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| Need Help Cementing The Deal https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=53&t=40114 |
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| Author: | Drewrock [ Mon Feb 23, 2009 4:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Need Help Cementing The Deal |
Hi all. This is my first post. I hope I can be descriptive enough for some of you to be able to offer some thought and perhaps advice regarding a new interest in my life. I casually met this HB10(seriously) as an AFC (with a girlfriend at the time), while out on New Years Eve. I tried to talk to her, but it didn’t get very far because I was still very ”A”, very “F”, and while I’m dogging myself, pretty chumpish as well. The interaction probably went unremembered. Later on that night, our two groups of friends went to her house, had a few drinks, and BSed. I said nothing to her. Soon after, I broke up with my girlfriend and began reading The Game. Four weeks later and about half way through the book. I started sarging. I took baby steps in order to hopefully be successful in the long run. Five weeks after New Years I bumped in to this girl again at a bar. She was with a friend. With a drink in me, I decided to talk to her and her friend who were sitting at the bar. I popped up behind and in the middle of them. I cracked a joke about what we did on New Years and they laughed. After making them laugh, I quickly announced that I couldn’t talk for long because I was with friends. I paid little attention to the target, and even threw a slight neg in there. After joking around a bit, and I think making them a little comfortable around me. I gave them both a hug with on arm around each of their shoulders, and said “It was lovely talking to you two.” I left them and the bar shortly after. I considered this, so far so go. A week later, I am on vacation from work. A good buddy of mine comes to spend the weekend and we have a great weekend hanging with friends but not really sarging (he is unaware of such a thing). We stop into the same bar I mentioned above and immediately are greeted by what I see as a golden opportunity. The time is about 1:10, and the bar starts to close down around 1:45. The girls are sitting alone, close to the door, with Coronas 3/4 gone. I open up with something along the lines of “Hey I didn’t expect to see you two here.” We chat for a minute or two and then I motion my friend to follow to the bar to get drinks. We return to the girls, with 4 Caronas in my hands. When we get back to the girls, I hand one to my friend and keep 3 for a second. I don’t acknowledge the target, I take a double fisted sip, give the HB10’s friend a sort of “Whats up?” joking nod and hand her a beer. I give the target a sly smile and hand her a beer. The four of us talk and bullshit for a little while. I dominate the direction of the conversation but keep everyone included and talking. I go on about how my friend is visiting and we are having the best weekend ever. My target’s friend starts to become an obstacle by trying to jokingly punking me down, and hinting at absurd things like child molester, gay, etc. I take her jokes in a variety of ways — I laugh some of them off, poke some jokes back etc. I basically ( hopefully ) show that nothing is going to bring me off of this weekend high, I am the center of attention, and any hate thrown at me will roll off like a duck’s back. All in good natured fun. The lights in the bar flip on and I ask “What are you girls doing now, because we are having such a good night we are not going to end it now.” I tell them they are welcome to come back to my place with us. I tell them that I can’t promise them the best time, nor do I have a ton of booze at the crib, but my roommate and his girlfriend will be home shortly from work and they are late night party animals. Plus, its better than going home right? Shortly after I throw the invite out there, the bartender comes over and says, mainly to my target, “We are kicking people out now but you girls are welcome to stay after hours” Turns out, my target has been seeing the dickhead. The girls follow me to my place. I have one beer, a quarter inch of some girly vodka, some flat soda and some Hennessy. The obstacle girl chooses the beer, the target choose the vodka with soda, which I can almost guarantee was disgusting. We hang out with the TV on, the target and I on a love seat, the obstacle in a chair, and my buddy on the couch. My buddy falls asleep and we mess with him a little. The girls enjoy balancing things on his head and want to draw on his face but he soon wakes up. The target starts showing some IOI’s, a little kino and then approaches me while I’m in the kitchen, which is separated from the rest of. I make a joke about the drink I gave her, we laugh, I gently spin her around and guide her back to the living room and say “Let’s go watch this movie.” I think I may have unknowingly demonstrated a “push-pull” on her, but honestly I was just nervous and figured I would say something stupid if given the chance. My roommate and his girlfriend came home tipsy and loud, we all hung out for a bit, blah blah blah. The girls get tired. I tell them that they can stay but I only have one couch to offer them. I try to make it seem like I am simply a fun-loving, hospitable host. I tell them several times that “I wasn’t expecting company” and if I was, I would have more drinks on hand and better sleeping arrangements. The next day, I realized that this had mad the girls comfortable in my house and with me. When the girls leave, I walk them out and say “I had a really great time, do you girls want to do this again?” The obstacle says “Yeah sure, just hit us up on MySpace.” I completely ignore what she says and turn to my target and say “Let me have your phone number.” She offers it up with out any hesitation. We hug. They leave. I text her shortly after with “It was lovely hanging out with you girls!” She texts back with “ You too. We are already lost LOL. But we are getting directions” I pop up at her job Monday with my roommate and his girlfriend. She works at a retail store at a mall. I ask when she is done working and she says 3pm. Its 2:30. Perfect. I say “Lets get a coffee when you get out” she agrees and we do with out the roommate and GF. Turns out she doesn’t even drink coffee, she gets an iced tea. I pay. We rendezvous with my roommate and his girlfriend. Upon saying our goodbyes I ask her “Do you want to call me later?” (maybe a little to cocky), she repeats the question and suggests that I call her. I call her Monday evening. Blah, blah, blah, she says she slept all day and she is going to be up all night. I tell her that I am fresh out of the gym, on vacation, and ready to rock. She agrees to hang out. I take her to a bar where one of my friends works, we get a little loose, the whole date goes AMAZING. I realize that I like her more than just a pickup. When we decide to leave, my friend gives me the tab. $20 for 6 mixed drinks (some are topshelf) and a beer. I show my date the bill and state “My friends love to take care of me.” Again demonstrating value. I leave $30 and we bounce. When I drive her home, she expresses interested in coming home with me. On the drive home she expresses that most guys just want to fuck her and she isn’t going to do anything she isn’t comfortable with. I promise her “No monkey business” and she replies with “None?” We mess around a little, nothing to heavy and go to sleep. While cuddling the next morning she hints that she doesn’t really go home with guys, but she feels really comfortable around me. Everything goes great. I instruct “ Kiss Goodbye” when she steps out of my car. She does. I call her Wednesday evening. She tells me she is going out and where she will be which just happens to be the same place I am heading to meet up with friends. I ask her rhetorically “Would ya mind seein me again?” She says what seemed to be jokingly “Ya know.. I'm gonna be all nervous and stuff.” I take it as she wants to see me. I go to the bar, chat with a friend first and hand signal her from across the bar that I will be over in one minute. When I go over, she has retired to the bathroom. I chat with her friend, the same obstacle, who is a little more friendly this time around. When my target returns from the bathroom she sits with her back to me. Odd. After a couple minutes of being ignored she turns and talks to me. She seems a bit reserved, as if she wants to talk to me but I being held back or cautious. Entering stage left is the dickhead who was bar tending from a few nights ago. I introduce my self to him, and focus solely on him. Soon, a female bartender leans over to me and says “I hear two guys are competing for the interest of one lady.” I tell her “I’m beginning to realize that.” Maybe it was to good to be true. Hell maybe I can even take home the girl behind the bar. I excuse myself from the group and then from the bar shortly after. When I get home, she texts me with “Did you leave?” I respond with “Yes, I felt uncomfortable. Call me and I will explain.” The next day, she calls! I keep with the nice, comfortable guy stuff and explain that I don’t want to step on this guy’s toes. In reality, this little fuck wouldn’t even look in my direction if I was anything but cheery. After our conversation, I’m almost over her completely. Fuck it right? Figuring that my foot is still in the door, I text her on Friday with “Any chance you’d want to hang out tonight?” She agrees as long as I don’t keep her out late because she has plans with her family on Saturday. She asks when I am picking her up. She lives a half hour away. I tell her that I cook on Friday nights and she should join me. She has the obstacle drop her off at my house. We make dinner together. Everything goes awesome. I hate to say it but I get the feeling that she is exactly what I am looking for in the long term. Shit, this was NOT the goal of reading the book! Anyway, we eat, we cuddle and watch TV. I try to kiss her but she doesn’t let me. “I shouldn't ” she says. She doesn’t say it, but I get a strong feeling that she doesn’t want to kiss me because of this other dickhead in the picture. This leads me to think two things: A) She’s already fucking this dude, or B) She is doing the most respectable thing in the world and not putting out until she figures out who she is more interested in. Option B seems a little far fetched, but for some reason, I’m leaning that way. I delve a little deeper into the issue and most of her responses start out with “Well.....” and trail off into unfinished thoughts. The only sentence she competes is "Well, I do like him." I respect it, I kiss her on the cheek and head a few times through the night. She ends up staying over again. When laying in bed, just as I’m dozing off, SHE SNEAKS ME A KISS! The next morning goes better than her first stay. We cuddle longer, I make her a bagel. I get her home in time. She takes off with family for all of Saturday and Sunday. To the reader: I can’t stress enough how AMAZING our dates went. At a point she said smiling “I almost feel like you are just telling me what I want to hear.” We have and AMAZING connection and I really want to continue to get to know her and maybe even GF her. I’m no expert PUA, but I don’t think I am suffering from one-itis. There are some potential problems that I want to eliminate incase this goes any further. Problem 1: “Other dickhead” I hate to toot my own horn, but as far as demonstrating value to her, I feel like I have won this race by a mile. She loves art, hip-hop, fashion, New York City, designer and thrift shop clothes, outdoor activities, spontaneous trips, light drinking, a little weed, no hard drugs, and many other things. I AM an artists, deeply into hip hop (know to kick a few drunken rhymes), avid hiker and snowboarder, have ridden freight trains for days at a time (no joke), I booze and blaze in moderation. I have a good paying career, blah blah blah. This other guy listens to Phish, pushes a little weed, works at a bar, and wears Aeropostal. The dude is a straight herb in my book. Turds like this i probably took lunch money from as kids. BUT she did tell me that she liked him. There has to be some reason she likes him, I just don’t know what it is. Maybe he is reading The Game too. I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t bet on it. Problem 2: “Bad Habits Early On” I have spent a few bucks on her, driven her around a bit, called her more than she’s called me, ect. I feel like I’m perusing her more than she is perusing me. I don’t want to be involved with a girl that always expects to be treated like a princess at all times. I am the prize. Also, I feel that there is potential for me to fall into “Lets just be friends” by not attracting her sexually and continuing to invest time and money into her. A this point, I’d like to thank you for reading this far and I hope that by doing so, you will have some constructive feedback for me. My big question is this: How do I eliminate this other guy, show that I am the obvious choice, and attract her sexually? I look forward to your feedback! |
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| Author: | Charlie0 [ Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Okay, I skimmed through most of this... It's 1:40 in the AM. Sue me. You are doing fine. You've made a couple of little mistakes but you either recovered nicely or the girl's interested in you enough to overlook them. Keep going, don't forget to kino escalate and make her feel emotion with your dialogue. You can't eliminate your competition. Only she can do that. However, since she's dating around, you should too. Your relationship with her is NOT exclusive. Go out and have fun with girls. Let her know about the great time you're having, but don't go overboard in trying to make her jealous. Telling a story using very, very few gender-specific pronouns will work well. An example of this would be, "Oh hey, have you been to ClubX? That place is SO awesome. Me and my friend went there and had such a great time! The music was great, the people were fun, there was so many people and everyone was having a blast. For example, we went to go get drinks and the bartender asks what she wanted, and he did all this really cool bottle twirling stuff! We left him a nice tip. I felt like he earned it!" I would actually go to a cool club with a girl so you're not a liar. She doesn't have to even be cute. Just go with a girl. BE PREPARED that your target probably will pick up on that you went with a female and reciprocate your story with one of hers. She may even take it a tiny step further and go out of her way to mention 'dickhead'. Since your story was about a club and not the company though, there's a chance she might not, but just be prepared for it and don't let it shake you out of your frame. |
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| Author: | Drewrock [ Wed Feb 25, 2009 2:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the feedback Charlie! If you wouldn't mind, could you please expand on my mistakes you mentioned? |
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| Author: | Charlie0 [ Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Later on that night, our two groups of friends went to her house, had a few drinks, and BSed. I said nothing to her.
Why not?Quote: I popped up behind and...
Don't ever approach from behind unless you've known someone for a while and there is a TON of comfort toward you. It's creepy and a little weird.Quote: I paid little attention to the target, and even threw a slight neg in there.
Why? Did she do something bad?Quote: I tell them several times...
Alpha Male only has to speak once and he is heard and understood. Don't appologize. Offering an excuse is AFC'ish.Quote: “Any chance you’d want to hang out tonight?”
You're subcommunicating that your entire night hinges on her compliance.Quote: I feel that there is potential for me to fall into “Lets just be friends”
You're getting kisses, spooning with this chick, and you're worried about this? Kino escalate and see what happens. Blame her for making you interested.
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| Author: | Drewrock [ Thu Feb 26, 2009 5:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
thanks again Charlie. You have been most helpful. |
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