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Upcoming date. Totally clueless and AFC. Help wanted.
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Author:  SolidJackson [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 1:51 am ]
Post subject:  Upcoming date. Totally clueless and AFC. Help wanted.

So this is a rather long one, but please stay with me.
I'll be eternally grateful, or whatever. Okay? =)

First off, I'm somewhat of a rookie in the PUA community and although I would not consider myself totally AFC I do possess an uncanny knack of going COMPLETELY AFC whenever my feelings for a girl surpasses "causual". That being said, here's my dilemma:

A couple of months ago, me and the boys were having a couple of beers at a local pub along with a couple of HB's (friends of a friend or summat). Anyways, this really cute girl (a HB 9 I'd say, might of been a 7 though, my judgement gets cloudy around redheads) starts giving me IOI's, so I turn my boyish charm on and manage to kiss+number close before the night ends. For whatever reason, I never ended up calling her after that night. Let's call her Lily henceforth.

Fast forward 3 weeks: My friend is trying to hit it off with one Lily's friends and invites them both along to join us at a club. I stayed casual with Lily throughout the night, striking up some random conversation and had a couple of laughs. Anyway, a few days later my friends suggests that I ask Lily out for coffee, hinting heavily that he'd heard she was interested.

So I decided to call her and although I'm afraid I came off as completely AFC we're on for coffee tomorrow. Now, Lily is somewhat shy and since I tend to go AFC in these situations I'm really nervous. Should I just try to build rapport and comfort? Or get another Kiss-close? Or something entirely different?

I hope at least some of all that made sense. Helpful tips, pointers etc. would be much appreciated! (and desperately needed). /Jackson

Author:  fabie [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 3:00 am ]
Post subject: 

First of all head up on the Johnny Bravo avatar ;)

Secondly, dude take it easy don't worry and become nervous thats the worst thing that can happen. Just be yourself.

Ok, now you are going to have to make some plans for tomorrow, when you approach her in the coffee shop, or she approaches you, do so with high energy to set the standard for yourself and tone of the next couple minutes to come. So for example, Walk in and say "Hello hello, how are you?" and give her a hug. And then right away go into conversation material like normal, e.g. "You know in France they kiss instead of hug, so when I met this French girl once I wanted to give her a hug, but instead are heads collided because she wanted to kiss my cheek, created quite a awkward situation :) ... blah blah" start with stories etc, create a easy going environment (the trick to doing that is creating some tension).

And you are off on your own, if you think you could use the extra help, make a little cheat sheet with conversation topics, and add in a game like thumb wars, and I think you are well on your way ;)

Author:  SolidJackson [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 10:34 am ]
Post subject: 

Hey thanks man:) I especially like that part about the french kiss-thingy, I've actually been to france a couple of times and got myself into some rather embarrassing situations due to that. I've also thought of a few topics to discuss if convo suddenly dies on us..

Ah well three hours to go, gotta get out of my head.. /jackson

Author:  Big Stevie [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 5:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

coffee is great...you show that you wanna spend time with hewr but ur not all over her(dinner+movie+bar= $200 night) just get the coffee(pay for her) then sit down and just say" so....what trouble u been causin these days"....b4 u know it an hour will pass

Author:  SolidJackson [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 11:00 pm ]
Post subject: 

Update: Things went great=) the french-kiss thingy turned out to be a nice ice-breaker. Hopefully I will see her again.

I also think you're right about not doin' the dinner-movie-bar combo Stevie, sounds totally archaic to me, seems like it would prolly come off as pretty AFC too. As to wheter you should pay for her coffee I'm inclined to disagree with you, seems like typically AFC behaviour to me, "being anxious to please" sort of thingy.. Then again I might be out totally out of line here:P
/Jackson

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