interest, though you still have positive communication. There's a lot you can do (but do u REALLY care? - there are many women out there who aren't MIA / Missing in Action) You need higher value. A scarce product is in high demand. If this girl can get you anytime she wants it, why would she want it enough to turn down a better deal that comes her way, even if she did have plans with you. Right now you're just a smaller blip on her radar. The best way you're going increase your value is by actually GETTING HIGHER VALUE. Busy up your schedule a bit more and it just may be the difference needed for you to act according. When you finally get her on that date, you can work on increasing attraction (you won't do it by texting all day). Just my opinion. NightFall, I agree with this and I disagree. I definitely agree that you need to be a higher value and shouldn't be available all the time to talk or message. I also agree that using text won't cut it either. I'm not sure more attraction is what he needs. Here is why I say that. He got a number and he's communicating with her which is GREAT. When a girl gets flakey 95% of the time there is not enough comfort established. What goes through the girls head is something along the lines of well he's cute, and attractive! Well she thinks lots of guys are cute and attractive just as we do with women. Just because she gives her # out doesn't mean she's going on a date with you. When you start asking for a date the girl thinks to herself. Well he's cute but I don't really know anything about him. Then she can envision herself on past awkward dates with little conversation, awkward silences over coffee or dinner. So instead of going on the date she avoids it because she doesn't know much about you or what you two are going to talk about. Hence why a certain amount more of comfort needs to be established. If she wasn't attracted to him she wouldn't be talking to him. PERIOD. Jon Jsmooth. Will a girl go out with you because you are mysterious. So she knows nothing about you but she knows that you are a cool guy with great social value(you have a life and friends) and dont need anything from her. You are C&F . Can mystery(being mysterious), in your experience, make a girl date you.

Author:	crazy1320 [ Mon Jul 13, 2009 10:00 pm ]
Post subject:	.
did what u said went out with the girl no agenda just was jokey funny etc etc etc i noticed that day my kino got no resistance what so ever i think your idea actually worked quite well

Author:	JSmooth [ Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:18 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Jsmooth. Will a girl go out with you because you are mysterious. So she knows nothing about you but she knows that you are a cool guy with great social value(you have a life and friends) and dont need anything from her. You are C&F . Can mystery(being mysterious), in your experience, make a girl date you. Marc, Being Mysterious in my experience is not enough. Maybe I never pulled it off the right way or whatever but no. I think most girls want to have a certain amount of knowledge of a person before going out with them. That occurs in comfort. Let's face facts she has met a lot of cool guys with great social value that they don't know a lot about. Doesn't mean she dates all of them! Women need a little more than that, they want a connection to someone. Jon

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